Right, my proper review:
In retrospect I loved it, and will definetly be doing another, possibly start competing in very, very amateur cycling as well. Not even that stiff today!
I can definetly massively improve my time with no extra training, but then it was my first, I didn't know what to expect. Big problem was that my boss, who kindly drove my bike to the Excel Centre, didn't turn up until 12:20, so I had to get all the registering, and bike racking, and wetsuit putting onning done in minutes.. the race started at 12:30 and there was a fair bit of admin to be done. So, I was panicked, hadn't had time to do much stretching, smoked a lot right before to calm my nerves, and didn't have any goggles.
The swim was horrible.. I knew the second I started even just swimming to the starting gate that my complete lack of swim training was utterly stupid. I'd convinced myself that rowing machines every night would sort me out fine, simply to avoid being topless in public swimming pools.. doh. The lack of goggles didn't help either, I couldn't use a proper stroke, and the open water buffeted you all over the place, and left you with a feeling of not getting anywhere. About 1/3 of the way through I noticed slight twinges in my left calf, these got worse until about 3/4 of the way through both legs locked up with cramp. The safety people in canoes asked if I was alright, and to be honest I probably wasn't, but people had sponsored me £800 odd, and I didn't want to let people down, or be hugely embarrassed. So I carried on using just my arms essentially in what wasn't so much a doggy paddle, but more of a dog that had been runover by a lorry paddle. Still, I got there in the end, not last, but not far off. I couldn't stand up due to locked legs, so was dragged out of water by marshals. Oddly my arms were fine, no stiffness today either, so maybe the rowing machines did help. But why did my legs, muscely as fuck, and heavily excercised, cramp up!?
Cracking start.
I kinda wobbled over to my bike, head spinning, feeling very sick from drinking what was essentially the Thames. Very shaky, moving onto auto-pilot a bit. Checked my txts, had some lucozade, and ran over the bike exit, forgetting to put on my hugely expensive, carbon soled racing shoes. I just had manky trainers with holes in. Started at same time as old man, who shot off in front of me. Feeling pretty miserable, and a bit of a failure. However the cramp soon wore off, I got into my stride, it felt very natural after all the cycle training I'd done. After 500m I was overtaking people, lots of people, and it felt absolutely fucking fantastic. Grinning from ear to ear I zoomed round, whipping past people in team colours, with several thousand pound bikes, hitting over 30mph on some straights (with the wind helping me), and it felt very natural. Took a certain amount of pride in glancing at the new muscles that had appeared on my legs in recent months doing their job and propelling me around the course. I came to the end, and suddenly realised I'd forgetten it was 2 laps. Had to stop and ask a marshal, not good for my time!
At this point I thought the reason I'd overtaken people was becuase I'd misjudged it, not paced myself, but continued to overtake people. A few people overtook me on this lap. Including one prick who overtook me on my left, when I was in the correct lane, and quite tight to the bollards. He told me to get out of the fucking way, I called him a prick, he zoomed off. So I decided to do my best to teach the arrogant, self-important wanker a lesson. Neeeeeeeowng! At the next straight I completely caned his poncy ass.. and must have finished 500m ahead of him. This gave me a real buzz, and I was surprised at my abilities on the bike. My time was far from anything special, but it wasn't bad, and as sad as it sounds I felt a real sense of achievement.
So, the run, the bit I'd been dreading. Racked the bike, put some socks on, checked my txts again. Then wondered over to the run exit. Decided to copy the stride of the people I was running with, planning to stop every now and then to get my breath back... but incredibly I didn't need to, I just kept on running, which I'd never done in my life.. didn't think I was able to. Even overtook some people.. however the whole thing was ruined by having to cross the finish line to the Rocky theme tune. Half of me loved it, and was grinning as if I'd just won the special olympics, tempted to run up the nearest stairs and jump with half the townsfolk joining me.. half of me felt like a complete twat, and slightly patronised.
Anyway, got my medal which features a broken bike, a hideously deformed woman, and half a torso floating in the Thames.. something to be proud of
So, my official times (this includes time spent being dragged out of water, checking txts, and stopping to ask how many laps I was meant to be doing bear in mind!)
Swim 22:08 (abysmal)
Bike 41:59 (probably crap, but better than lots of people)
Run 25:31 (crap, but very good for me)
Total 1:40:03 - beforehand I was aiming for 2 hours or less, so pretty pleased.
Place 972 - so far down the podium I'm nearing the earth's crust!
So yeah, it was really good fun, and I felt quite proud of myself for the first time since I got loads of badges in Cubs.. I completed something pretty hard, and raised over £800 for charity.. it was a nice feeling.
Again, huge thanks to everyone that sponsored me - well above and beyond the call of duty, and I was quite touched, as wanky as that sounds.
Might do another one this summer, possibly some duathlons, but definetly something I'm going to stick at.. would really recommend it to people, and I suppose the best thing I could do to persuade people is to say that it's really not that bad. I almost a bit embarrassed for having made a big deal out of it, having completed it with energy to spare. Maybe I'll aim to do an Olympic at next years event.. might mean giving up the fags though
If I sorted out my transitions I could have taken 5 mins off my time, and if I'd trained for the swim I'd have taken another 5 mins off. So, with training, I want to complete my next Sprint in 1hr25mins.
