Need advice from primary school teachers/parents

[Miss-Shelf]

I am merely extended family, not a parent myself. I just found it quite shocking that a parent would take exception to supervising an under-10's homework, especially when it's reading that is something that can be sone together, hell even as a whole family. Maybe my expectations of people are too great

its great that extended family members take interest

the point i'm making is that parenting is full on and hard work and in some ways has to take its own form which may or may not co incide with school expectations

maybe parents want to read other things with children rather than school texts

I know growing up i got no homework at all at primary school and not that much in secondary school till my final year

 

[Thora]

My sister nearly lost all her hair thru stress at the increase in workload ....

Fucking hell, that's pretty extreme. There are more important things in life than homework.

 

[Homeless Mal]

its great that extended family members take interest

the point i'm making is that parenting is full on and hard work and in some ways has to take its own form which may or may not co incide with school expectations

maybe parents want to read other things with children rather than school texts

I know growing up i got no homework at all at primary school and not that much in secondary school till my final year

The point you are making is fair and reasonable, esp about reading things other than the school text. I suppose the overwhelmingly negative way in which the problem was presented coloured my responses. I think his parent is expecting way too much and trying to pass the buck.

 

[girasol]

Well, it's very difficult to understand people just from their posts but I was hoping for replies from teachers and parents who have been in similar situations. I need some advice and opinions as I'm not sure if I should talk to his teacher or the headmaster.

My memories of school are very fond and enjoyable, but I went to school in different countries, and I don't want the education system to take the joy out of learning from my son. Learning should be a good experience.

Just read your post Miss-Shelf, you seem to know where I'm coming from

 

[Sweaty Betty]

Fucking hell, that's pretty extreme. There are more important things in life than homework.

I know, she was academic without much effort was just devoid of the application bit as she had no homework at primary and mum was busy...

I suppose from her experience and bearing in mind my daughter is going to the same high school, ive adopted this idea that if i just at least get her to set aside a set time (20 mins) to do whatever-reading guitar- etc etc.. she will get used to applying her self and it wont be that much of a shock...

i dont have to prompt anymore i often hear her guitar tinkling or her on bbc worksheets rather than msn......maybe im lucky...

 

[poggy]

do you have children yourself ? Parents are doing there best - most of them most of the time
your neice might have found the work hard even with lots of homework

our children in the uk are too pressured by attainment as the marker of being decent human beings
team work and co operation and common sense and kindness go a long long way in most work places
and self esteem

I would advise all the poor black inner city kids in my family to get the best marks they can, and to complete all given home work

"team work and co operation and common sense and kindness go a long long way in most work places"

Won't get them a foot in the door

 

[sleaterkinney]

I agree, and he's not. We have set times for homework But I feel that he's now old enough (I feel this because I know him well) to take certain responsabilities - it's not up to me to make sure his work is in his school bag, it's up to him.

I don't agree, he's only nine. If he was a teenager I would agree.

 

[Miss-Shelf]

Well, it's very difficult to understand people just from their posts but I was hoping for replies from teachers and parents who have been in similar situations. I need some advice and opinions as I'm not sure if I should talk to his teacher or the headmaster.

My memories of school are very fond and enjoyable, but I went to school in different countries, and I don't want the education system to take the joy out of learning from my son. Learning should be a good experience.

you might not be able to change the teacher - you could make some boundaries around the situation for yourself and you son so that guild/irritation doesn't spoil things for you both

my sisters five year old gets homework thats inappropriate for him - she didn't want to put him off learning so she told the teacher she would do her best but wouldn't make him do it if he was uncomfortable. She also takes in other things he does as his homework. at least he feels backed up by his mum.

My b/f son also feels supported by his dad - they do their best - but they don't let it ruin their relationship. His dad will also support the school strongly if his son is in the wrong behaviour wise.

its courtesy to speak to the teacher before the head teacher IMO and experience.

go to the head only if you are treated impolitely or can't gain a resolution

 

[girasol]

Thank you, Miss-Shelf, you are the voice of reason I was hoping for.

And yes, I don't want any of this to cause tension in the family, and it did tonight.

 

[Sweaty Betty]

Thank you, Miss-Shelf, you are the voice of reason I was hoping for.

And yes, I don't want any of this to cause tension, and it did tonight.

I answered you from experience and as a mother..was i unreasonable

 

[girasol]

I answered you from experience and as a mother..was i unreasonable

Not at all... Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that Miss-Shelf was the only poster who offered useful advice.

 

[Sweaty Betty]

Not at all... Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that Miss-Shelf was the only poster who offered useful advice.

I was just about to say...IS IT COZ I IS A LEZBIAN

 

[Strumpet]

agreed, but the art of applying oneself at his age is learnt in the home i reckon and at his age it take a bit of hand holding to get them used to it.....

I think I agree. Minime is 9 in a month eek and she sits at the table to do hers (it's once a week which I think is reasonable). I am near but not actually with her but she nearly always calls on me to check her answers, explain something etc. She seems to need the reassurance.

Its not the work that is important per se, but the application and setting aside of times that is---only in readiness for the onslaught that is high school..

Yep that's prob. it.

its courtesy to speak to the teacher before the head teacher IMO and experience.
go to the head only if you are treated impolitely or can't gain a resolution

This


I don't agree with tons of homework either or some set things. I also think reading lots of diff. books and visiting places is a wonderful, important part of education.

 

[Kidda]

Iemanja, whats your sons take on it all?

 

[girasol]

Iemanja, whats your sons take on it all?

We had a little chat this morning and I told him I know he's doing his best and not to worry too much. He's starting not to like his teacher, I'm getting the impression that she contradicts herself a bit and might not be consistent.

There's some confusion going on. He said that before the weekend she told him this particular homework didn't need to be done, it was extra, and then she changed her mind. He seems to be getting confused by her instructions, basically. Now, I know him, and I now he's bright and follows intructions well as long as they are clear.

We had a nice cuddle before I left for work

 

[_angel_]

I don't remember being supervised doing homework by my parents. Although when we were that young the only homework we had to do was memorise spellings and times tables.

They don't need to pile as much on kids as they do, like Iemania I'd be worried about it ruining the child's love for learning.

 

[MightyAphrodite]

Its like he's your child or something

fuckin idiot!


your kid will never prosper if youre sitting there holding their hand through everything, thats how they LEARN, by having to be responsible at certain times and certain ages dumbass.


I wouldnt worry about the letter...id have a chat with him (i got a boy your boys age too and have had 1 or 2 letters even though hes top in his class...)

 

[girasol]

The point you are making is fair and reasonable, esp about reading things other than the school text. I suppose the overwhelmingly negative way in which the problem was presented coloured my responses. I think his parent is expecting way too much and trying to pass the buck.

My concerns could have been interpreted in many different ways but strangely enough you have chosen the most negative interpretation of all. This says a lot more about you than it does about me.

e2a: thanks trixiet

 

[Kidda]

We had a little chat this morning and I told him I know he's doing his best and not to worry too much.

thats all he needs to hear

It's good that you've got that communication there, as long as he feels he can talk to you when its all a bit too confusing or getting too much he'll be fine.

might not be best to try the cuddle method on the teacher though, she might just need talking with

 

[Miss-Shelf]

might not be best to try the cuddle method on the teacher though, she might just need talking with

teachers need hugs too!

i did once have a parent bend and touch my feet as a mark of respect

 

[Miss-Shelf]

I would advise all the poor black inner city kids in my family to get the best marks they can, and to complete all given home work

"team work and co operation and common sense and kindness go a long long way in most work places"

Won't get them a foot in the door

I accept that children need skills in order to make their way in the world and that some children might experience pressure to provide more for themselves if there is no extra in the family to cushion them

I also assert that skills are best learned in an atmosphere of curiosity, trust and empathy that fosters the desire for the lifelong learning we will all need in an uncertain job market

 

[Dhimmi]

It's give and take isn't it? We're now down to just the slug (11) at primary school and can't wait until it's all done and dusted to be honest.

We've often found his homework misguided, ill-placed or just wrong. We tend to get him to do something else, which is easiest with reading. Like to confuse them with the range of it too, so sometimes it's classics, or poetry by Browning or something properly decent rather than some of the simplistic stuff they throw at pupils now. The result is he ended up being marked down as gifted when it comes to reading, so difficult for them to complain.

For maths we've got him into the maths training prog on the Nintendo DS, keeps it simple, checkable and offers instant marking. None of the usual poring over a pile of simplistic sums and marking them at the end of a tiring day between trying to get dinner on and everything ready for tomorrow.

I remain surprised at how generally backward and low-tech really simple processes like homework still are in the UK. I've a Malay aunt who's now retired from teaching and she was always trying to get schemes going at her schools like they've had in Malaya and Singapore for decades. There it's very rare for pupils to be lugging pounds of books back and forth, typically their homework was done via an interactive teletext like service, and more recently the internet. For simple Q&A's, or maths this would even be graded automatically so all the results were sitting on the teachers desk as a print out the next morning.

 

[equationgirl]

I can simply not remember either of my parents supervising my homework, or my brothers' homework. We were expected to go and do our homework when we got in from school, and then when it was done we could watch TV.

If we got stuck, we asked for help and it was given, but my parents both had terrible experiences at school and both were determined to make learning something we wanted to do, rather than turn homework time into some kind of stressful battleground.

Consequently, we learnt to learn at our own speeds, to not be afraid to ask for help, and to try our best at whatever we did. There was no shouting or recriminations about the marks we obtained, as long as we had done our best, my parents were proud of what we achieved, whether it was an A or E, as was the spread of marks at A levels for the three of us.

I agree with Iemanja, at 9 her son shouldn't be getting anxious about going to school or homework, he should be enjoying be a kid. He obviously has an aptitude for learning, and if the teacher isn't making her instructions clear, he will be confused through no fault of his own.

 

[Cloo]

Is it common practice to do this? Don't teachers tell kids it's their responsability to do their homework?

Yes, I'm afraid this is common practice (not a parent or a teacher either) but now there's all sort sorts of 'parents signing a homework book' thing to 'prove' they're being responsible parents I'm not a parent (just yet!) or teacher, but I read a lot about it in my work.

Personally I think it sends out the wrong message - won't do a damn thing to make those who don't engage with their kids' education more involved and offends those who do engage in a more meaningful way than just 'making sure they do their homework' by patronising them.