Musician Jokes please

[8ball]

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb.

Six, one to change it and five to stand around pointing, saying 'I can do that'.

 

[Daniel]

Erm..

How do you hurt Lady Gaga?



Pok 'er Face



Noones laughed at that yet though =\

 

[ericjarvis]

The great explorer is lost in the deep rainforest. Alone with no supplies he wanders for hours until he hears some drumming in the distance. He starts staggering towards it. After a few minutes he hears a voice shout "The drumming must never stop".

He continues towards the distant sounds, the drums, and every few minutes the voice shouting "The drumming must never stop". Eventually he reaches a large clearing. Here a previously unknown tribe are having some sort of celebration. The villagers are feasting, dancing, making music, and every few minutes the chief stands and shouts "The drumming must never stop".

They help the explorer to a place by the food. They present him with food, drink, and the chief welcomes him to the tribe. The girls of the village dance for him, the men sing and drum, and every so often the chief stands and yells "The drumming must never stop".

The explorer is curious. "Why" he asks the chief "must the drumming never stop? Is it a religious belief? Will the world end or the sun not rise if the drumming ceases?" "No" the chief explains "drumming stop, bass solo start."

 

[Chuff]

 

[Silva]

Not quite a "musicians joke", but yesterday I was writing about one not able to "polish a turd", but still can "stick it a couple of feathers and call it Brandon Flowers".

Thank fuck nobody reads my blog, or else my attempt to break into music hackism would be doomed already

 

[ericjarvis]

What is the difference between a baritone saxophone and a spittoon?

If you turn the spittoon upside down and hit it with a stick you can get quite a musical sound from it.

 

[kabbes]

What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?

Not many orchestra players have had a go in a Porsche.