This made me giggle:
BRAWL COST KOP LEAGUE TITLE CLAIMS MASCHERANO
by R Moore-Bull
An astonishing claim by Liverpool star, Javier Mascherano, is about to rock the Kop club. Mascherano told an Argentinian newspaper, Siel-Lla, that a half-time brawl involving 18 Liverpool players and several members of the coaching staff left the club’s title dreams in ruins. The argument started because Liverpool’s vice captain Jamie Carragher refused to play in the right back position, even going so far as to call manager Rafa Benitez a “yard dog” for suggesting the switch. “I did not know what ‘yard dog’ was”, said Mascherano, “but I could tell it was not very nice because Rafa immediately picked up a stick and started waving it in Carragher’s face. Sammy Lee was shouting ‘hit him boss, hit him hard’. It was very confusing”.
Mascherano himself ended up playing in the right back position following Carragher’s point blank refusal. “It was horrible. The other players were laughing at me during the first half. Carra especially was screaming abuse at me in a language I did not understand. Gerrard was putting special spin on the ball which made it impossible to control. And at half time it all came to a head”.
The mass brawl left the dressing room in ruins and the shower installations completely smashed. Several bottles of shampoo were also tipped over. But it was the damage done to Liverpool’s squad that proved most serious. “I was surprised that no one commented on it at the time”, Mascherano told Siel-Lla. “Several of us were bleeding when we took to the pitch for the second half. I had been tarred and feathered. And Albert Riera had to play on with a broken leg. He had been hit with a golf club that had been lying around for a long time. Someone said it used to belong to a man called Bellamy. I don’t know. It was very strange”.
For the remainder of the season, claims Mascherano, the Liverpool players refused to talk to each other. “We used to sing songs together in the old days. Love songs sometimes. All that stopped. I got very fed up. So did Alonso. Before games we would make Barcelona chants or Real Madrid chants. Torres started wearing a Chelsea shirt to training. Every day most of us would be on the phone to Mark Hughes. Team morale started to suffer a bit”.
Asked if he would be back at Anfield for the start of the season, Mascherano replied. “No one will be. Rafa is going to sell everyone. Fact.”