Whateve your view on Greggs, I was impressed with their complaints service.
A colleague wrote to them after a disappointing experience with their products:
"Good morning.
A particularly interesting item of Greggs packaging was brought to our attention recently. The item appears to be packaging used to house your pasties. It reads, "A variety of delicious fillings strategically scooped inside, concealed in a bubbling envelope of heat expanded pastry layers."
This was intriguing enough to warrant the purchase of two of your pasties, and so imagine my surprise and then utter disappointment, when I discovered the following descriptive anomalies. The only bubble in evidence, relative to your 'bubbling envelope' was in fact my bubble of anticipation that had very quickly burst upon the unveiling of a pasty that was more reminiscent of a cold, soggy, floppy mess than that of the promised, 'heat expanded pastry layers'. I can only assume, or maybe hope, that your use of the word 'bubbling' by way of description of the pasty, is an attempt to be reflective of the supposed heat that the pasty should be exuding, rather than that of the liquid content, which I fear played a major role in turning both of these pasties into the unfortunate cold, soggy, floppy mess, that I described earlier.
I would also like to draw your attention to your descriptive use of the, 'strategically scooped' fillings. It has always been my belief that a strategy is something involving great skill and planning, and therefore 'strategically' is relating to that fact. I find it very hard to believe that it would be company policy to 'strategically' place your 'variety of delicious fillings', in and around the inside of your cardboard packaging, as well as 'strategically' oozing out of various design faults (holes) in it's surrounding 'envelope', resulting in a very sticky, messy and altogether unenjoyable culinary experience.
My belief is that this packaging may be dangerously close to contravening the 1978 amendment to the Trade Description Act.
The only reassurance I feel I can honestly take from this unwholesome dining incident, is that at least as I begin to head towards old age, there at least exists a food stuff in this world that does not require the possession of any teeth to enable consumption, and therefore prolong my survival.
Yours sincerely,
J****.
J**** *****
Ridiculous Packaging and Consumer Complaints Section"
He received the following reply:
"J****,
Thank you for your eloquent comments regarding our packaging of savouries.
Please accept my apologies that our product so obviously did not meet your expectations.
All of our savouries are freshly baked throughout the day in our shops and at the time of purchase they should still be "oven fresh" and ready to eat. I can only apologise again that on this occasion we failed.
I do take heart from your last paragraph regarding your comment "as I begin to head toward old age" that at least you saw some benefit (tongue in cheek though it may have been) from our product.
I do hope that you will try our products again and as a gesture of goodwill I have sent some Greggs vouchers to your work address for you attention.
Regards
Trevor"
Enclosed was 20 odd quid in vouchers.
) who didn't speak any English. Kept asking the woman what the cheese on toast was and she kept telling him it was pizza. He just kept looking at her confused 
