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Masterchef 2017

Discussion in 'books, films, TV, radio & writing' started by hash tag, Mar 30, 2017.

  1. hash tag

    hash tag Pedicabo omnes

    Just superbly irritating.
    Slaphead speaking very loudly THIS IS THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGE YOU WILL EVER FACE......or whatever
    then theres that awful person with her OTT inflections Etc. announcing Cyril, the volunteer home care worker from Hartlepool who has cooked since me mum taught him as a baby :facepalm:
    I switched off in minutes.
    bubblesmcgrath and Sirena like this.
  2. Santino

    Santino lovelier than lovely

    Custard ravioli
    Tankus likes this.
  3. Teaboy

    Teaboy It definitely looks brighter over there..

    It was great in the first few series when they used to ask losing contestants whether they would carry on cooking. No, I'm going to live on take away for the rest of my life.
  4. Artaxerxes

    Artaxerxes Well-Known Member

    Before I work out if I want to watch this please tell me if that's actually on here...
    Sirena likes this.
  5. hash tag

    hash tag Pedicabo omnes

    I think we missed the second programme, maybe the third as we were out...really don't know where we are wih it to be honest. We were in Friday, it was on; I couldn't watch it.
  6. Sirena

    Sirena Don't monkey with the buzzsaw

    I thought I would pop this amusing review here for want of a better place.

    It's all becoming a bit Emperor's New Clothes now, isn't it? :facepalm: Clear evidence of the decadence of the Western model of civilization.....:D

    Le Cinq, Paris: restaurant review
    wiskey and bubblesmcgrath like this.
  7. Sirena

    Sirena Don't monkey with the buzzsaw

    “It’s like eating a condom that’s been left lying about in a dusty greengrocer’s” :cool:
  8. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    What do Jay Rayner's companions spend their free time doing?
  9. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    I still enjoy Masterchef, but increasingly because it's fun to take the piss out of. What I keep noticing this series is:
    • Torode's learnt some nouns. They're not very descriptive, but they're accurate. He called a dish he liked something like a 'lovely lovely dish' instead of a 'lovely lovely thing' at one point.
    • Also, he can be really reactionary in his tastes: the number of times you hear him going e.g. 'Coriander...? With lime...?' and then pulling a face as if someone'd suggested marmite trifle with toenail sprinkles...
    • How is it possible that so many foodies can't pronounce turmeric (it's not 'tyoomeric' - there's a fucking 'r' in it!) or chorizo (z= 'th' or 'z', not 'tz' - it's Spanish, not Italian!) properly?
    • Zippy's visible boner every time there's a contestant who could clearly kick the shit out of him who does something really butch for a living. 'What do you do, mate?' 'I chase down police dogs that have gone rogue and punch them to death.' 'Nice one, me old son. Let me shake your and. Do us proud out there. etc.'
  10. Sirena

    Sirena Don't monkey with the buzzsaw

    I know what you mean about the pronunciation thing. I wince when people say choreetso instead of choreetho.

    I had a friend who was a bit of a feminist and she never learned that macho is pronounced macho and not macko.... :facepalm:
  11. JuanTwoThree

    JuanTwoThree Here's Juan I prepared earlier

    I more and more hate the breathy girl at the beginning; I increasingly hate the bald one saying 'Howevah!' because he doesn't want to say 'But!' and I hate the yawning predictability of his sweet tooth. I hate the other one's worried expression. I hate the gurning reaction shots which were filmed days before or after the event. I hate the whole fucking thing for being a turgid litany of faux drama and matiness.

    Howevah! the final does often produce a stonkingly good cook: Ping Coombes in 2014 for example.
    Sirena likes this.
  12. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    I get all of those irritations. It does have one saving grace over many reality shows, though, and that's the fact that you actually have to be really good at something to do well on it. Although the knock-out weeks often veer towards pantomime or horror show, it does (at the risk of sounding like one of the muppets presenting it myself) get more serious as the weeks go on.
  13. Smokeandsteam

    Smokeandsteam Well-Known Member

    He is desperate to be matey with the DJ/sound engineer guy from Woolwich. He's tried bonding over football, he's tried their shared baldness as a commion reference point..

    Problem is I think the contestant is actually not a lad type at all. It's also increasingly clear that he that he thinks Wallace is an irritiating knob.
  14. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    Even his co-presenter appears to think that most of the time.
    Smokeandsteam likes this.
  15. Artaxerxes

    Artaxerxes Well-Known Member

  16. purenarcotic

    purenarcotic Conveniently Pocket Sized

    Apparently that article is a load of crap, they've posted loads of stuff on instagram and twitter of them hanging out and taking the piss out of the papers that published the article.
  17. Artaxerxes

    Artaxerxes Well-Known Member

    Possibly but it also cropped up in 2013 and I've heard it via scuttlebutt over the years as well.
  18. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    Could be producer-ordered damage limitation, of course...
  19. purenarcotic

    purenarcotic Conveniently Pocket Sized

    Yes that's true. Not sure I would take the mirror celeb pages as especially gospel though (which is where the original claims came from this time). :D
  20. Gromit

    Gromit International Man of Misery

    That woman loves a crumb. She had crumb on everything.

    She'd do

    Egg n chips... with a crumb.
    Tomato soup with a crumb.
    Crumbs with a crumb.
  21. Tankus

    Tankus random farter

    fuck me ....

    I just winesprayed my keyboard
  22. DexterTCN

    DexterTCN Well-Known Member

    When did Wallace start looking like a tortoise? It's really fucking distracting. Just serve him some green leaves and he'll be happy.
    Artaxerxes and juice_terry like this.
  23. hash tag

    hash tag Pedicabo omnes

    Is someone able to reassure me that the monkey bread tastes better than it looks? :eek:
  24. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model Starry Wisdom

  25. oryx

    oryx Sitting on the bock of the day

    I thought it looked (well, OK maybe not looked... but sounded) great. They all seemed to like it.

    But after the pigeon claw episode, anything pudding, fish or veg on Masterchef looks good to me!
  26. Artaxerxes

    Artaxerxes Well-Known Member

    Gregg Wallace as Om, John Torode as Brutha, I'd watch it.
    DexterTCN likes this.
  27. billy_bob

    billy_bob Flourishing both sides the Tweed

    Someone won this.

    I just thought I should register Urban's ever-growing disenchantment with the programme...
  28. Smokeandsteam

    Smokeandsteam Well-Known Member

    I lost the will to watch it - its endless
  29. Reiabuzz

    Reiabuzz Well-Known Member

    Fish omelette :D:thumbs:
  30. ringo

    ringo Macaroni cheese controller

    Only saw 5 minutes of it, but did someone do a deep fried sausage roll full of offal? Took me about one second to get over the grimness of how it sounded and want to eat it in one mouthful.
    colacubes and 5t3IIa like this.

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