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Miserable Gits Thread

Discussion in 'Wintervaltide - Xmas and Year Review 2011' started by Minnie_the_Minx, Dec 1, 2011.

  1. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

    This is a thread just for the miserable gits on the Christmas forum who despite hating Christmas, feel the need to still come on here and tell us what they hate about it.

    Moan away people :D
    pigtails, Voley and Ranbay like this.
  2. editor

    editor Taffus Maximus

    Name and shame or STFU.
  3. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

  4. ddraig

    ddraig dros ben llestri

  5. Voley

    Voley The Prebendary Of Wetwang

    I'm not doing cards presents eating a turkey or drinking too much this year.

    A Merry Christmas to you all.
  6. girasol

    girasol visual spaceship pilot

    I hate Christmas (the bad side of it) but I also like it, so I feel I should at least say hello...
  7. Voley

    Voley The Prebendary Of Wetwang

    This should have been called the Bah Humbug thread. I'm going to have a right good moan about that if you don't mind, minnie.
  8. lizzieloo

    lizzieloo Numpty extraordinaire

    I do love Christmas but hate, hate, hate all the forced bullshit. I so want Christmas on my terms, it won't be happening for the foreseeable :(
    Me76 likes this.
  9. Me76

    Me76 Not very good lurker

    This is exactly how I am.

    While I'm at work with carols on the fucking stairs and whole company pass the parcel and people trying to force me to join in stuff and have 'FUN!' I hate it.

    When I am at home with my bloke and we go to the pub when we want and sit on the sofa doing nothing when we want then I love it.
    ddraig, claphamboy and Voley like this.
  10. Voley

    Voley The Prebendary Of Wetwang

    Carols on the stairs at work is the worst forced jollity thing I've ever heard of, Me76. :D Sorry. :D
    claphamboy, lizzieloo and Me76 like this.
  11. Me76

    Me76 Not very good lurker

    This is the reaction of everyone I have mentioned it to.
    13th December it's happening. I will come on here and rant a lot during!
    Voley likes this.
  12. Orang Utan

    Orang Utan Sub-Sub-Librarian

    i like xmas, but i hate trees and decorations. doesn't make me a miserable git!
  13. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    One more xmas-themed advert featuring perfect families, cute children, carefree couples, and all of them with unlimited budgets & house space and I will fucking scream! :mad:
    weepiper, girasol, stuff_it and 3 others like this.
  14. dessiato

    dessiato Philippians 4:8

    I love Xmas, and will be completely pissed off knowing that I shall get nothing at all, and, due to the restrictions, be able to give nothing. Except to Mrs D, who I will spoil rotten.

    There will be no turkey, no booze, no tree, no decorations, no shopping, nothing at all.

    Now I'm depressed as well.
  15. lizzieloo

    lizzieloo Numpty extraordinaire

    That's the bit I really want :(
  16. lizzieloo

    lizzieloo Numpty extraordinaire

    Pleeeeeaaaaaase film it, live stream! Even better :D
    krink and wtfftw like this.
  17. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    I revel in misery, Xmas is my kryptonite.
    Badgers likes this.
  18. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

    Moan away. That's what this thread's for ;)
  19. EastEnder

    EastEnder Brixton Barnacle

    Would someone turn off those sodding snowflakes!!! :mad:

    I also hate pink.
    rover07 and Minnie_the_Minx like this.
  20. Voley

    Voley The Prebendary Of Wetwang

    You really should have called this The Bah Humbug thread, Minnie. You've ruined my Christmas.
    rover07 likes this.
  21. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

    I'd like to know whose idea it was for pink. We had pink last year :mad:
  22. Minnie_the_Minx

    Minnie_the_Minx someinenhhanding menbag and me ah bollox

    That's the way the Christmas cookie crumbles, so like it or er... moan some more
  23. rover07

    rover07 has a shining car.

    Roll on January. :mad:
    lizzieloo likes this.
  24. MooChild

    MooChild Made of Straw

    Down with xmas :mad:
  25. claphamboy

    claphamboy The wheels on the bus go round and round....

    I would like to 'like' this post, but.............
  26. krink

    krink I'll do it this afternoon

    i'm humbug at work. i've decided no cards no presents no xmas events or drinks from work cos i heard a fair few scabbed yesterday and i don't want to spend my time and money (which i have very little of) on a bunch of scabs!

    but i love xmas generally speaking.
  27. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    Be like that then.
    Minnie_the_Minx likes this.
  28. claphamboy

    claphamboy The wheels on the bus go round and round....

  29. DRINK?

    DRINK? bummed by karmachameleon

    So for those who want to humbg christmas for you kids and apols if this has been posted a million times already though

    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.So when you look at the facts we can only come to one conclusion about Santa... don't let children read this next sentence...Santa is one fucking incredible bastard!
  30. claphamboy

    claphamboy The wheels on the bus go round and round....

    You should be killed just for copying & pasting and not breaking it down into paragraphs. :mad:
    Me76 likes this.

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