One short sentence film reviews...

[inflatable jesus]

The Matrix

Keanu Reeves solves first year undergrad philosophy essay question with inspired use of Kung Fu.

 

[i_hate_beckham]

Indiana Jones Trilogy

Time Team with whips and guns.

 

[mentalchik]

dawn of the dead

everyone i know is dead

 

[fishfingerer]

Wall Street.

A bad man brings capitalism into disrepute but gets caught so everything's ok.

 

[chooch]

The English Patient
I'm both; still shit.

 

[omnipotent]

Constantine

religious propoganda in a bad disguise

Dodgeball: Idiots getting hit in the head with spanners and volleyballs

Memento: I/ I can't/ I can't remember.

 

[spacemonkey]

Lost in Translation

Some boring rich guy goes on a business trip.

 

[Virtual Blue]

SAW 2 - film about a terminally-ill serial killer who never seems to die.

 

[Biffo]

Lost in Translation

Some boring rich guy goes on a business trip.

OR

Burnt out actor meets bored newly wed in Japan but they don't fuck.

 

[goldenecitrone]

Broken Flowers

Don Juan meets Lolita. They don't shag.

 

[shoddysolutions]

The Big Lebowski

Dude, where's my carpet?

 

[Griff]

The Breakfast Club:

Kids in detention.

 

[akirajoel]

Alien

Gaint Monster Penis kills people in space.

Aliens

Alien + More Guns.

Alien 3

She dies at the end.

Alien Resurrection

Piece of shit.

 

[shoddysolutions]

25th Hour

Do the Right Thing

Do the Right Thing

Pessimistic pizza

 

[akirajoel]

Happiness

Not.

 

[Virtual Blue]

The Lost Highway - Midgets holding mini-cams scare the fuck out of me.

 

[stereotypical]

Leatherface : Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3

Not as bad as you might think

 

[kakuma]

red scorpion

just shite

 

[shoddysolutions]

Koyaanisqaatsi

The planet is going down the toilet and we're all doomed

Bladerunner

I'm OK, you're a replicant. Goodbye.

 

[akirajoel]

Audition

I can't look.

 

[shoddysolutions]

There's Something About Mary

There's Something About Cameron Diaz

 

[ViolentPanda]

The Long Good Friday
Sex 'n' Thugs 'n' Isle of Dogs.

Hunt for the Red October
Russian Scotsman defects with submarine.

 

[Balbi]

Ghostbusters

When Dan Akroyd was good.

 

[chooch]

True Romance
Cocaine, guns, fucking.

Boogie Nights
Fucking, cocaine, guns.

Scarface
Fucking cocaine, fucking fucking, fucking guns.

 

[citydreams]

The Lost Boys

people are strange and you're a god-damn blood-sucking vampire

Kill Bill

bang bang I shoot you down, but then take to you with my sharp knife

 

[i_hate_beckham]

Mask

Which one would you to know about?

 

[Leo JP]

Spiderman

Student is bitten by spider, develops superhuman senses, strength and tailoring abilities.

Jurassic Park

Mad Prehistoric Dinosaur creates park full of mad Prehistoric Dinosaurs.

Nightmare on Elm Street

Sexually promiscuous teenagers terrorised by lovechild of Dennis the Menace and Edward Scissorhands

 

[rubbershoes]

Blair Witch Project

Unhappy campers
or
If you go down to the woods today

 

[Cotch]

Lost in Translation

Nothing happens, nothing happens, wins an Oscar because of her dad, nothing happens ...

 

[Rasberry Nipple]

Audition

I can't look.

or

Audition

That noise.