Michael Owen's Brochure.

[christonabike]

Over the last four seasons he has played, on average, fourteen and a half games

Any team employing him should do it on a pay per play deal, or they would be fecking mental

 

[mrkikiet]

Over the last four seasons he has eaten, on average, fourteen and a half crates of lemons while watching his 'team-mates' play

Any team employing him should own a lemon farm, or they would be fecking mental

he's an arse, an arse and arse. and one who is going to end up in the States.

 

[Epico]

You not like him then, mrkikiet?

 

[Bonfirelight]

i reckon he'd do a job for someone like Villa or Everton.
He's not become a bad player, he's just obviously fragile and out of form. plus he's been playing for Newcastle, which won't do anyone any good.

he's obviously not the player he was or could have been, but if he gets a decent club i suspect he'll surprise a few people.

 

[mrkikiet]

You not like him then, mrkikiet?

not massively.

 

[Silva]

I wouldn't mind having him on Porto. Our doctors are good enough to keep him fit and the season is short enough (and has a brief pause by December), so we could manage his physical load. Plus, we're a team well established Champions League, it's not like he'd be going to nowhere.

However, he's probably too stupid (or smart, depends how you see it) to accept a lower-paid job in some place he could get his career back on track and still play in Europe.

 

[mrkikiet]

However, he's probably too stupid (or smart, depends how you see it) to accept a lower-paid job in some place he could get his career back on track and still play in Europe.

won't be able to commute from cheshire to portugal. too far from his racehorses. so many reasons he won't go to portugal.

 

[kabbes]

I'd fooking LOVE it if I always had charts like this

 

[London_Calling]

won't be able to commute from cheshire to portugal. too far from his racehorses. so many reasons he won't go to portugal.

tbh, I suspect racing comes first these days. His heart just isn't in it, at least it wasn't at Newcastle.

 

[imposs1904]

I wonder if when he was younger and trying to break into the Liverpool first team he sat there watching the Likes of Robbie Fowler and wishing he could be just like him.

And now that he is just like him I bet now he is sitting there thinking damn, why didn't I look up to someone else.

 

[Silva]

won't be able to commute from cheshire to portugal. too far from his racehorses. so many reasons he won't go to portugal.

I know. But career-wise, a place like Portugal or Germany, with a shorter championship and a Winter break would be the right fit for him. But yeah, he probably would rather move to some bottom-end Premiership side, collect his paycheck/disability pension and then hit the tracks.

 

[Biffo]

Thought this was worth a bump to re-read with the benefit of hindsight.

Hull and Stoke were interested.

Villa or Everton seemed appropriate.

Man Utd go for him. Hope he doesn't fail his medical now otherwise he and Utd would look like right cunts. Even bigger cunts than they already are like.

 

[slaar]

Very funny, looking back. Looks like a sensible bit of business though particularly if he stays fit. Rumour is £30k / wk basic (vs £110k a week at Newcastle) rising with appearance and goal bonuses, and of course no transfer fee...