Performance Review
- Thread starter Badgers
- Start date
This is the odd thing with my review.
Salary is fair
Quite happy in my role in general
Not in an urgent rush for promotion or more responsibilities
Whilst I have frustrations with office politics, some processes and systems the job is mostly okay and I am not desperate for many changes.
Salary is fair
Quite happy in my role in general
Not in an urgent rush for promotion or more responsibilities
Whilst I have frustrations with office politics, some processes and systems the job is mostly okay and I am not desperate for many changes.
May Kasahara
take me to the feeling
Nice one beeboo! 
I had mine yesterday, it was alright and actually made me feel a lot more positive about work.
I had mine yesterday, it was alright and actually made me feel a lot more positive about work.
I hate these things. I had one last year where I was told I was significantly underachieving, and a month or so later I was told I wouldn't get a pay rise as a result, but because I'd only been there a couple of months, in a new career, I couldn't leave. I've spent the last year bumbling along, with no motivation to do any work, as a result.
They're a terrible management tool IMO.
They're a terrible management tool IMO.
May Kasahara said:Nice one beeboo!
I had mine yesterday, it was alright and actually made me feel a lot more positive about work.
I find they're usually not as bad as I expect either
I've also found out today that I've been shortlisted for interview for the "dream job" I applied for
Gavin Bl
terrible awful baaad
one of my fave bits in 'The Good Life' - first episode I think, where Tom is complaining to Gerry about how ridiculous company life is
Tom "Well it is ridiculous"
Gerry "Yes, but not out loud"
Amen - Don't fight it badgers, turn up and take their money, and eff off home .
Tom "Well it is ridiculous"
Gerry "Yes, but not out loud"
Amen - Don't fight it badgers, turn up and take their money, and eff off home .
sleaterkinney
Well-Known Member
Yeah, I have two to do a year, I have to give myself marks out of five on stuff as well, but my boss is sound about it.
trashpony
Hag
We get our overall performance assessed on a 9 box matrix. This year it was decided that too many people were getting satisfactory performance so they've said that there must be a certain number of people in each department who are deemed to be unsatisfactory. So if you're alright but not fantastic, you now run the risk of being put into the 'made of fail' category. And then you don't get a bonus 
This year, as I am being promoted, I apparently performed exceptionally,even though I have not worked any harder or better than last year. And I have also been on maternity leave for most of it. Hmm - perhaps that why 
Maybe I should just stay home and watch telly to outperform myself next year
This year, as I am being promoted, I apparently performed exceptionally,even though I have not worked any harder or better than last year. And I have also been on maternity leave for most of it. Hmm - perhaps that why
Maybe I should just stay home and watch telly to outperform myself next year
Limejuice
Well-Known Member
I used to work for an HR consulatncy that designed performance management systems for clients. Its own set up was anal beyond belief.
There was the usual "confess your sins" shit, where you assessed yourself, weaknesses and lack of achievement. The sort of process the Red Guards did so well in China.
Then there was the 360 degree bollocks, which allowed all the partners who shat on you during the year to say you were useless, and the junior people to say you acted like Ghengis Khan.
There would be some species of mental-patient treatment with a counsellor who wanted you to feel good about yourself, or better still with the firm especially after the shite review you'd just had.
Finally there was a goal setting session which boiled down to "be more liked by important people".
I cannot imagine a more dispiriting, drawn out, irrelevant and fruitless waste of human breath. At the end of the day, all the performance ratings were challeneged by the other department heads. The scores were force-distributed and anyone who wasn't a consultant got bonuses in the hundreds of quids, while the consultants received tens of thousands.
And every year after the process was endured, there would yet one more plaintive communication from the MD to consultants saying in effect: "Our unacceptable turnover in support staff is largely down to you people treating them like shit. Please be nice to the little people."
There was the usual "confess your sins" shit, where you assessed yourself, weaknesses and lack of achievement. The sort of process the Red Guards did so well in China.
Then there was the 360 degree bollocks, which allowed all the partners who shat on you during the year to say you were useless, and the junior people to say you acted like Ghengis Khan.
There would be some species of mental-patient treatment with a counsellor who wanted you to feel good about yourself, or better still with the firm especially after the shite review you'd just had.
Finally there was a goal setting session which boiled down to "be more liked by important people".
I cannot imagine a more dispiriting, drawn out, irrelevant and fruitless waste of human breath. At the end of the day, all the performance ratings were challeneged by the other department heads. The scores were force-distributed and anyone who wasn't a consultant got bonuses in the hundreds of quids, while the consultants received tens of thousands.
And every year after the process was endured, there would yet one more plaintive communication from the MD to consultants saying in effect: "Our unacceptable turnover in support staff is largely down to you people treating them like shit. Please be nice to the little people."
having spent 2 years helping to introduce a Perf Review / grading relating to promotion & reward system into the workplace, I have to admit that unless there is a real desire to look at each staff member individually and actually take note of his/ her desires/ ambitions/ weakenesses / strenghts - then the whole excercise it a time filler for HR dept & line managers
Consultants are paid to advise and introduce such systems - which DO work if they are used properly - but the inevitable result is that the same protective, self serving company politcal wankers ( like me ) get to sign off on the new improved reviews
and thats all that usually happens - they sign off and make some vague mealy mouthed shite comments at the bottom, then it is filed away until the next time it is needed
When you have the same wankers in charge - who are effectively looking after # 1 whatever they say - its going to make little difefrence however you review the staff
I was full of optimism for my staff when this was introduced, but the sad realisation is that it makes no difference cos of the people who have the final sanction on this
very much a "glass very much empty, smashed on the bar top & ground into my face" type of post I admit
Consultants are paid to advise and introduce such systems - which DO work if they are used properly - but the inevitable result is that the same protective, self serving company politcal wankers ( like me
) get to sign off on the new improved reviewsand thats all that usually happens - they sign off and make some vague mealy mouthed shite comments at the bottom, then it is filed away until the next time it is needed
When you have the same wankers in charge - who are effectively looking after # 1 whatever they say - its going to make little difefrence however you review the staff
I was full of optimism for my staff when this was introduced, but the sad realisation is that it makes no difference cos of the people who have the final sanction on this
very much a "glass very much empty, smashed on the bar top & ground into my face" type of post I admit
Damn!
Today is the day.........
Review starts at 11:00 and I got up before 06:00 today to write up notes, ideas and other pointless crap which will be forgotten by the end of the month.
The director who will be 'assessing' me is familiar with the companies shortcomings and seems to do a lot less work than me (or anyone come to that) so I am not overly bothered. Just could do without it really.....
Today is the day.........
Review starts at 11:00 and I got up before 06:00 today to write up notes, ideas and other pointless crap which will be forgotten by the end of the month.
The director who will be 'assessing' me is familiar with the companies shortcomings and seems to do a lot less work than me (or anyone come to that) so I am not overly bothered. Just could do without it really.....
Fucking shit fuck!!
This has just been reared it's ugly head again and I have been told it MUST be done now. I have a few days to complete this shit and can think of nothing worse right now.....
They have actually gone as far as to send me a template but it is the poorest example of a Word document I have ever seen. Does anyone else have a template they use which is not totally shit?
This has just been reared it's ugly head again and I have been told it MUST be done now. I have a few days to complete this shit and can think of nothing worse right now.....
They have actually gone as far as to send me a template but it is the poorest example of a Word document I have ever seen. Does anyone else have a template they use which is not totally shit?
Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
i've been looking but i still haven't found one, sozFucking shit fuck!!
This has just been reared it's ugly head again and I have been told it MUST be done now. I have a few days to complete this shit and can think of nothing worse right now.....
They have actually gone as far as to send me a template but it is the poorest example of a Word document I have ever seen. Does anyone else have a template they use which is not totally shit?
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
Gosh, you've either been searching a quadrillion files or you are a terrible searcher. And I know it's not the latter.
I applaud your dedication and multitasking sir.
A380
How do I change this 'custom title' thing then?
Pickman's model ’s annual appraisal history.
Objective 1: locate word document template of the quality defined by Badgers .
2008 not achieved
2009 not achieved
2010 not achieved
2011 not achieved
2012 not achieved
2013 not achieved
2014 not achieved
2015 not achieved
2016 not achieved
2017 not achieved
2018 not achieved. No further SMART action plan in place.
Objective 1: locate word document template of the quality defined by Badgers .
2008 not achieved
2009 not achieved
2010 not achieved
2011 not achieved
2012 not achieved
2013 not achieved
2014 not achieved
2015 not achieved
2016 not achieved
2017 not achieved
2018 not achieved. No further SMART action plan in place.
Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
Yeh. The objective was seek such a template. And I have sought.
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
Sought far, and wide, and long. That's 'exceeds expectations'. Maybe 'meets expectations' for the first year or two.
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