Marmite Cheese Spread

[Mrs Miggins]

it looked full of win in theory, in practice, it looked like brown sludge, and not in a good way

LOL!

 

[trashpony]

i think got something similar a few months ago, and although it looked full of win in theory, in practice, it looked like brown sludge, and not in a good way

It's one of those ideas that's brilliant when you're stoned at 3am and crap at 9am the next morning

 

[Mogden]

I introduced Flashy to the delights of cheese and Marmite sarnies last week. This sounds like a pot of win to me

 

[Santino]

I scept.

 

[Crispy]

War crime

 

[Chester Copperpot]

Hmmm. Not sure about this TBH.

As others have said cheese is great as is marmite but mixing the two.

 

[marty21]

cheese sandwiches - yes
cheese sandwiches with marmite - yes
ugly brown sludge sandwiches tasting of cheese and marmite = no

 

[EastEnder]

cheese sandwiches - yes
cheese sandwiches with marmite - yes
ugly brown sludge sandwiches tasting of cheese and marmite = no

I concur.

It isn't even really "cheese" is it? Cheese comes in slabs that you chop bits off - this is "cheese" in the same way that "cheese" you can squeeze out of a tube isn't really cheese at all, iykwim.

Cheese that arrives in a solid block = good.
Cheese that arrives in a pot, jar, tube = bad. (and that includes "cottage cheese" and other related non-cheeses.)

The ultimate ignominy would be if they produced Marmite cheese spread in the new, abominable, squeezable jar format...

Someone would definitely have to die.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Maybe someone should make cheese that is flavoured with Marmite. Like sage derby.

 

[marty21]

I concur.

It isn't even really "cheese" is it? Cheese comes in slabs that you chop bits off - this is "cheese" in the same way that "cheese" you can squeeze out of a tube isn't really cheese at all, iykwim.

Cheese that arrives in a solid block = good.
Cheese that arrives in a pot, jar, tube = bad. (and that includes "cottage cheese" and other related non-cheeses.)

The ultimate ignominy would be if they produced Marmite cheese spread in the new, abominable, squeezable jar format...

Someone would definitely have to die.

very true - i also need my cheese in a solid variety, rather than a marmite tasting brown sludge

 

[rutabowa]

cheese sandwiches - yes
cheese sandwiches with marmite - yes
ugly brown sludge sandwiches tasting of cheese and marmite = no

yes.

 

[Firky]

That sounds repulsive.

 

[ohmyliver]

sounds briiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliant

 

[spanglechick]

They used to do a chese spread in sainsburys that was flavoured with yeast extract.

Terrifyingly enough, it didn't need refridgerating, and so must have been entirely artifical junge. But it was dead nice.

 

[kyser_soze]

sounds briiiillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliant

Dammit, beat me to it.

Reckon they'll sell this at Savanna under Ldn Bge stn? I'll get a communal Urban pot and we can have a taste session in the Albert/PRoD/Offline...

 

[Mogden]

Ooo ooooo!!

Look what I've just bought in Sainsburys

Marmite cheddar bites. Almost as good as the Marmite bites I made for the Brum meet.

 

[Strumpet]

very true - i also need my cheese in a solid variety, rather than a marmite tasting brown sludge

Same here but.....I might have to try it just in case it's yummylicious.
Marmite n cheese - WIN!

Not sure about this yet though....as it isn't real cheese.

 

[Vintage Paw]

WANT! Any and all combinations of cheese and marmite are inherently made of oodles of win.

Oodles of yeasty win

 

[EastEnder]

Not sure about this yet though....as it isn't real cheese.

Indeed.

I think there should be some sort of law against calling things "cheese" which quite clearly aren't cheese.

Cheese is made as big round lumps of moderately hard cheesy stuff. You need a knife to cut it into more managed sized lumps. It has the defining characteristic of starting off hard, then melting predictably when put on toast under the grill.

If it comes in a jar and can be spooned out, it's not cheese.
If it comes in a tube and can be squeezed out, it's not cheese.
If it's some sort of spreadable gunk advertised by a pair of slappers pretending to be low rent angels, it's not cheese.
If it resembles some sort of unpleasant discharge with pineapple chunks in it, it's not cheese.

If it goes well with pickle and can be served on cocktail sticks at cheap buffets, it probably is cheese.

QED.

 

[mrsfran]

All you people saying cheese should be solid: have you never had cream cheese? Ricotta?

 

[EastEnder]

All you people saying cheese should be solid: have you never had cream cheese? Ricotta?

Cheese is solid goddamnit!!!

That's the whole point!!! Cream "cheese" is nothing of the sort!!!

Can you spread mature cheddar on a bloody Ryvita?!?!? NO!!!! Of course not!!!

Because mature cheddar, is CHEESE!!!!

 

[mrsfran]

So ricotta and mascarpone aren't cheese according to your definition. I'd like to see you try to sell that viewpoint to Italians, mister.

 

[EastEnder]

I stand by my vitriol.

If you can stick chunks of it on a cocktail stick and happily wave it around without fear of dribbling, splattering or oozing, then it's proper cheese.

 

[loud 1]

hmmmm on toast that sounds triple sod.

 

[ohmyliver]

Cheese is solid goddamnit!!!

That's the whole point!!! Cream "cheese" is nothing of the sort!!!

Can you spread mature cheddar on a bloody Ryvita?!?!? NO!!!! Of course not!!!

Because mature cheddar, is CHEESE!!!!

no but you can spread a mature stilton on ryvita, so nerr and everything

 

[Pingu]

I am getting some brought over for me for christmas...

 

[EastEnder]

no but you can spread a mature stilton on ryvita, so nerr and everything

Not really spreading as such though, is it? More sort of squashing...

Stilton counts as a real cheese cos it comes in proper cheese shaped lumps and can be cut with a knife. It's just one of the softer proper cheeses.

You can juggle lumps of stilton. Try that with bloody Philadelphia and you'll soon learn why it's not proper cheese!

 

[ohmyliver]

Not really spreading as such though, is it? More sort of squashing...

Stilton counts as a real cheese cos it comes in proper cheese shaped lumps and can be cut with a knife. It's just one of the softer proper cheeses.

You can juggle lumps of stilton. Try that with bloody Philadelphia and you'll soon learn why it's not proper cheese!

what about bree or camambert (de-rinded of course) would they pass the juggle test?

*eta* and I'm not sure you can juggle ripe stilton really

 

[EastEnder]

what about bree or camambert (de-rinded of course) would they pass the juggle test?

Filthy french muck.

Real cheese does not run......

 

[HeroineSheep]

Right, let's get this straight: vegemite and cheese sandwich: heaven on a plate.

Avocado and vegemite: comestible orgasm on a plate.

Call me unpatriotic,but I'm a bit over marmite.

Anyway, you need thick slices of cheese: bet they haven't got proportions right.