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I've gotten a lot of mails in recent years from young adventurers, enthusiastic Deadliest Catch fans, and desperately broke people wanting to find a job on a fishing boat in Alaska. I'm happy to share a few secrets here and clear up some common misconceptions. I'll set this informative story to the tune of some recent snapshots from the 4 months I've spent working in Alaska since October... but I'll also throw in some from the "old days" when it all began. How does this apply to fecal face dot com you might be thinking? I'm not sure exactly. Most of the kids that have emailed me about jobs in Alaska are from small midwest towns and litter their myspace pages with pictures of nascar heros, guns, confederate flags and hot chicks laying in sand. Do any fecal readers own guns or watch motorsports? Well, maybe this is just another "you can do anything if you set your mind to it" story. You can apply these job finding techniques to dozens of other torturous jobs in the world that will bring you to incredible destinations while making decent money to pay off school debt. How about coal mining in Svalbard? or working on Oil Platforms in the North Sea?

This is the story of how I got started.

Me and a buddy decided we'd drive the Alaska highway from my hometown in Vista, California one summer in search of jobs in Alaska. We chose Homer (the halibut capital of the world) as our premier destination. I really didn't know if this was the right town to start in and we didn't do much research on what time of year is best to get a salmon job in that region of Alaska.

We had no connections to help us on our way, so we started walking the docks and talking to people. You just have to meet folks in person and be in the right place at the right time. I found it quite intimidating at first. These guys were the real deal... tough lifer fishermen. They mostly weren't interested in small talk. Many just gave us dirty looks and shook their heads no. I felt like a beggar and got no respect.

After a few days of exploring and walking the same docks over and over again, it became obvious that Homer was not thehappening place for work in late May. Homer was a big halibut fishing town, but the season wasn't on and everyone seemed to have regular crews.


On day three, we met a crab boat captain. He was a happy big bearded dude with oil permanently outlining his fingerprints. He ran a boat called the Norquest that docked in Homer for the summer. They wouldn't fish for a couple months, but he hired us for $7 an hour to do some shipyard work. We grinded out and repainted the crab tanks and mast. The work was toxic but we were eager and didn't complain. I coughed up rust for days after and lost millions of brain cells from painting a super toxic marine paint without a ventilator. We spent two weeks of shipyard work on the Norquest and asked a lot of questions about the industry. Afterwards, the skipper was impressed with our dedication and offered us both jobs as deckhands.


Looking back, it's not so surprising that this particular boat had jobs for us. It was a rusty creature of a boat. The electronics were all out of date, the cranes were primitive, the layout was inefficient. It was small and old, a dangerous boat. Only the desperate or inexperienced would subject themselves to the Bering Sea in such a boat.

Luckily we turned down the job. We would have had to put in months of tendering (delivering salmon for canneries) and at least a month of cod fishing for free before we could work the coveted red king crab season where we were told you could make about $15,000 in a few weeks. By then the summer would be over and I was going back to college in September in Arizona of all places.


Shortly after our painting job on the Norquest, a guy named Larry contacted me after spotting a note I tacked to a bulletin board offering myself as a deckhand. He ran a set gillnet operation for Sockeye salmon in Bristol Bay and his deckhand had flaked at the last minute. We met that same day. He gave me a good look up and down and asked if I got seasick, did any drugs, am I willing to work harder then my body will allow. I said no, no and yes and I was on the first flight in the morning to a remote beach near the Kvichak River.


It was my favorite fishing experience ever. Summertime in Alaska pulling full nets of salmon over the rail by hand. We lived in primitive shacks on a sparcely populated beach. On the days off, I'd explore the tundra on a 3 wheeler with a .44 Magnum strapped to my side for bear protection.


I could go on an on about salmon fishing. I did it for 5 years. Unfortunately, I never really made any money. Maybe a couple thousand in 6 weeks at the most, but at least it was an adventure. The big money talk about commercial fishing is an illusion. There are ways to make a good living if you are in it for the long haul. You can't expect to show up for a season, find a job and go home with a fistful of cash. You have to take major sacrifices in the beginning. A guy with no experience should be willing to work for free or partial share. They should do anything it takes to gain the knowledge so that you can "fake" your way onto better paying boats.


Having experience as a commercial salmon fisherman was helpful when looking for a higher risk, higher paid job. But there is a reason the career fishermen call the summertime fishermen from the lower 48 "salmon fags". It just doesn't approach the level of mundane drudgery that other fisheries in the icy waters of Alaska can dish out.


When I graduated from art school in SF earlier this decade, I decided to search for a fishing job that would help me out of debt. At the same time, I could fully engulf myself in my life project... photographing the modern fisherman.


I began the search this time in Seattle. It was as simple as posting a note on the bulletin board at fisherman's terminal: "Strong, responsible, experienced deckhand seeking work". I listed my references as a salmon fisherman for five years. Then i started walking the docks. This is really the only way to get a job if you have no connections. Just start talking to people. Offer to help them work on the gear for free. No resume is needed.


I was first offered a job by a guy named Cowboy. He was the skipper of a blackcod longliner headed out the next day for the Bering Sea. He was a crazy looking dude... All shaggy and crusty, but super nice. His boat looked like shit. He needed a half share deckhand/cook. I really didn't want to cook so I told him I'd think about it and come back tomorrow.


Tomorrow was too late and the position was already filled. It had been over two weeks and this was my only offer and I blew it.

The next offer was a guy that drove out from Westport Washington just to find a deckhand in Seattle. I took the job and spent a week in Westport preparing to fish halibut for 4 months aboard the Ocean Challenger. Perhaps it was luck for me that I quit before we even left port. I had a bad feeling about the boat and was certain that I would get swindled out of fair pay.


Last October the Ocean Challenger rolled over in heavy seas and killed all but one of its crew. You might have witnessed the dramatic rescue of the only survivor caught on Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch last month. Even weirder, Cowboy, the super cool captain that offered me the other blackcod job, perished as the captain of the Ocean Challenger.


Eventually, after a whole depressing rainy March in Seattle, I recieved a phone call from Eric Nyhammer. He saw my note on the bulletin board and offered me a job jigging for cod in the Gulf of Alaska and Bering Sea aboard the 43 foot f/v Two Bears. He also mentioned something on the phone about owning a scallop boat, salmon boat, and skippering a beautiful crab boat called the Rollo. I took the job and he flew me out to a remote village on the Alaska Penninsula.


Eric was a fantastic skipper, a tough and creative cross breed. It was fun, I saw the biggest waves of my life, drank lots of booze in a town called King Cove, and only made $2500 after two months of hard labor.


He thought I worked hard, I stuck it out to the end even though we weren't making any money. So one tipsy night after drinking at Carl's he offered me a job on the Rollo as a full share crabber.


The full share part didn't pan out when we were sober, but I got the job. These are pictures of Matt (by the way).

I like crab fishing sometimes but most often I feel like jumping over the side. I told myself i'd quit after two years and move on to the next fishery but now it's been 5 years. Maybe I'm just addicted to the scenery.

We come across some odd creatures.

Here is a nice whale carcass.

here is an Opilio Crab (not so weird)

Here is a red gilled scorpion cobra viper sculpin.

Here is another Opilio Crab

Here is a homeless Bairdi crab with genital barnicles. He was very much alive as a blind quadruple amputee. Some sort of sea sponge type thing has decided to be his hat. We see lots of these little french hats out there. I always giggle.

Last King Crab I salvaged a nice kitty from the pound hours before we left Seattle. She prostituted herself to all 5 of us and bounced from bunk to bunk on a weekly basis.

:cool:
 
War's like that though. Death, despair, grief, limbs. But when it's gone, in a strange way, you miss it.
 
Many people in the SCA think of the table fork as either "out of period"
or "very late period." Often people insist that the only period forks
have two tines. Actually, table forks were known and used before the
year 1000 in the middle east [Boger, Giblin]. Forks made before 1600
with as many as five tines still exist today. What is the real history
of the table fork? Let us see.

The fork came to Europe through Italy's nobility in the eleventh
century. Throughout the next five hundred years, the table fork spread
throughout Europe, and into the lesser social classes. By 1600, the fork
was known in England, although rare and viewed as an Italian
affectation, while in Italy even the merchant classes were using forks
regularly.

We can deduce that forks were not common by looking at various
inventories and wills from the Middle Ages. The few forks listed were
made of precious materials, and presumably kept primarily for dazzle and
ostentation. They may also have been used as investment pieces for the
value of the materials used [Bailey]. Some specific examples include:

The Will of John Baret of Bury St. Edmunds, 1463: "Itm J. yeve and
beqwethe to Davn John Kertelynge my silvir forke for grene
gyngor"[Bailey] The Jewelhouse inventory of Henry VIII: "Item one spone
wt suckett fork at the end of silver and gilt"[Bailey] Inventory of
property left by Henry VII: "Item, one Case wherein are xxi knives and a
fork, the hafts being crystal and chalcedony, the ends garnished with
gold" [Hayward] "Item, one Case of knives furnished with divers knives
and one fork, whereof two be great hafts of silver parcel-gilt, the case
covered with crimson velvet" [Hayward].

Forks also appear in an inventory of silverware in Florence, taken in
1361 [Giblin], in inventories of Charles V and Charles VI of France
[Bailey], and in Italian cookbooks of the late 1400's [Giblin]. All
these references do not mean that forks were common - the fork was known
only to the very uppermost classes, and seldom used even among them.

A Byzantine princess introduced the table fork to Europe in the eleventh
century. The story varies slightly depending on the source, but the
essence is that a nobleman, probably Domenico Selvo (or Silvio), heir to
the Doge of Venice, married a princess from Byzantium. This Byzantine
princess brought a case of two- tined table forks to Venice as part of
her luggage. Forks seem to have been novelties in Byzantium, but not
unknown. Many examples can be found in Byzantine art, according to Boger
and Henisch.

The princess outraged the populace and the clergy by refusing to eat
with her hands:

"Instead of eating with her fingers like other people, the princess cuts
up her food into small pieces and eats them by means of little golden
forks with two prongs."[Giblin]

"God in his wisdom has provided man with natural forks - his fingers.
Therefore it is an insult to Him to substitute artificial metallic forks
for them when eating."[Giblin]

The princess apparently died before very long, of some wasting disease,
prompting Peter Damian, Cardinal Bishop of Ostia to write,

"Of the Venetian Doge's wife, whose body, after her excessive delicacy,
entirely rotted away"[Henisch]

Other evidence of the fork coming to Europe from the east is given in a
letter by a Franciscan monk to Louis IX of France. He discusses the
eating habits of the Tartars in the middle of the thirteenth century:

"With the point of a knife or a fork especially made for this purpose -
like those with which we are accustomed to eat pears or apples cooked in
wine - they offer to each of those standing around one or two
mouthfuls."[Henisch]

This fragment of a letter and listings in inventories and wills link the
fork with fruits and sweetmeats. We also see the fork was used to eat
dishes that included a sticky sauce or that might stain the fingers
[Boger, Bailey]. At one time, this practice was primarily that of
courtesans, prompting the Church to ban the fork as an immoral influence
[Gruber].

The fork would be used to spear a piece of food, lift it from the plate
or serving bowl, and shake any excess sauce from it. Then one would
pluck the food from the fork using the tips of the fingers and place the
morsel in the mouth. The early forks were small, with short straight
tines, and therefore probably used only for spearing and holding food,
rather than scooping. The curve with which we are familiar in the modern
fork was introduced in France in the seventeenth century [Boger.]

Forks were known and used in Spain, at least by the upper classes, by
the time of the Armada. A large assortment was recovered from the wreck
of La Girona, which sank off the coast of Ireland in 1588. La Girona
carried Don Alonso de Leiva and his retinue, who apparently traveled
well equipped. Don Alonso is known to have entertained the Duke of
Medina Sidonia before the Armada sailed, "in grand style, with musical
accompaniment, at his table sumptuously set with silver plate and
cutlery and gold-plated candelabra [Flanagan]." This cutlery included a
large number of forks, with anywhere from two to five tines. These tines
are all straight, as opposed to curved, although the five tined variety
appears to be slightly splayed at the points. The many pieces recovered
are fragmentary - either tines or handles, but few pieces still
joined. The handles include a simple baluster stem with a terminal in
the form of a hoof, to elegant handles with terminals in the form of
serpents or of human torsos, among others. One wonders what was the
purpose of so many different styles of fork.

Thomas Coryat of Odcombe, near Yeovil, in a book titled "Coryat's
Curdities Hastily gobbled up in Five Months Travels in France, Savoy,
Italy, &c.," published in London, 1611, claims to be one of the first
Englishmen to use a fork. We see from his writing that while forks were
almost unknown in England, they were common in Italy and not unusual in
other parts of Europe.

I observed a custome in all those Italian Cities and Townes through
which I passed, that is not used in any other country that I saw in my
travels, neither do I thinke that any other nation of Christendome doth
use it, but only Italy. The Italian, and also most strangers that are
commorant in Italy, doe alwaies, at their meales use a little forke when
they cut the meate; for while with their knife, which they hold in one
hand, they cut the meate out of the dish, they fasten their forke which
they hold in their other hande, upon the same dish, so that whatsoever
he be that sitteth in the company of any others at meate, should
unadvisedly touch the dish of meate with his fingers, from which all at
the table doe cut he will give occasion of offence unto the company as
having transgressed the lawes of good manners, insomuch for his error he
shall be at least browbeaten, if not reprehended in words. This forme of
feeding I understand is generally used in all places of Italy, their
forks being for the most part made of yron or steele, and some of
silver, but those are used only by gentlemen. The reason of this their
curiosity, is because the Italian cannot by any means endure to have his
dish touched with fingers, seeing all men's fingers are not alike
cleane. Hereupon I myselfe thought good to imitate the Italian fashion
by this forked cutting of meate, not only while I was in Italy, but also
in Germany, and oftentimes in England, since I came home, being once
quipped for that frequent using of my forke by a certain learned
gentleman a familiar friend of mine, one Mr. Lawrence Whittaker, who in
his merry humour, doubted not to call me at table Furcifer, only for
using a forke at feeding but for no other cause.

The humor is, according to Bailey, in the use of "Furcifer" as a pun,
meaning fork-bearer, and also gallows-bird.

Ben Jonson also used forks as the basis of humor in two of his plays. In
"Volpone" (1606), Sir Politick Would-be instructs Peregrine most
humorously on correct behavior while in Italy, including "Then must you
learn the use and handling of your silver fork at meals." [Act IV Scene
I]. And in "The Devil is an Ass" (1616):

MEERCROFT, the projector. Upon my project of the forks . . .

SLEDGE. Forks! What be they?

MEERCROFT. The laudable use of forks, brought into custom here as they
are in Italy to the sparing of napkins . . .

In a slightly more serious vein, Henisch quotes a letter by one
Montaigne, of the late sixteenth century, as follows:

I could dine without a tablecloth, but to dine in the German fashion,
without a clean napkin, I should find very uncomfortable. I soil them
more than the Germans or Italians, as I make very little use of either
spoon or fork.

The earliest fork known to have been made in England is now in the
Victoria and Albert Museum. It bears the crests of John Manners, 8th
Earl of Rutland and his wife Frances, daughter of Edward Lord Montagu of
Boughton [Bailey]. It is two-tined and squarish, made of silver, and
bears the London hallmark for 1632-3 [Hayward].

In other parts of Europe, it became customary to make knives and forks
in sets. Better quality knives of the sixteenth century came in sets of
a dozen or more contained in a leather case, and included a fork to be
used for serving [Hayward]. This case or "stocke" is what the
inventories of Henry VIII refer to. Only very wealthy households would
provide knives for guests. It was much more common for people to carry
their own cutlery with them [Hayward, Bailey]. Even the inns were not
equipped with tableware, expecting the traveller to provide their own
[Bailey]. As forks became more common, sets of knife and fork, often
with a sheath or case for the pair, came into use. Some travelers had a
collapsible or folding set of knife, fork, and spoon [Giblin], much like
today's camping tableware.
It's All About Forks.
 
The list of signs and symptoms mentioned in various sources for Porphyria includes the 46 symptoms listed below:

* Urine color changes
* Darkened urine
* Nerve complication symptoms
o Chest pain
o Abdominal pain
o Muscle cramps
o Muscle weakness
o Hallucinations
o Seizures
o Depression
o Anxiety
o Paranoia
o High blood pressure
o Rapid pulse
o Fever
* Skin complication symptoms
o Skin blisters
o Skin itching
o Skin swelling
o Sun sensitivity
o Photosensitivity
o Paresthesias
o Hair growth abnormalities
o Skin pigment changes
* Gastrointestinal upset
o Abdominal pain
o Vomiting
o Nausea
o Constipation
* Skin symptoms
* Neurological symptoms
* Blisters
* Itchy skin
* Skin swelling on exposure to light
* Chest pain
* Abdominal pain
* Limb pain
* Back pain
* Muscle numbness
* Vomiting
* Constipation
* Personality changes
* Mental disorders
* Tingling
* Paralysis
* Cramping

Note that Porphyria symptoms usually refers to various symptoms known to a patient, but the phrase Porphyria signs may refer to those signs only noticable by a doctor.
 
Sweet FA said:
War's like that though. Death, despair, grief, limbs. But when it's gone, in a strange way, you miss it.
War is all this and more, a glass of fine wine that someone's dropped a dirty ferret into, a sorrowful poem that your dog's accidentally pissed on, a joyful musical with a tragic twist, like Fiddler on the Roof starring Rod Hull. War is war is war is yes.
 
Filthy drunken ferrets, canine pisspoems, twisty music, Fiddling Rod on the Roof. War is confusion. And 'yes' obviously. Best draw a veil.
 
Cockmonglernotext.jpg
 
either there's a million tons of historical subtext i've missed out on,
Thats the bugger. I have to say I am not normally irritated by idiots on tinternet, but for sheer self obsessed, insensitive (ask moomoo), lying (see crack/nirvana tours etc) bullshit fuckwittery this one really gets my goat.
 
May I make the point that posting up lots of large images randomly on threads is pretty inconsiderate to those using dial-up or paying by the meg.

One of the most irritating habits on urban.
 
Red Jezza said:
is that REALLY your best. christ, i'd give up....
frankly, your hatred of Cp is funny - you are so very, very similar

<reels from onslaught>
<changes his mind and laughs at twat>
 
Kizmet said:
May I make the point that posting up lots of large images randomly on threads is pretty inconsiderate to those using dial-up or paying by the meg.

One of the most irritating habits on urban.
Time for broadband.;)
 
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