Pampas Grass, the symbol of swingers

Discussion in 'suburban75' started by Firky, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. Firky

    Firky The first of the gang Banned

    It is a well established fact that if you have pampas grass in your garden you're going to attract swingers (swingers use the grass as an advert to other swingers). Has anyone got pampas grass in their garden and are they swingers, or have they ever had anyone knocking on their door asking to swing?


    Lo Siento., Random and Yuwipi Woman like this.
  2. Looby

    Looby Well-Known Member

    I suspected my old manager was a swinger and a colleague told me she also had pampas grass.

    She used to spend a lot of time in her friends hot tub too which I think is another sign of swinging.
  3. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    The ones I knew didn't have any pampas grass. No front garden either.
  4. fogbat

    fogbat The Talibum

    My parents had pampas grass in their back garden. I don't know what this signifies.
    such and such and Edie like this.
  5. tombowler

    tombowler still missing the point

    back door only rule?

    I'm off to the garden center to buy some pampas grass at the weekend, after a trip to Brno for the moto gp.
    Thimble Queen, stuff_it and Greebo like this.
  6. Yuwipi Woman

    Yuwipi Woman Whack-A-Mole Queen

    Gay swingers?

  7. moose

    moose like some cat from Japan

    A swinger I know has a hot tub but no pampas, because he set fire to it in a bbq accident last year. Don't think he's had any less offers because of it, though. He has a big glass ashtray.
  8. astral

    astral author unknown

    This explains so much.
  9. fogbat

    fogbat The Talibum

    Which part? The presence of pampas grass, or my lack of understanding? :hmm:
  10. pogofish

    pogofish Testicle Hairstyle

  11. stuff_it

    stuff_it stirred the primordial soup

    When my mum moves, I might plant some in her new front garden and see what happens. Muahahahahaha.
    RaverDrew and Greebo like this.
  12. astral

    astral author unknown

    The pampas grass, the back garden and your parents.
  13. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    No exhibitionists? ;)
  14. gentlegreen

    gentlegreen sproutarian

    I have pink pampas - bought it by accident - was disappointed, then dead chuffed ..
    Looks absolutely fabulous dahling until the first rains ..:(

    Definitely one for an arid climate.
    Purdie and Yuwipi Woman like this.
  15. fogbat

    fogbat The Talibum

    That actually works as a Cluedo accusation :cool:
  16. Firky

    Firky The first of the gang Banned

    Hot tub, pampas grass, large vase or ash-tray. Any other traits? Double garage, forecourt parking area?
  17. DotCommunist

    DotCommunist slowtime

    that fucking plant can cause finer cuts than the most edged of paper when you try to cut it down
  18. Orang Utan


    Not only did my parents have pampas grass, they also had a minibus. We were always getting sent off for the weekend.
  19. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    Sheepskin rugs?
  20. Edie

    Edie Well-Known Member

    That is strange coincidence, I only got told about the pampas grass thing today by a mate. It made me lol but I just thought she meant it was typical of the kind of middle aged suburban type who might be into swinging, didn't realise it was a 'thing' :eek:
  21. Orang Utan


    It's not really a thing. People just say it was.
  22. stuff_it

    stuff_it stirred the primordial soup

    Leylandii hedges.
  23. mao

    mao I'm totally wired

  24. weltweit

    weltweit Well-Known Member

    I have pampas, but in my back garden out of sight.

    I am a closet swinger :)
  25. Firky

    Firky The first of the gang Banned

  26. Idris2002

    Idris2002 chief propagandist (official)

    Maybe your old manager was just from the 1970s.

    Did she have a pet rock as well?
  27. DrRingDing

    DrRingDing 'anti-human wanker'

    My father was a swinger and he didn't have pampas grass in his garden.

    I'm poly and I have willy shaped chillis growing in my backyard.

    You do the math.
    stuff_it and Greebo like this.
  28. gentlegreen

    gentlegreen sproutarian

    The wrong car keys ?
  29. bluescreen

    bluescreen Je est un autre

    Mr Vendor the car salesman is dead. Mrs Vendor became a governor of the local independent Catholic school. Together, they put the kitsch into our kitchen. Then they moved.

    We painted everything white.

    There was pampas grass in the garden. We tried everything including flamethrowers, even before I learned of its mythical signalling properties. The house also sported a sign at the gate saying "Beware of the dog" and I'm still racking my brains about what coded message that sent out.
    No, they didn't have a dog: the stains on the carpet were caused by hair bleach.

    Oh, and months later we were still digging airgun pellets out of the bedroom floorboards. Even now, I'm surprised when I accidentally trip the switch that activates lights in what used to be the flowerbeds.

    Twenty years, it must be. Our built-in oven's on the blink.

    Liver failure, I heard.
  30. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

    I saw lots of pampas grass in Wales during the last week. *starts wondering about the Welsh*

    worries editor will see this post
    pogofish and danny la rouge like this.

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