name & shame shoddy food products

[killer b]

pestle and mortar? because of their oily nature theyre actually fairly easy to bash into submission

aye - my method would be to grind the pine nuts, basil and pecorino (though i normally use parmesan for convenience) separately in a pestle and mortar, then mix 'em all together with the oil & whatnot.

blenders tend to grind everything too fine - i likes it coarse.

i've yet to find a jarred pesto which tastes anything like the real stuff. or even edible for that matter...

 

[Dubversion]

I zuzz mine up using a food processor

jesus, you said 'zuzz'.


<strikes wolfie from christmas card list)

 

[Ms T]

You can get pecorino in Lidl these days -- I've got two types in my fridge at the moment.

 

[Wolfie]

jesus, you said 'zuzz'.


<strikes wolfie from christmas card list)

I'm allowed cos I'm posh

 

[tarannau]

Wolfie Yesterday

"One always has parmesan in one's fridge and pine nuts in the pantry"


Still, I'm largely with you. Even if the parmesan in our fridge often tends towards the over-green as well...

 

[shandy]

A big shout for one of the flagships of the "ASDA PUB MENU" Range, the 'Roast Chicken and Mushroom Topcrust Pie'.

I suppose the concept is that you've had enough dodgy pub food, specially pies, but it's never been that bad, cos you've always been pissed out your head in the boozer. And so a new ASDA range is born...

I could bore you with a run down of the ingredients, but you know they're shite already.

What I can add is that this fucker sticks to the tray in the oven and then when on the plate is just a big thick crust of fuck-all with a nothing gravy with a few indiscriminate meat chunks underneath. Yum yum, look out tum.

 

[Ms T]

My parmesan never goes green. Maybe I eat too much of the damn stuff so it never gets a chance!

 

[quamp1]

"Oh no, I guess I'm just going to have to go on Lord Snot's head." - Neil, the Young Ones. (Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

Seriously, we've got a whole slew of products here in the USA that are just plain dreadful. Getting good bangers and mash here is like trying to find a quality chili serano con carne in Europe. Pine nuts here are like biting into a rock.
There's a brand of fruit pies called Meletra made here in the USA which taste like lard (because they're mostly lard.) Then again, fruit pies in general are not good for you.
There are a bunch of pre-made meals that are truly awful too.
The Brussels sprouts around here taste like they've been soaking in 18 molar nitric acid for 100 years.

 

[sheothebudworths]

I'm sure that's only cos you just used the last of it to make fresh pesto sheo ...

Don't be silly Wolfie - I got a takeaway.

 

[Maggot]

Bodrum Salted sunflower seeds

Bought these recently as it appeared to be a cheap and healthy snack. How wrong i was. The seeds have no flavour (apart from the salt), they take ages to chew and are like eating wood. Stay away.

I hardly ever throw food away, but these went in the bin after a few mouthfuls.

 

[nightowl]

pukka pies - all pastry, bugger all filling

 

[longdog]

Pukka Pies are an institution and the staple diet of drunks this fine country over.

 

[oryx]

Greggs vegetable (sic) pasties. I bought one thinking it was 'healthier' than a sausage roll or Cornish pasty. The vegtables consisted of mashed potato with far too much white pepper.

Serves me right for thinkng that the words 'Greggs' and 'healthy' belong in the same sentence.

 

[nightowl]

Pukka Pies are an institution and the staple diet of drunks this fine country over.

pukka pies...they compromise

i'll stick with the kebabs

 

[tarannau]

And whilst we're bumping:

Sainsbury's 'Taste The Difference Pork' chops, apparently proudly 'basted for added succulence'

What they actually mean is that they've injected some glucose-tinged water into the meat. Meaning that when you stick the chops on your blazing hot griddle pan, some grey watery shite leaks out, bringing the heat of your pan down and generally fucking up your cooking.

Yeah, so I know supermarket meat is rubbish. But you'd expect a little better from their 'Taste The Difference' - higher prices, same crappy quality. Get to your local butcher...

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Because I don't usually have pine nuts and pecorino in my kitchen.

Also a bit of a challenge if you don't have a massive basil plant and the supermarket's run out as well

 

[pootle]

and as someone else has said, pesto is so easy to make yourself why but ready made stuff?

Recipe please! (I know I could google but I'm lazy, and would like a recipes urbanites know is fool proof)

Inspired by Pie Face, I'm actually going to start cooking again I think!

 

[elevendayempire]

Not my own choice, but this belongs in here. Tremble before it.

SG

 

[maximilian ping]

richmond sausages - turn into an egyptian mummie's cock when you cook them


ps. pukka pies are brilliant, loads of filling, much better than peters pies
pps. i love greggs veg pasties

 

[i_hate_beckham]

The Brussels sprouts around here taste like they've been soaking in 18 molar nitric acid for 100 years.

Just like every Brussel sprout thats ever been grown then.

 

[rubbershoes]

just remembereed from years ago..

Power Rangers Power Fizz

Power Jizz, more like

It tasted as bad as you'd expect

 

[elevendayempire]

While on the subject of making posh pesto, try chucking a walnut or two in with the pine nuts. Does wonders for the flavour.

SG

 

[Maggot]

St Ivel Gold Margarine.

I bought this instead of my usual marge as it was on BOGOF. What a mistake, it doen't taste good, and doesn't melt properly on toast. Stay away.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

All margerine is evil!!!!! None of it tastes good.
Eat butter - it's far far nicer and contains no shite

 

[KeyboardJockey]

All margerine is evil!!!!! None of it tastes good.
Eat butter - it's far far nicer and contains no shite

It's far far more healthy to eat butter. Why eat some foul tasting muck that is basically veg oil mixed with hydrogen and nickel. I've tasted better gearbox oil.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

It's far far more healthy to eat butter. Why eat some foul tasting muck that is basically veg oil mixed with hydrogen and nickel. I've tasted better gearbox oil.

A food scientist once told me that margerine is a sort of hideous insipid grey colour when it's made and has to be dyed buttery colour....... mmmm....I'll have a huge dollop of that on my jacket potato please!

 

[MysteryGuest]

All margerine is evil!!!!! None of it tastes good.
Eat butter - it's far far nicer and contains no shite

w0rd


The amount of fat in butter isn't worth worrying about imo anyway. And butter is soooo lullervy.

 

[ScallyWag II]

I've tasted better gearbox oil.

what on earth are you doing eating gearbox oil???

i had an email recently about the horrors of marg...nasty stuff according to that, to be avoided

 

[KeyboardJockey]

what on earth are you doing eating gearbox oil???

i had an email recently about the horrors of marg...nasty stuff according to that, to be avoided

I had some splash in my mouth when I was filling up one of my gearboxes.

 

[Maggot]

It's far far more healthy to eat butter. Why eat some foul tasting muck that is basically veg oil mixed with hydrogen and nickel. I've tasted better gearbox oil.

The marge I buy (when not trying St Ivel Gold) is made with Olive oil, tastes quite good, spreads straight from the fridge and is only 60% fat.

I do buy butter, but tend to use it only for cooking.