Not happy at school

[pogofish]

no i havent, i wasnt aware that there was an EWO, teh school nurse did not mentione anything when drawing up the care plan. I will bear it in mind though, thank you very much for that info

I've tried to be supportive and pleasant as i can be but i wont continue to be so if they are going to be like this with my son.

Yes. Every authority should have them - They usually work between a group of schools & would be the ones to arrange a nurse to attend to your kid. However I would be surprised that they would need to be involved simply for a pill. Having the kids led away for meds, then returned to class can be a disruptive & stigmatising experience. Which is something normally best avoided unless there is no other way or the treatment involves disrobing, dressings/bags/injections etc.

You can be as nice as pie to them but if a school gets it in for you or your kid, it can be absolutely hellish to deal with. In that case, proper legal advice or the help of an active support group is essential & you would be well advised to gen-up on the various education acts as well. It is beginning to sound that this lot may need a few gentle reminders.

.
I do agree but if it was serious enough fpor him to be sent out of his class and if the head of year is now seriously considering informal exclusions then I should think they would want to raise the issue with the parent and not merely threaten the chiod with it without giving any notice or details of teh behaviour policy and when such things would be implemented

They have not even given me a copy of their behaviour policy as requested. They like to keep the walls up and are very very poor at parental involvememnt.

There should be a clear policy on exclusions & you should be made aware of it ASAP & certainly before your child is made aware of it.

No, no way! If they will not provide a copy, then you should get it straight from the authority. This is almost beyond belief for a school today.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

That's my entire life right now. I've taken to reading dross like Agatha Christie, because it really is so different to my life!

Well then I appreciate your input all the more!
I need to forget about this for the night as we've got hospital tomorrow because he's broken one of his teeth in half and I hope they will be able to reconstruct it instead of more extractions. Gladly he's not in pain as the nerve died ages ago and said tooth has already been root filled but thats another thread...

It is daft that there's so much difficulty about reminding a child to take his medication. Admistering medication is one thing, but this is just about reminding a small boy what time it is.

Especially when i've explained to them that in the next six months they are intensifying his treatment (doesnt impact on their role as the current method is the easiest administration of his meds) in an effort to avoid surgery and they have a letter to support that.
Still, if they can't pull their finger out i will press for a more formal arrangement.

 

[Mungy]

would you consider home education?

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

the thought has crossed my mind a number of times and he migth need to miss a substantial amount of school for medical reasons next year so i might just pull him out a bit earlier. i did homeschool my brother for a while too and that was at gcse level so i've got some experience of it.
my only concern is that he wouldn't get much interaction with his peers

although, they are supposed to have sats at teh end of year 2 arent they? the school will not be happy about me removing him because he is one of teh top in the class and will do their league tables good. i will have to speak to someone about that actually because if i need to pull him out for medical reasons that will be in teh late spring/early summer, just at the time they gear up for the SATS.
What effect would it have on his future schooling if he doesnt sit those SATS?

I met with teh head and he wants to meet me with my boy to explain to him that the teacher was not fed up with him but she was trying to show that she was frustrated with his behaviour. I agree to that, i want my boy to see that the teachers, including the authoritarian head teacher, are not fed up with him. He needs to know that or else he could become so disenfranchised that he gives up altogether.
I've also highlighted a number of things that i consider to be bad practise, and there are soem things he is following up.
I'll ask for another meeting with him in a week or so as I want to see everythign they have in his file and to let them know I am still on the case.

 

[Mungy]

my only concern is that he wouldn't get much interaction with his peers

http://www.education-otherwise.org/

there are plenty of home education groups across the country, some affiliated with EO and some not. Many families in similar situations as yourself. They will help a great deal with any socialisation issues you may have. Doing the best for your kid is the important thing. Whether that is home schooling or state school or whatever you are the best one to make that decision.

 

[pogofish]

my only concern is that he wouldn't get much interaction with his peers

I met with teh head and he wants to meet me with my boy to explain to him that the teacher was not fed up with him but she was trying to show that she was frustrated with his behaviour.

I'm not convinced about that. Every study I've read & personal experience of working with a lot of homeschoolers (my very anti-homeschool authority put them all on our books once) suggests that they are not short of quality interaction & indeed are often far more socialised than their conventionally schooled peers. Many of the parental support groups for homeschooling also organise a wide range of activities to ensure they do get plenty of interaction.

That explanation sounds awfully like an attempt at a cop-out to me.

 

[BlueSquareThing]

What effect would it have on his future schooling if he doesnt sit those SATS?

Absolutely none - assuming he can do the basics.

 

[shygirl]

Just wondering if your son goes to a church school, as my experience of them is that they are far less inclined to deal with anything remotely special needs than, say, county schools.

 

[shygirl]

Oh, and don't worry about the sats, they really don't matter a toss. Wales has had the good sense to drop them, perhaps the english will follow suit.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

That explanation sounds awfully like an attempt at a cop-out to me.

absolutely, it is a cop out. i've told him that she should not have said that to him and thanked him for telling me but i stopped short of telling him that she is an unprofessional cow simply because i want him to respect the teachers. i think its important for him to speak tot he head though and for the head to tell him that she didnt mean it in that way, if only to reassure him a little.

i suppose what it boils down to is that i see school as a good place for him to interact with other people. other adults and other children because most of the time he is with me. we dont have any family in this country and when he is not with me he is at school. i want him to form relationships with other people independantly.
there will be some time when i will be home schooling him, possibly for about2-3 months, i'm just debating about extending that to 5-6 months. i dont know, i suppose i'll see how it goes for the next month or two, see if teh school are any good at resolving problems and if he is any happier there

 

[_angel_]

It does sound like he may be better off out of there. Good luck.

 

[Edie]

OMG Shifty I just read this

This is a nightmare, for sure. Your kids unhappy, you have no way of knowing exactly what's going on, the school are being unhelpful and at the end of the day WTF can you do? It's horrible that feeling of powerlessness, like if I make too much of a fuss or ask for reasons etc then they may hate me and take it out on my kid, but at the end of the day you just want your nipper to be happy and learning

FWIW you sound like you're dealing with it really well. What is all this nonsense about schools not giving medication? It's just ridiculous, how can kids go to school if they can't have medication when they need it?

Oh and "Homeless" mal, what a twatish comment, who the fuck can afford private education? Hardly anyone. The rest of us are lumped with the state schools near to us. How lovely for you to be able to choose to send your kids to private school- I'd love my kids to get the levels of attention and encouragement offered by a private school.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

Latest instalment

Yet again they are failing my son
I've had a letter from the school today which says that the teacher is concerned that he won't be getting his medication properly, that it could affect his health and that she might be blamed.
The solution?
That I should go to the school and give it to him myself. Four times during school hours.
Their stance seems to be that ShiftyJunior should be able to remember himself, he doesn't ask for it. In fact he didn't ask the supply teacher that took them on monday (the supply teacher who hadn't read his inadequate care plan) so he didnt have any medication until the afternoon when the teacher returned and then he drank teh whole day's dose .
How can a 6 year old who cannot yet tell the time be expected to remember to take it all by himself? That seems outrageously stupid and unfair to me, am I being unreasonable?

If I wasn't so livid I might cry
I can't believe that they are being so obstructive when all the teacher needs to do is work out when would be the most convenient time in the timetable to remind him, set an alarm and tell him it's medicine time. Not fucking rocket science.
I am going to write them a very shitty letter and copy it to someone important. I'll get his consultant (who I'm seeing next week and is most sympathetic) to write to them and to the school nurse to confirm everythign I've been telling them for months.
I am meeting the Deputy Head tomorrow (as teh head is too busy) and I'm telling her that I will not send my son to school until there is a formally agreed arrangement and ask her to send me the work he would otherwise miss out on because I don't want his education to suffer.
I might not send him back at all because I'm appalled at how they've handled it all.

 

[zenie]

Yeh I would contact your education welfare officer too and voice your concerns that your son cannot go to school because they are failing to give him needed medication. I'm sure they'll be interested...they have to be!!

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

Yes, thats a good idea. I'm also supposed to be meeting the school nurse on monday to review his care plan so I'm going to make a big fuss about it all then too.

 

[_angel_]

Please do. This sounds wrong. I think I'd probably have taken the kid out by now (But I expect finding another school will be a massive problem)

How do they cope with other health conditions? Schools are supposed to be inclusive to children with disablities and health problems--- they can't just refuse to deal with them.

 

[Homeless Mal]

If I were a primary or secondary teacher there is no way I would supervise a child taking their medication, even setting a reminder (facilitating the taking of medication) to protect myself in case anything happened. It's called self protection. When I did my training there was never an expectation we as teachers would have to act in this capacity. I think you are expecting too much. What you are asking is in no way unreasonable but your son is at a state school. Imagine if every parent needed their child to take medication and be reminded. It wouldn't work. I think you need to look at things from another angle or completely up the anti and take your complaint to a body that overseas the school.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

Please do. This sounds wrong. I think I'd probably have taken the kid out by now (But I expect finding another school will be a massive problem)

I would have removed him but teh teacher has been quite reassuring and has never said to me that she doesn't feel able or that she doesn't want to remind him when he needs to take his medication. I thought that she was finding it difficult but she was going to work something out.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

I think you are expecting too much. What you are asking is in no way unreasonable but your son is at a state school.

So children with special educational needs or medical complaints should steer clear of mainstream education?

I think you need to look at things from another angle or completely up the anti and take your complaint to a body that overseas the school.

I most certainly will be taking the complaint forward. No doubt about that.

 

[Homeless Mal]

So children with special educational needs or medical complaints should steer clear of mainstream education?

I was alluding more to class size.

 

[scifisam]

Medication came up as an aside when I was talking to my daughter's headmistress today, and she said that they can only give medicines if they've been prescribed by a doctor. This means that they can give kids medication. I know that's not what you're asking them to do, but it's useful to know.

It's funny how the school thinks it's too much to expect the teacher - an educated adult - to remember to tell your son to take his medicine, but they don't think it's too much to expect of a six-year-old boy.

@Mal: what kind of teacher did you train as, then? Primary school teachers often have to deal with non-educational stuff like this, because the kids are so young. I am a teacher, and I wouldn't consider it a huge burden to remind a child to take medication.

 

[Homeless Mal]

Medication came up as an aside when I was talking to my daughter's headmistress today, and she said that they can only give medicines if they've been prescribed by a doctor. This means that they can give kids medication. I know that's not what you're asking them to do, but it's useful to know.

It's funny how the school thinks it's too much to expect the teacher - an educated adult - to remember to tell your son to take his medicine, but they don't think it's too much to expect of a six-year-old boy.

@Mal: what kind of teacher did you train as, then? Primary school teachers often have to deal with non-educational stuff like this, because the kids are so young. I am a teacher, and I wouldn't consider it a huge burden to remind a child to take medication.

High school. I also wouldn't consider it a burden but at the same time would be reluctant to get involved. I think teachers should be allowed not to cooperate in something like this.

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

High school. I also wouldn't consider it a burden but at the same time would be reluctant to get involved. I think teachers should be allowed not to cooperate in something like this.

Yes. fine, I don't disagree but some other mechanism should kick in if the teacher is unwilling or unable to remind the student.

 

[Homeless Mal]

Yes. fine, I don't disagree but some other mechanism should kick in if the teacher is unwilling or unable to remind the student.

I think the mechanism the school have in mind is you.

 

[Miss-Shelf]

Homeless Mal - a serious question - are you in this thread and another recent one about schooling issues - playing devils advocate or are you behind all the statements you make? Your comments do provoke debate which is what you might be wanting to achieve.

shiftybaglady
what a carry on from the school

private and maintained day nurseries are allowed to administer prescribed medication as its seen as meeting the needs of the child(family)

There are policies and insurance to cover our backs in this situation

and school staff on occasion are trained to administer emergency medication such as epipens and epilepsy medication. Many people I've worked with in schools are more than happy (teachers and others) to provide this as they recognise that they are dealing with the whole child and not just their brains (and sats results).

and most classroom staff have a child with asthma and schools have a policy and practice to administer inhalers - usually children are reminded at a set time to either go to the office or take it in the room.

you don't sound like a difficult parent and even if you were the most awkward parent in the world the staff at the school are professionals who are paid to teach your child - and teaching a child includes self care and self esteem and inclusion and community

hope you get it resolved soon in a way that works for you.

 

[Homeless Mal]

I am saying what I believe and hopefully in some way helping the poster. The situation is obviously upsetting her. My intention is merely give my viewpoint and to answer the query of whether shiftybaglady was being unreasonable.

 

[scifisam]

I think the mechanism the school have in mind is you.

That's not a reasonable alternative, though. It's effectively telling the parent to give up work, all for the sake of someone - the teacher or someone else - setting an alarm.

I could understand if they were being asked to perfrom kidney dialysis on a kid several times a day, but this just isn't a big deal, or shouldn't be.

 

[madamv]

No, it shouldnt be.

Have you thought about getting him a funky bleeper? Something like a watch that goes off and disrupts the whole class ensuring he gets his meds? Sorry you're all having to go through this sbl x

 

[BlueSquareThing]

It's funny how the school thinks it's too much to expect the teacher - an educated adult - to remember to tell your son to take his medicine, but they don't think it's too much to expect of a six-year-old boy.

And if the teacher forgets? Doesn't hear the alarm? It breaks down? Is on the other side of the room?

Is scared shitless any of those might happen and that something bad might happen as a result?

I'm a teacher. I reckon I'd forget pretty regularly. I could tell you that I'd remind him every single day at the right time but I reckon I'd still forget and then I wouldn't be doing what I'd be telling you (or the OP) I'd do.

Kid needs an LSA to do this. That's what they're good at - they have the time to concentrate properly on individuals without a million and one distractions. SEN person needs to get involved and sort it because it's going to disrupt his education otherwise.

That's what I'd be pushing for in this position, not trying to cause a whole pile of aggro for the school. If they can't manage that then, fine, start causing some hassle, but go down that route first.

 

[Looby]

How about him having a pager that he is allowed to keep on vibrate or something?