rogue_lettuce
Well-Known Member
It's not HORRIBLE, it just comes across as a bit muddled. It's a bit like you got Dali, Nietzsche and some common clichés and threw them in a frying pan with loads of quick subject-changes as some seasoning.
I think you'd be better off trying to stick to one style and one subject, and explore it fully, so it comes across as less schizophrenic. But that's just my humble view on the matter, others seem to like it.
Oh, and I dont think this was the best sub-forum to post it in, but it's a hard call - I'd have put it in books/tv/radio/writing, since it's a piece of writing? Meh.
I think you'd be better off trying to stick to one style and one subject, and explore it fully, so it comes across as less schizophrenic. But that's just my humble view on the matter, others seem to like it.
Oh, and I dont think this was the best sub-forum to post it in, but it's a hard call - I'd have put it in books/tv/radio/writing, since it's a piece of writing? Meh.


If you think you've found one, it just means you haven't worked out the underlying rules yet. And relax.

