My Boyfriend The Sex Tourist

[oddworld]

What channel was this on please?

 

[Meltingpot]

Plenty of western women on hols in Thailand and Indonesia often acquire a local bf for the duration of the trip. The dynamics of the two situations we're talking about here are quite different though, imo.

How?

 

[Meltingpot]

So a sex life isnt essential in your opinion? What about other less measurable factors that have an effect on health, especially mental health, what about human contact at all, if you were well fed but kept in solitary confinment how long could you last 1 year 2, 3....? Life isn't just about recieving the correct diet.

I know, but being celibate isn't as bad as being in solitary confinement.

 

[Fuchs66]

I know, but being celibate isn't as bad as being in solitary confinement.

but human contact is one of those things you cant put a value on but is essential to a healthy life, wont kill you to be in solitary but it wont do you a lot of good will it?

 

[purves grundy]

How?

For much of the time it's the men chasing the women, a-wooing them with Bob Marley renditions on out of tune guitars. The men aren't prostitutes in any real sense of the word, they're just after something exotic and free (like the females.) The only comparable element is that it's two people from different sides of the world getting together.

 

[jæd]

The one who turned down the client was punished by being sacked, from the look of things without her money too.

She also wasn't paying attention in briefings, wasn't being attentative, etc... Remember the documentary is cut to tell a story, and you don't see everything...

The women who complained that the customer had warts and was basically ignored and told to get on with it was abused.

And...? She had the option to walk away. And at least one point another girl does when the client goes to far...

If you look at their site's FAQ section it tells customers not to just assume that all girls will have unprotected sex, anal sex etc. Implying that some of them do.

"Implying" is just one way to read it. It could also "imply"

You should read the FAQ it really is something.

Seems quite straight-forward to me...

For example, it says that all the girls are tested for STIs when they start working and get a little certificate to prove it that the customers can see if they want to. Great eh? A certificate stating that you don't have any STIs is a lot of use when you're having to have possibly unprotected sex with several different men a week, including men who the owners of the place know have STIs that transmissible even with condom use.

As far as I'm aware this is standard practise in this industry...

 

[Fuchs66]

For much of the time it's the men chasing the women, a-wooing them with Bob Marley renditions on out of tune guitars. The men aren't prostitutes in any real sense of the word, they're just after something exotic and free (like the females.) The only comparable element is that it's two people from different sides of the world getting together.

Its only a case of they know that that's the best way of getting punters, if they take money then it is prostitution, it may not be on the same scale but I see no real difference apart from details.

 

[girasol]

As far as I'm aware this is standard practise in this industry...

Just because it's 'standard' it doesn't make it acceptable. It was very depressing watching the warts bit and the sacking bit, it really brought home that all that crap about 'protecting the girls' was nothing more than a load of bollocks. They were only saying that for the cameras - the girls were treated almost like slaves.

 

[goldenecitrone]

For much of the time it's the men chasing the women, a-wooing them with Bob Marley renditions on out of tune guitars. The men aren't prostitutes in any real sense of the word, they're just after something exotic and free (like the females.) The only comparable element is that it's two people from different sides of the world getting together.

In Egypt the women were paying for everything and buying their 'boyfriends' some quite expensive gifts. I was in a restaurant with an Egyptian mate and I started talking to a Dutch woman on the next table. After a while my Egyptian mate warned me that the blokes she was with were getting very pissed off with my unwanted presence as it was ruining their meal ticket. I was quite taken aback, it was like they thought they owned her for the evening. Very weird scene.

 

[Giles]

All that these people (male and female) are doing is "sexual arbitrage".

Arbitrage involves spotting the difference in the value of a product between one market and another.

Someone from a rich country but who feels that they don't have much overall attractiveness in that country figures out that they are worth considerably more in another country.

 

[Dovydaitis]

i found it quite an intersting programme

 

[trashpony]

but you'd prefer it if you did, how long has it been so far and how long would you go on, dont forget either whether we like it or not men and women have totally different attitudes to sex.

I don't really want to discuss my circumstances further tbh but, as you rightly say, it's about attitudes. None of us actually 'need' sex - which is what you seemed to be implying earlier. I've not seen any monks expiring from lack of shagging. Have you?

It's an excuse to justify some reprehensible behaviour. Can't afford a prostitute at home? Go abroad and buy yourself a cheap one then. Jesus wept. And it's no better if women do it than men (although men usually have more economic options than women)

 

[jæd]

Just because it's 'standard' it doesn't make it acceptable.

And who is to say what is acceptable and what isn't...?

They were only saying that for the cameras - the girls were treated almost like slaves.

Well... It depends on what kind of slave you're thinking of. Eg, Roman slaves were very well treated...

(I'm actually finding people's reaction more interesting than the programme itself...)

 

[zoltan]

TBH

Not being crass/ offhand, but the conditions in the establishment used for the documantary last night seemed "OK" - all things considered - we have a virtual slave trade of trafficked women working here in the UK that put the [place featured in last nights doc. into perspective

caveat - this does not mean I condone or approve of what goes on in these places

 

[Fuchs66]

I don't really want to discuss my circumstances further tbh but, as you rightly say, it's about attitudes. None of us actually 'need' sex - which is what you seemed to be implying earlier. I've not seen any monks expiring from lack of shagging. Have you?

No but there have been plenty of catholic priests that have experienced problems that have usually led to child abuse, or do you think celibacy didn't play a role. I never said you would die, but for most people it helps towards a healthy life.

It's an excuse to justify some reprehensible behaviour. Can't afford a prostitute at home? Go abroad and buy yourself a cheap one then. Jesus wept. And it's no better if women do it than men (although men usually have more economic options than women)

Do you really believe it is cheaper to jet off half way round the world than pick up a prostitute at home, this is not merely financially driven. Why is it more reprehensible to have sex with a foreign prostitute than one at home?

 

[Louloubelle]

She also wasn't paying attention in briefings, wasn't being attentative, etc... Remember the documentary is cut to tell a story, and you don't see everything...

Of course you don't see everything but you saw enough to know that the women were being abused by the owners and management. That poor woman was at the end of her tether. "She also wasn't paying attention in briefings, wasn't being attentative, etc" Are you for real?! She was incredibly stressed, couldn't take it anymore and got sacked.

And...? She had the option to walk away. And at least one point another girl does when the client goes to far...

and risk getting sacked. I don't think you've quite got the hang of how this all works. It's reminding me of your IMO very peculiar views about Jonathan King's conviction for child abuse, which was (IMMIC - please correct me if I'm wrong) that the boys had exploited King, not the other way round and that you see underage teenage boys abusing innocent adults all the time in the music industry.

We might have to just accept that your criteria for what is and is not abusive is a million miles away from mine.

As far as I'm aware this is standard practise in this industry...

You are wrong. While it is usual for women to have regular health checks it is also usual for the woman to examine the man prior to any sexual contact, just to make sure he has no visible signs of an STI. If a man had signs or symptoms of an STI then he would not be able to enjoy the hospitality of the house on that occasion. This is just good business sense as well as good practice re sexual health. For a women to express concern that a client is a health risk and for her concerns to be dismissed is terrible business practice as well as a major risk to public health.

 

[Fuchs66]

TBH it sounds that the establishment was run by arseholes, there are bad employers in every type of business that doesn't mean the business in itself is necessarily bad.

 

[Louloubelle]

thank link to their FAQs again

http://www.totalsatisfactionadultholidays.co.uk/faq.html

relevant section here, emphasis mine

Q. Will the girls really do anything I want in terms of sex?

A. If you expect a non-stop orgy with sex-crazed nymphomaniac porn stars then go elsewhere.
The girls will provide a full girl-friend experience, including sex, but there are limits to what they will do.
These are NOT prostitutes, but ordinary girls who need to make some extra money.
Some girls may be willing to go that bit further than others; this is something you need to enquire about discreetly and politely when choosing a girl.
We provide Total Satisfaction, not total perversion.

Q. What happens if the girl doesn't want to do something, such as anal sex or performing oral sex without a condom?

A. Each girl has her own limits and these must be respected. Some girls will provide these services, some won't. If you are unhappy with the service the girl gives, please talk with the management.
If we feel that your request is reasonable then we will consider replacing the girl.
If, on the other hand, what you want is totally unreasonable then you will be told so.
Please remember that oral sex without a condom is almost as risky as unprotected vaginal sex.

Q. Are the girls medically checked to ensure they don't have any sexually transmitted diseases?

A. Yes, all the girls have a medical checkup before they start to work for us. Medical certificates are available for inspection in the resort office.

Q. If I have two girls, will they put on a lesbian show for me?

A. As noted above, these girls are not prostitutes or porn stars. Each of them has their own limits and preferences. If you choose to have two girls and want this then we advise you talk it over with Ana or anyone else in the management team and we will do our best to ensure your Total Satisfaction.

Q. What if a girl asks me for money directly for providing "extra" sexual services?

A. If a girl asks you directly for money, especially if it is for providing certain sexual services, please tell the management at once. The girls are not allowed to do this and it will result in them being dismissed.

Q. What about condoms and sex toys for the girls?

A. Bring as many condoms as you think you will need, then double the quantity. It is far better to have some left over than to find yourself without at a crucial moment in the middle of the night. Many of our girls are happy, indeed eager, to play with sex toys. Just make sure that they are clean and sterile and that you bring plenty of water-based lubricants.


Q. What about Viagra or Cialis? Can I get them on the Island?

A. You can get both Viagra and Cialis at most pharmacies on the island, cost is about US$5 per pill. Ask Frank, our regular driver, or any of the management team to recommend a pharmacy.

 

[jæd]

Of course you don't see everything but you saw enough to know that the women were being abused by the owners and management. That poor woman was at the end of her tether. "She also wasn't paying attention in briefings, wasn't being attentative, etc" Are you for real?! She was incredibly stressed, couldn't take it anymore and got sacked.

Yep...? I saw it as soneone who wanted to make money for Uni fast, got in over her head, didn't like it and was thinking of leaving anyway...

I don't think you've quite got the hang of how this all works. It's reminding me of your IMO very peculiar views about Jonathan King's conviction for child abuse, which was (IMMIC - please correct me if I'm wrong) that the boys had exploited King, not the other way round and that you underage teenage boys abusing innocent adults all the time in the music industry.

And what on earth does that have to do with anything...?

We might have to just accept that your criteria for what is and is not abusive is a million miles away from mine.

Obviously.... The girls knew what was going on and go into through their own free-will. If they wanted to stop then they were free to leave.

Obviously there may of been other things that we didn't see, but like I said, its a complex subject that an hour doc can't attempt to cover fully...

 

[zoltan]

a pair of us once sat up all night drinking in a kaliningrad hotel bar

the women hanging around the place paid us lots of attention at the start, but by about 2 AM realised that we were not likely to take up their offers of services, so they joined us to while away the hours between clients and we shared a load of beers.

These were independants and were very open about their jobs - they made Euro 100 a go with the Non Russians who used the hotel - they could do up to 10+ a night - their gross monthly was much more than my gross monthly income in the UK - and considering the poverty in this Soveit backwater, this is a truly staggering amount of cash to rake in each month.

Given the choice between earning EUR 10 a day in a shop or EUR 500 as a prostitute made complete sense to them- a no brainer - it was a business and thats it.

its interesting to see it from their side

 

[Meltingpot]

but human contact is one of those things you cant put a value on but is essential to a healthy life, wont kill you to be in solitary but it wont do you a lot of good will it?

You can go mad in solitary confinement, but not having a shag won't drive you mad. I know, this is where I open my argument up to criticism from people saying, "Oh yes it can"!! and I'm not going to argue....

 

[Meltingpot]

For much of the time it's the men chasing the women, a-wooing them with Bob Marley renditions on out of tune guitars. The men aren't prostitutes in any real sense of the word, they're just after something exotic and free (like the females.) The only comparable element is that it's two people from different sides of the world getting together.

Fair enough.

 

[Edie]

What kind of person pays for sex with vulnerable poor young women? A total fucking arsehole. End of.

 

[WombleGCS15]

That's a good point. We in the UK have created a kind of sexual Thatcherism

Shudders

 

[Fuchs66]

What kind of person pays for sex with vulnerable poor young women? A total fucking arsehole. End of.

Its a part of life with many shades of grey eg where does prostitution end and a marriage with, shall we say financial interests, begin. Sex has been used to achieve many things over the years and to reduce the sex trade to that one sentence is over simplification done to a tee.

 

[Meltingpot]

Its a part of life with many shades of grey eg where does prostitution end and a marriage with, shall we say financial interests, begin. Sex has been used to achieve many things over the years and to reduce the sex trade to that one sentence is over simplification done to a tee.

I agree, the difference is that whereas a prostitute has to provide the services her client has paid for or else refund his money, rape within marriage is (rightly) illegal now. So, a woman can marry a rich man, refuse to sleep with him and walk away with a big divorce settlement (it happened to a lottery winner down our way recently). I ended up feeling sorry for him, he seemed like a nice bloke.

 

[Edie]

Its a part of life with many shades of grey eg where does prostitution end and a marriage with, shall we say financial interests, begin. Sex has been used to achieve many things over the years and to reduce the sex trade to that one sentence is over simplification done to a tee.

I don't really care what you justify with your 'shades of grey'. Women who choose to get married to a man just for his money make their choice. The choices of women living in abject poverty are very limited. That rich western men take advantage of this is sickening.

 

[Fuchs66]

I don't really care what you justify with your 'shades of grey'. Women who choose to get married to a man just for his money make their choice. The choices of women living in abject poverty are very limited. That rich western men take advantage of this is sickening.

I dont justify anything, I am just stating a fact of life, if you are so blinkered that you only see the extremes then I suggest calming down and looking at the subject more objectively.
What about the women living in abject poverty who are paid for sex by men from the same country living in similar conditions for example?

 

[Fuchs66]

I agree, the difference is that whereas a prostitute has to provide the services her client has paid for or else refund his money, rape within marriage is (rightly) illegal now. So, a woman can marry a rich man, refuse to sleep with him and walk away with a big divorce settlement (it happened to a lottery winner down our way recently). I ended up feeling sorry for him, he seemed like a nice bloke.

It, of course depends upon the legal system in place I know here that prostitutes have been done for breach of contract and punters have been done for rape.

 

[rhod]

If Chavez is serious about wanting to improve the lot of the most oppressed and most exploited in his country, he should launch a national initiative to sort this type of shit out and assist it's workers into a viable alternative.

I think the programme makers were made sure that this inconsistency was hinted at, albeit maybe too subtly. There was a shot of a fuzzy portable TV with Chavez giving one of his regular TV pep-talks, and I'm sure the viewer was meant to think "Hang on, why are women being forced into this sort of work to pay for education or medical fees in a Socialist utopia"?

Of course, the real reasons that the women did this sort of work may have been different from the reasons that they stated on camera.