Most useless kitchen appliance

[WouldBe]

I'm looking for a cherry stoner for when I get my first cherries off my tree.

Can't find one for stoning plums though.


I've got a potato ricer I was going to use for pulping fruit that been sitting in my draw for ages and I've not used it yet.

 

[Private Storm]

How about using a fork.

Which I do. Well, two of them.

 

[Epona]

Electric tin opener. Lazymans waste device. Use some elbow grease ffs, how hard is it to operate a manual tin-opener?

Virtually impossible with even mild arthritis, thank you very much. I want a powered one. And a jar opener.

 

[DotCommunist]

Virtually impossible with even mild arthritis, thank you very much. I want a powered one. And a jar opener.

I'll give a free pass to those with psychical impairment/issues (how magnanimous of me), but anyone in full health who uses one is a lazyman.

Plus it brings cats one step closer to being able to open the tins of tuna, and when that day comes they will abandon mankind. Doesn't bother me, dogs rool. But I bet it'd make other people (trotskyites) cry.

 

[moose]

I'm looking for a cherry stoner for when I get my first cherries off my tree.

My olive stoner also does cherries It's also a garlic press. Now there's a useful kitchen tool.

I have a juicer gathering dust - used for a couple of weeks in January 2004, then never touched since.

 

[wayward bob]

my brother got me one of these

 

[berniedicters]

We had one of those when I was a kid!

Your mum must have bought the other one, then

 

[berniedicters]

my brother got me one of these

...and it does what..?

*mildly intrigued*

 

[Ceej]

I have a tool to chop the ends off asparagus.....and twelve mother-of-pearl handled fruit knives. No doubt for use by me and my 11 guests who will simultaneously be eating fruit to cleanse their palates after their asparagus.

 

[gentlegreen]

Hands up who has a breadmaker only used once?

some people even prefer Tesco Value white sliced ....

Kettle - toaster - microwave - breadmaker ..

Some days I would place the breadmaker second in terms of usefulness.

 

[gentlegreen]

I have a tool to chop the ends off asparagus.....and twelve mother-of-pearl handled fruit knives. No doubt for use by me and my 11 guests who will simultaneously be eating fruit to cleanse their palates after their asparagus.

Now an asparagus evaluator would be handy - something that shows how far up the stem it's too woody to eat before you buy it.

 

[wayward bob]

Now an asparagus evaluator would be handy - something that shows how far up the stem it's too woody to eat before you buy it.

snap it (if you can without being spotted )

i want mother-of-pearl handled fruit knives goddamnit

the tall thing is a top-chopper-offer thingy for boiled eggs. you sit it on top of the egg, lift the ball up to the top of the stalk and drop it, thus neatly decapitating your egg. only it doesn't work, it just smushes them up perhaps i need mother-of-pearl handled egg spoons...

 

[geminisnake]

Electric tin opener. Lazymans waste device. Use some elbow grease ffs, how hard is it to operate a manual tin-opener?

Damn near impossible if you are elderly or have arthritis or any other grip problem. When was the last time you saw a real tin opener that didn't leave you with a nasty edge??

I genuinely don't know where I will get a 'proper' tin opener now Woolies is gone

Pizza cutters. WTF?? Why not use scissors?? I have never managed to use a pizza cutter properly.

 

[wayward bob]

lol @pizza scissors

 

[geminisnake]

Plus it brings cats one step closer to being able to open the tins of tuna, and when that day comes they will abandon mankind.

Jusr read this out to hubby and he's telling me about a friend's siamese who can open his own sachets(and would leave them everywhere), so they went into a bread bin, he worked that out too. They are now kept in a material zipped bag. He's working on that

 

[geminisnake]

lol @pizza scissors

Nah, they're just normal scissors, they get boiling water poured over them before cutting the pizza, we're not total slobs.

 

[berniedicters]

lol @pizza scissors

As you wish.

 

[gentlegreen]

Damn near impossible if you are elderly or have arthritis or any other grip problem. When was the last time you saw a real tin opener that didn't leave you with a nasty edge??

I genuinely don't know where I will get a 'proper' tin opener now Woolies is gone

I hate with a vengeance the ones that cut around the sides instead of the top - I can't see myself ever buying an electric one for that reason.

You want a Brabantia or "Good Grips" - any good supermarket will have them.

 

[Hocus Eye.]

I've been cutting pizza with kitchen scissors for years. I have a pair with part of the blade nearest to the handle curved for cutting harder things which is ideal for the crust.

I had never seen pizza scissors until I saw the post above. I will not be rushing out to buy them though as I am already suited. I have one of those pizza roller slice things but it isn't as good or quick as scissors.

I sometimes cut sandwiches in half using scissors. It helps to prevent the contents popping out as they do when using a knife.

I have a lot of kitchen gadgets as I like them. I have an egg topper which works like the iris of a camera lens. It works. I use it.

 

[geminisnake]

I just googled them gg. How much?? 50p from Woolies my last ones cost. Thank F I have several(they're one of those thing that disappear and reappear in this house )
Don't like the Good Grips ones, and not convinced about the brabantia ones either though they do have a 'cheap' pair at £4!!

 

[gentlegreen]

50p from Woolies my last ones cost.

But how long did they last ?

(can openers)

 

[Geri]

Virtually impossible with even mild arthritis, thank you very much. I want a powered one. And a jar opener.

I don't have arthritis, but I have a mild wrist injury at the moment and pretty poor grip strength generally, so I find it very difficult opening tins with a manual tin opener (and sometimes nigh on impossible).

I've got one of these, and it's brilliant:

 

[gentlegreen]

But do they make an electric one that doesn't turn a can into a cylindrical knife ?

 

[Geri]

But do they make an electric one that doesn't turn a can into a cylindrical knife ?

No idea, I haven't tried all of them.

 

[Pip]

I'm looking for a cherry stoner for when I get my first cherries off my tree.

A half opened out paperclip works very well.

I have a tool to chop the ends off asparagus.....and twelve mother-of-pearl handled fruit knives. No doubt for use by me and my 11 guests who will simultaneously be eating fruit to cleanse their palates after their asparagus.

I've got mother of pearl tea spoons, it feels nice when your life's quite mundane to use them.

I've got silver teapots for the same reason. I'm not even joking

 

[geminisnake]

But how long did they last ?

(can openers)

Well I'm still using them(there are a few) and all bar one still works, that's the oldest(yrs old)

I was given one of those electric ones but gave it to my granny coz I didn't like it.

 

[Y_I_Otter]

I've had a breadmaker since the eighties and although I have to admit I have used it more than once (it came with three pouches of something called 'bread mix') it's lived in the back of the pantry more or less since it was given to me. It makes round loaves (!) and it's a pain in the arse to clean.

From sometime in October until mid-May the cookstove's oven is constantly at 350F, since we also use it for heat, and I'm not so old and infirm that I can't knead my own dough (and make four or more loaves at a time, which breadmakers can't). If they come up with one that can braid challah, I'll give one another try.

 

[WouldBe]

I'm not so old and infirm that I can't knead my own dough (and make four or more loaves at a time, which breadmakers can't).

You use your feet as well as your hands.

 

[gentlegreen]

and it's a pain in the arse to clean..

You clean it ?

They're non-stick..

Anyway how would you know ? - you've never used it.

 

[Termite Man]

Someone must have said the useless piece of shit that is the Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker