Most amusing football chants?

[HobgoblinMan]

"Your going home in a Nissan Micra!!!"

"AFC, AFC, all the rest are cunts."

Both AFC Wimbledon.

 

[Clint Iguana]

once heard outside the chill out room ot a party..

"your going home in a fucking ambiance"

 

[Dandred]

Park, Park
Wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your country !



Here in Korea they went ape shit about this.

 

[grubby local]

Aye, aye, aye, aye
Ferguson's riddled with herpes,
Martin Edwards has got Aids,
And so has that TWAT Matt Busby.

Nice.

gx

 

[revol68]

Who's that coming over Brazil!

 

[Fedayn]

Who's that coming over your bird
Is it a gangster, is it a gangster.

 

[marksims68]

I am an Ipswich fan
I am an east anglian
Dont know what I want but I know how to get it
I wanna destroy yellow and green
Cos I wanna be
I T F C!!!

 

[Spion]

One from the 70s - fans used to chant "Attack! Attack! . . . Attack! Attack! Attack!" At Liverpool one day a cat got on the pitch, so the chant started up "A cat! A cat! . . . etc"

Heard from Brentford fans playing Chester at Griffin Park - "You're Welsh and you know you are"

 

[fen_boy]

Your father is your brother,
Your sister is your mother,
You like to f**k each other,
The Ipswich family...

 

[Relahni]

Don't blame it on Biscan,
don't blame it on Finann,
don't blame it on Haman,
blame it on Traore.
He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet

 

[Relahni]

Gary Neville shags his ma
shags his ma
shags his ma
Gary Neville shags his ma
up the shitter*

*Ideal for Guardian journalists to write a shite article about chants.

 

[holteman]

not at all amusing but the worse one, which my mate tried to sing in a pub when pissed *palm face*

starts off..

"whos that laying on the runway......"

i'm sure you have all head it.. im not repeating it anywhere... i coud have throttled my mate


villa worse one has to be

"tracy andrews is out friend, is our friend, Tracy andrews is our friends. she kills noses... let her out to kill some more, kill some more. kill some more... let her out to kill some more, tracy andrews....."

occasionally sung at away games

 

[holteman]

oh and i do like

"Luke Young
Luke young
he's got a younger brother and his name is Ashley Young
Ashley young
Ashley young
he's got an older brother and his name is luke Young
Luke Young
Luke Young
he's got a younger brother and his name is ashley Young
AShley young
Ashley young....."


repeat till insanity

 

[revol68]

Gary Neville shags his ma
shags his ma
shags his ma
Gary Neville shags his ma
up the shitter*

*Ideal for Guardian journalists to write a shite article about chants.

This vile chant etc etc

The fucking hand wringing in the comments section was hilarious, people treating the chant like it was a serious allegation.

 

[Relahni]

self defence you're having a laff

 

[Rollem]

Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus looked up and he said ...
Fuck off, Preston!
Fuck off, Preston!

Your father is your mother,
Your sister is your brother,
You like to f**k each other,
The Ipswich family...

"take your shoes off
take your shoes off
take your shoes off for the lads...
take your shoes off for the lads"

<cue the geordies holding up their shoes>

 

[fen_boy]

Just realised I got that Addams Family one wrong, have edited so it makes sense now.

 

[zog]

He's black, he's mean
he robs the fruit machine
Nathan Blake
Nathan Blake

You look in the dustbin for something to eat
You find a dead rat and you think its a treat
In the Swansea Slums

 

[FATBOY1990]

Park, Park
Wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your country !

They carried it on...

It could be worse
You could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house

-----

You p*ss in the shower
You sh*t in the bath
You finger your nan cos you think it's a laugh
In your northern slums

Your mum's on the game
And your dad's in the nick
You can't get a job cos you're so f*cking thick
In your northerm slums

-----

Let's all have a disco, let's all have a disco, la la la la...

-----

Let's go f*cking mental, let's go f*cking mental, la la la la...

-----

You all live in a Burberry caravan...

-----

I could list more, but I think that'll do for now.

 

[Relahni]

Fatboy1990

That reminds me of "he's gonna cry in a minute, cry in a minute".

 

[Refused as fuck]

"take your shoes off
take your shoes off
take your shoes off for the lads...
take your shoes off for the lads"

<cue the geordies holding up their shoes>

Shoes off if you hate the mackems, usually.

 

[fen_boy]

Here's a nominee for the cheesiest:

There is no place like Nebraska,
Dear old Nebraska U.
Where the girls are the fairest,
The boys are the squarest,
Of any old school that I knew.
There is no place like Nebraska,
Where they're all true blue.
We'll all stick together,
In all kinds of weather,
For dear old Nebraska U

All American sports songs are rubbish.

 

[Balbi]

The Glen Johnson one tickles me.

Only oooooooone Glen Johnson,
One Glen Johnson,
With a toilet seat from B&Q,
Johnson is the England number 2.....

I watched Sol and Distin rip the piss out of him when it got aired at Fratton Park.

 

[og ogilby]

From the 70's at Deepdale.

He's shot, he's missed, he must be fuckin pissed

Tommy Doc. Tommy Doc.

He's shot, he's come, all over Marys bum

Tommy Doc. Tommy Doc.

 

[badseed]

Funniest one I ever heard at Middlesbrough

e's a cunt
e's a cunt
The referees a cunt

To the tune of Ebeneezer Goode

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Funniest one I ever heard at Middlesbrough

e's a cunt
e's a cunt
The referees a cunt

To the tune of Ebeneezer Goode

 

[fen_boy]

We played Walsall at the weekend and I'd forgotten

'You're just a small town in Poland, small town in Pooo-laaaand."

They must be sick of that.

 

[Corax]

"Your going home in a Nissan Micra!!!"

"AFC, AFC, all the rest are cunts."

Both AFC Wimbledon.

When AFC fullback and So Solid member MC Harvey, up on firearms charges at the time, was fouled by an opposition player...

Harvey's gonna shoot ya, Harvey's gonna shoot ya


Grudging respect to the gooner fans for this one too:

He's blonde, he's quick
His name's a porno flick
Emmanuel, Emmanuel...

 

[Badger Kitten]

I am an Ipswich fan
I am an east anglian
Dont know what I want but I know how to get it
I wanna destroy yellow and green
Cos I wanna be
I T F C!!!

You can't read
And you can't write
But that don't even matter
You've come down
From fucking Ipswich
Driving in your tractor

 

[N_igma]

Yer ma's a goat.