Performance Review

Discussion in 'education & employment' started by Badgers, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Please kill me.....
     
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  2. rennie

    rennie m'enfin!

    Ha! If i decide to move, I'd be having two of them a year as well.
     
  3. ATOMIC SUPLEX

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    Ha hh ah aha ah ahahah

    I have to do these too, it never changes anything.
     
  4. Kanda

    Kanda Diving wanker

    It does when you can point out all the things THEY failed to do that were agreed on the previous review.

    Use them to your advantage, it's better than working in a company that doesn't give a fuck about personal development or performance.

    But then, some companies just want to appear to give a fuck :rolleyes:
     
  5. ATOMIC SUPLEX

    ATOMIC SUPLEX Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3

    I work for a big big company and nothing filters far enough back. Even if it did they would not understand the workings of the smaller departments.
     
  6. zenie

    zenie >^^<

    I take it you are receiving not giving?

    Just wear your hat and shades, do a fat line of k before you go in you'll be fine :cool:
     
  7. Mr_Nice

    Mr_Nice A Weekend Warrior

    And thats exactly why I am a freelance IT guy :D

    No reviews, no 'one to ones', no team meetings, and you know what ....








    No drugs tests :D Priceless
     
  8. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I have actually pushed my luck slightly on that front.

    ;)
     
  9. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    What is annoying is that I have only been here for 6 months so have no prior review to start with. So now I have to sum up the work I have done for half a year on an A4 page with a 'grading system'

    :rolleyes:
     
  10. filthygypsy

    filthygypsy Too filthy for you!

    Wouldnt worry about the review. We have reviews twice a year. You do 200% more than your objectives and still dont get any reward. And, any "individual development" you ask for never happens. They say "this goes towards pay reviews", but it doesnt. They actually calcuate them seperately. So someone who just meets their objectives can actually get more than someone who does 200% more than their objectives. At any rate, the "normal" pay rise is 3% here, and if you are exceptionally lucky you get 4%. (unless you work in marketing here, where a 20%->100% rise has been known).
     
  11. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Still trying to fill in this retarded fucking form :mad:

    I am fucked if I have the first fucking idea about the expected 'area' versus 'metric' over the past six months.

    Then I have to rate myself out of 10 for the same time period. Based on fucking what you twats? I work to about 40% of my own personal ability, 95% of what my role dictates and am about 60% of the company mentality they expect!!! I guess I will just take a mean of the three and add a random decimal point by closing my eyes and jabbing the keyboard with a pen.

    What three specific things will I 'improve' about my performance over the coming six months?

    1. I will steal less stuff from the company. This is because I now have a smaller bag.
    2. Instead of raising concerns about moronic business decisions I will now nod and smile so they do not think I am negative or not a team player.
    3. I will stop taking peoples business cards from their desks and sticking them to the walls in public toilets (actually I will probably still do that one).

    Will I get a bonus? Will I fuck!

    :mad:
     
  12. zenie

    zenie >^^<

    Glad to see your morale for the job isn't waning Badgers! :cool:
     
  13. Numbers

    Numbers an ting!

    super post mate... :D

    I've been in this place 11 years with a serious drug habit running in conjunction, so my focus reviews are interesting to say the least. Esp' when I get to the end of it and the boss and I talk about scoring all sorts of things.

    My effectiveness and productivity within the eyes of the company are never below 95%.
     
  14. Red Faction

    Red Faction Allez Les Rouges

    :D :D :D :D :D
     
  15. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Seeing as my plastic promotion is only eight days old and I am already bored shitless, the future is not bright.
     
  16. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Half three this afternoon......
     
  17. zenie

    zenie >^^<


    Plastic promotion? :confused:

    English please!!

    Good Luck Knock em dead dude :cool:
     
  18. fractionMan

    fractionMan Custom Title

    Put down that you'd like two days off a week (paid) to do a part time mastyers and that you expect them to pay for it.

    They'll soon stop asking you what you want.
     
  19. wrysmile

    wrysmile Silver Japanese Pony

    At my last work I had a half-day course to teach me 'how to get the most from my appraisal'. :confused: It made me laugh, but parts were useful in a broader sense.

    Now I work for a shit employer, I think it's good that at least you can get the opportunity. Depends how crap your boss is though - my old boss was ace so it was a good chance to sit down and plan for things.

    Good luck!
     
  20. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Well, it is all done now and was shorter than expected which is always a blessing. Much as I really wanted to include the three specific things I posted earlier I decided not to. I would love to have seen my (very serious) line managers face but also thought it may have had the potential to plant the seed of doubt about my dedication to the company :)

    The only real whinge that was raised was my general attitude and sense of humour which has pretty much been the feedback since I was at school parent evenings.

    I was given a plastic (sideways) promotion which started the 1st of August with a new department. As a result of the work acheived so far they have asked me to run the department which is pretty nice after two weeks. Not sure if I really want it yet but have a week to think about it.

    Interesting my line manager told me that he felt I was the most influencial person in a department of over 30. When I asked why he thought this he said it was based on feedback from the management, department and customers. He said that worried him as much as it pleased him and he wanted me to 'use this power for good' and I promise that is what he said!!!!! I felt like superman for about 7 seconds then got distraced by a pigeon on the window sill behind him.

    Weird!! :confused:
     
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  21. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Suddenly rumours of this madness are flying around my office....
     
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  22. May Kasahara

    May Kasahara thoughts start with a laser sound

    Cheers, you've just reminded me that I need to start sorting out my appraisal.

    :mad:
     
  23. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I find myself getting twisted up by this stuff....
     
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  24. May Kasahara

    May Kasahara thoughts start with a laser sound

    Thankfully mine is just with my boss, who is cool and friendly. The problem is that I haven't exactly outperformed myself this year, especially not in the latter half (which is the bit under review). Motivation and enthusiasm have been distinctly lacking. I fear this may come to light.
     
  25. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    I (like most people I guess) work to a lot less than 100% capacity.

    This is generally because office politics, poor procedures, poor processes and antiquated technology demotivates me.

    When I am asked to identify things I need to improve by a company that needs to improve...


    Hey.....Ho.....
     
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  26. kabbes

    kabbes "A top 400 poster"

    I have five people's performance reviews to do. I take it seriously -- I certainly don't expect them to do all the hard work. I see it as a genuine chance to help people attain the long-term things that they want.

    But fuck me, it's hard work. Or it should be, if you are doing it properly. I've spent all day just doing four peoples' sets of objectives, to try to turn what they want out of life into a set of tangible actions that they can take this year towards them. Any company that just hands its employees their own forms and expects those employees to get on with it themselves is just paying the process a bare minimum of lip service.
     
  27. sam/phallocrat

    sam/phallocrat Denarian + 1 R.I.P.

    I had my PDR (personal development review) a few weeks ago, which is tied in with the KSF (knowlwedge and skills framework). It was a mostly a breeze as my manager's rather sound and my job isn't exactly demanding. Objectives include 'keep coming into work on time', 'write minutes a bit quicker' and 'be a bit more proactive'. My development needs include 'learn about excel' and 'deal with wanker doctors a bit better'. I think I'll cope . . .
     
  28. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    The cunting thing has just landed in my fucking inbox :mad:

    I have to complete it by Monday 5pm
    Appraisal taking place on the 13th

    :mad:
     
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  29. May Kasahara

    May Kasahara thoughts start with a laser sound

    Unlucky Badgers. I've got mine on Monday morning and had similar struggles with the form. Where it asked what I thought would improve my performance in the role, I was forced by natural honesty to write 'More enthusiasm'.
     
  30. Badgers

    Badgers Mr Big Shrimp!

    Should have had this done yesterday but was not in the office.
    Need to get started but even thinking about it is making me angry.

     
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