Kingdom Of Heaven...

[david dissadent]

Funny how they kind of missed the bit where Saladin offered all of the knights from religous orders to convert to Islam or have there heads cut off. Maybe I missed it.

Having said that it felt like imperialist apologising material too me.

Oh and it was pretty shit as a film.

 

[frogwoman]

I really don't think it was. As El Jefe said, it was about as liberal as it could have possibly been.

"Those stupid Christians, the Muslims really didn't want to fight but the stupid far-right Christians only went and bloody forced the matter didn't they. Tsk. Good job the Muslims were so honourable."

Even the text at the end went "So anyway, the West had an honourable surrender, but then Richard the fucking Lionheart went over there and fucked it all up again, and would you believe it, it's still fucked. Richard!"

Oh my god!! i just realised i was talking about "the kingdom" ... and kingdom of heaven is a completely different film and one that I really liked!

 

[kyser_soze]

Like Gladiator, it played fast and loose with history. A pile of cack from start to finish.

I liked Gladiator in spite of its obvious historical inaccuracies.

Slight difference in class of leading men in those two movies tho. I think thats the kicker. KoH wouldve been much much better with different casting. I could almost feel the extras cringing as they were being delivered Orlando's rousing speech.

Agreed.

Agreed also. Bloom lacks meat both physically and oratorially. Crowe as Maximus also made what is almost an archetype character human...he also provided what I think is a genuinely convincing heroic male character, something very, very rare in modern cinema...

 

[rekil]

Tellingly, Bloom's previous roles have included 'rentboy' and 'elf'. And I've seen bowls of porridge with a wider range of facial expressions.

 

[david dissadent]

Agreed also. Bloom lacks meat both physically and oratorially. Crowe as Maximus also made what is almost an archetype character human...he also provided what I think is a genuinely convincing heroic male character, something very, very rare in modern cinema...

Crowe actualy looks like he could pick a sword up....... that helps.

 

[gabi]

Crowe actualy looks like he could pick a sword up....... that helps.

 

[Dan U]

Why did they cut out a lot of the battle scenes.... pointless, those are the best bits!

oh did they?

 

[Dan U]

Funny how they kind of missed the bit where Saladin offered all of the knights from religous orders to convert to Islam or have there heads cut off. Maybe I missed it.

they half referenced that.
it was 'convert to islam or safe passage' out.

 

[rover07]

Yeah, the battle when the army marches out to confront Saladin and gets slaughtered was totally cut.

Parts of the siege also.

 

[twister]

it was entertaining, I'll say no more than that. Oh and Eva Green kept it interesting

what more do you want on a sunday evening?

 

[Dan U]

Yeah, the battle when the army marches out to confront Saladin and gets slaughtered was totally cut.

i did wonder about that battle.

 

[beeboo]

Historical epics really aren't my thing, but that was tedious in the extreme. I did enjoy a nice nap in the second half though

 

[May Kasahara]

Didn't even bother trying with this. Orlando Bloom is a planky shitehawk, there's no way I can stick 2+ hours of his vapid mug all over the screen.

 

[jodal]

Kingdom of Heaven - Budget US$130M
Alexander - Budget US$155M
Total - US$285M

You'd think that kind of money would buy you more than two pieces of shit.

 

[nino_savatte]

Kingdom of Heaven - Budget US$130M
Alexander - Budget US$155M
Total - US$285M

You'd think that kind of money would buy you more than two pieces of shit.

That sort of money probably totals the national budget of Guatemala.

 

[gnoriac]

Visually great, storyline utterly predictable, Orlando Bloom lacks gravitas for that sort of part. All in all watchable but not great.
C4 have been putting on some right shite films on Sun night so at least it was a step in the right direction.

 

[Melinda]

"Let Them Come! Let Them Come!"
Accompanied by weak and vague arm gesture.

 

[Dissident Junk]

Historically, a pile of silk pantaloons.

I hated it. I hated hated hated it. It infuriated me.

 

[London_Calling]

In terms of us/them, goodies/badies, decent white folks/native heathens, heroic leadership/dummies, etc., etc., wasn't it Zulu, but with sand?

 

[El Jefe]

In terms of us/them, goodies/badies, decent white folks/native heathens, heroic leadership/dummies, etc., etc., wasn't it Zulu, but with sand?

No, not even nearly.

Have you seen it? Or are you just making it up?

 

[London_Calling]

El Jefe - you go yours, I'll go mine, that way we won't waste each others time

 

[El Jefe]

El Jefe - you go yours, I'll go mine, that way we won't waste each others time

Seemed like a reasonable question - were you guessing, or have you seen it?

 

[rekil]

Kingdom of Heaven - Budget US$130M

They could have shaved a few quid off by letting any one of these do Bloom's part.

 

[Dan U]

Historically, a pile of silk pantaloons.

I hated it. I hated hated hated it. It infuriated me.

it references quite a few things that i've read happened but played around with some time lines and a few other things.

what got your goat about it?

(i've just got to the fall of Jerusalem in the history of the crusades I am reading you see!)

 

[Badgers]

We did the 4dvd Directors Cut over the weekend.
It is a bit of a long slog but overall I liked it, battle scenes were well produced.

Not going to be one that I watch again in a hurry but did not think it was as bad as many posts on this thread.