london's worst clubs

Discussion in 'music, bands, clubs & festies' started by Pickman's model, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model every man and every woman is a star

    i'll start you off with the dire 'manhattan lights' in muswell hill, behind the former green man pub.

    fucking appalling.
     
    Yelkcub, IC3D and Boycey like this.
  2. BarbedWire303

    BarbedWire303 Bànned

    Broadway Boulevard, Ealing. How the **** I ended up in here for an R&B night ffs I will not know. Likewise, how I got out without being stabbed I also do not know. Not everyone was so lucky. Full of silver chain-wearing wannabe gangsta scum from everywhere from Harrow to... er... Ealing, I guess :rolleyes:

    Eros, Enfield. Put on a few decent garage nights at one time, sadly spoiled by idiots who proved that, in their case at least, IQ was definitely directly proportional to the frequency of the basslines. The kind of place where, if you've been turned away, you come back "strapped" a few minutes later, and "cap" the doorman. Sadly, this really did happen a few times :mad:

    Fortunately, I don't go to places like this very often :)
     
    stephj and ska invita like this.
  3. ska invita

    ska invita back on the other side

    How long before Croydon is mentioned? Sorry Croydon...
     
  4. TitanSound

    TitanSound Mr Beardy Drummer

    I foolishly visited this venue a couple of times as mates said "the girls were buff!!!!". The girls were indeed buff, but hard to talk to unless you had a Versace shirt and shiny shoes on. No chance for scruffy old me in my Levi's and scuffed up Gazelle's.
     
  5. Belushi

    Belushi 01 811 8055 R.I.P.

    Flami gos in Woolwich. Its actual name was Flamingos but the n was missing from the sign during the years I lived there.

    Great place to grab a granny or get a beating.
     
    hot air baboon likes this.
  6. Dan U

    Dan U Boompty

    I went to Eros in Enfield, when it was squatted
     
  7. Ted Striker

    Ted Striker Foot's on the other hand

    Leave the Orchid out of this :mad:
     
  8. Bakunin

    Bakunin I am Noodle's bitch.

    It sounds like London is merely an extension of Plymouth's famous Union Street to me.
     
  9. The Octagon

    The Octagon Stop...Hammertime

    Been to both of those.

    Agree on both points.
     
  10. 100% masahiko

    100% masahiko i is a professor and is magical like totoro

    The Edge - Norbury.

    At least the time I went.
     
    RaverDrew likes this.
  11. marty21

    marty21 One on one? You're crazy.

    Carlton Club
    Reform Club
    Whites
    Athenaeum Club
    Garrick Club
     
  12. ska invita

    ska invita back on the other side

    :D

    [​IMG]

    bit of a londoncentric thread this - these OP clubbing/media types eh? ;)
     
  13. twistedAM

    twistedAM Left Of The Dial

    Sinatra's RIP
     
    RaverDrew likes this.
  14. paolo

    paolo Well-Known Member

    There was a place on the Hendon Way, near Hendon Central tube. I forget the name. It was above a restaurant and seemed to be entirely populated by teenagers. Me and my mate kinda vaguely knew it was a bit crap, but didn't know the full horror until we got inside. It was a school disco with booze. Awful. Suffice to say we never went back.

    Then there were those 'barns' in Kilburn. The National. The Galtymore. Irish fighting clubs. Mental. Not good mental, bad mental. People stripped to the waist rucking, whilst waiting for taxis. I assume they've all disappeared now but I've not gone back to check.
     
    Pickman's model and Yelkcub like this.
  15. TitanSound

    TitanSound Mr Beardy Drummer

    The National has been a "church" for about 10 years now.
     
  16. Greebo

    Greebo 'scuse me, Mrs May, can I have my country back? R.I.P.

    Whatever Exodus aka Kudos aka Paradise Lost currently calls itself. The crappy nightclub in Watford which half of Essex thought was worth going to. Strange, because locals thought it was a bit of a provincial dump.
     
  17. twentythreedom

    twentythreedom Patterdale Terrorist R.I.P.

    I went there once. It was fucking horrific. Like "The Turrets" by New Southgate station.
     
    Pickman's model likes this.
  18. ska invita

    ska invita back on the other side

    :D RIP!

    [​IMG]
     
  19. hmmph

    hmmph Well-Known Member

    Don't think they realise the Orchid was Croydon's premier club venue :confused: they obviously haven't been to Crystals at Selhurst Park :D
     
    RaverDrew likes this.
  20. Oxygen in Leicester Sq.

    Closer to home - Beluga in Tunbridge Wells. SOS in Tonbridge
     
  21. baffled

    baffled Well-Known Member

    Melanies of Hendon, went a couple of times as it was open after Production Village kicked out and you're right it was crap, The National, Galtymore and Ashtons are all gone, literally in the case of the latter 2 (The National is a church now, UCKG I think)
     
  22. editor

    editor hiraethified

    I remember it well. It was truly, spectacularly awful.
     
    Pickman's model likes this.
  23. skyscraper101

    skyscraper101 0891 50 50 50

    Infernos in Clapham Junction. Like being cast back to the eighties. Not in a good way.
     
  24. clicker

    clicker nanook rubs it....

    Twilights in Stydenham....the home of the works Christmas do....pissed up aging accountants, the smell of roast meat languishing in its own fat under a buffet light and watered down all inclusive drinks....never had Black Russians been so un-Russian .
     
    ska invita likes this.
  25. Garek

    Garek Living n ADDled chaos

    Is there such a thing as a good club?
     
  26. Ted Striker

    Ted Striker Foot's on the other hand

    I see you all, and raise you Bon Bonnies in Herne Hill.
     
    Nanker Phelge likes this.
  27. MellySingsDoom

    MellySingsDoom Decimated by the shrapnel of his rhetoric

    Oh fucking hell - I've been unfortunate enough to have been to this place in the very early 90's. One small room of soul and funk was it's only saving grace. Mirrored walls. Ghastly late 80's music of 2nd division SAW acts heritage. Pissed up beer monsters all over the shop. "Smart dress only". The inevitable "are you looking at my bird/pint/shoes etc" characters....
     
  28. Pickman's model

    Pickman's model every man and every woman is a star

    i went to a couple of parties at the turrets, weren't so bad: but i never went to a club night there.
     
  29. TitanSound

    TitanSound Mr Beardy Drummer

    The irony huh? Whenever I heard a club was "smart dress only" it was like a massive red flag flag.
     
    Greebo likes this.
  30. paolo

    paolo Well-Known Member

    Ah yes, the Production Village, Ashtons! All the awful memories... coming flooding back.
     

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