Just what the fuck was Jesus on about?

[DotCommunist]

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household"

said stalin

 

[Idaho]

It's really very simple.

1. All religions are really the worship of one god. Worship him with love and love will be reflected back to you.

2. All people are the children of a loving god. Love each other and love will be reflected back to you.

3. Be nice to each other, be good to your family, don't worry yourself into unhappiness, be charitable when you can and unafraid to ask for help when you can't. Don't be mean to poor people, sick people, and those that society sneers at. Don't fight unjust institutions by attacking fellow victims of that institution. Have understanding, have wisdom, have respect. Be prepared for people to hate you for saying all that.

Great to have you around Jesus. Can't believe you have left it this long. Can you clear up a few points of confusion in the bible - did your parents own a house in Bethlehem or did they have to go there for the Roman census and stay in a stable?

 

[Dillinger4]

2 pages

proof that people on here will talk about anything

Still only one page for me, so I am not quite convinced.

 

[jesus christ]

If someone could let me know what in Jesus' name he was on about with all that fig smiting business, I'd be much obliged.

Complete mistranslations. Look, this whole thing has gotten rather silly. I did loads more than they say, but didn't do all the stuff they said I've done. Some of it wasn't even me. Plus, only a few people write it down, and then it was copied by people who weren't there, and then codified, and then all the bits that didn't suit the *spit* Christian Church were gotten rid off. Really, just stick to the bits that say "be nice to each other" and don't worry too much about the rest.

Idaho, neither, they lived some way away at the time of the census but still travelled, but not an unfeasible distance. Not sure why people get het up over it, it wasn't the incredible journey. Though I am told that a manger was indeed used to lay me in, being that the room they rented was basic at least and they needed somewhere to stick me.

 

[fogbat]

Hi. I'm the son of god and I'd like to talk to you today about rejecting all you believe in and follow me to my dad's place.
It's really cool up there, no demons with pitchforks or lakes of fire and brimstone to torment you in .
You get to burn old women that you don't like in a couple of centuries and priests can shag little boys and get away with it.
I should mention that some of you will get fed to lions by the Romans.
By the way no condoms and you have to have silent support for Nazi Germany but that's handy later when a Pope will have been a member of the Hitler youth.
Paul here will give you the rest of the rules.

If only there were a nicer, more peaceful religion. With no nutters attached to it, and no revolting history.

Like Islam, or something

 

[kyser_soze]

Liberal conspiracy theorist who heard voices in his head when that sort of thing was more socially acceptable.

 

[bluestreak]

Liberal conspiracy theorist who heard voices in his head when that sort of thing was more socially acceptable.

Kind of like David Icke?

 

[kyser_soze]

Yup. Only without the lizards...UNLESSSSSSSSSSS...they censored JC, but used him as a symbolic figurehead to set up the RC Church, cos obviously they'd have been in charge of the Roman Empire...

 

[Stigmata]

Jesus was a bit of a doomsday prophet, as was the trend in that part of the world at the time. He basically told people how to prepare for the end of the world, which people thought was just around the corner (when haven't they?) and criticised the religious establishment. That's about the size of it.

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household"

I suspect in the context of just about everything else he said that he didn't have violent struggle in mind.

"You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second resembles it: You must love your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments hang the whole law, and the prophets also"

 

[jesus christ]

Well Fruitloop, that quote is taken out of context as Stigmata says above. Sorry, Stigmata, by the way. I can assure you the marks are nothing to do with us but are due to a frailty of human psychiatry. The sword is the sword of division, division between those who chose love and those who chose hate. Love is the hardest path, hate the easiest. And they will hate you for your love.

 

[camouflage]

He is hijacked all the time by psychopaths, but the man, the prophet

some of the stories he wa meant to have told are brilliant

what do you tink he was talking about?

Socialism!

 

[Azrael]

The thread title is a pretty accurate description of a theologian's job description for the past two millennia!

The problem with finding the "historical Jesus" lies in the extreme unreliability of the gospels as historical documents. In addition to the anonymity of their authors, they're clearly conversion vehicles with no concern for historical reliability in a modern sense. (St. Luke, alleged historian, invents a census to get Jesus born in the right place.)

"Proving" that Jesus is Christ is the overriding gospel priority, and everything else is dragooned into service.

This goes for most ancient documents (Tacitus invented all sorts of things) but the gospels, referring as they do to events that occurred in an imperial backwater, with no contemporary corroboration, are particularly susceptible.

 

[Jonti]

2 pages

proof that people on here will talk about anything

If anything, the OP was a little too precise. Try something more general next time, like

WtF?

 

[teahead]

Why not ask him?
I understand his life is internal, so he should be around here somewhere.

 

[bluestreak]

Who, jesus or the OP?

 

[teahead]

Who, jesus or the OP?

too early in the morning... makes me sound like some kind of nutcase psychologist innit

Meant: I understand his life is eternal. soz.

 

[isitme]

Who, jesus or the OP?

it is easy to get confused sometimes, my son

 

[teahead]

it is easy to get confused sometimes, my son

Thank you father, for I have sinned. And enjoyed it, verily.

 

[Fruitloop]

I can't see anything in the context of the passage that I quoted (here) that indicates it means something substantially different to what it appears to say, although there's no doubt about its apparent incompatibility with what he says elsewhere - particularly in later gospels.

 

[rover07]

It's really very simple.

1. All religions are really the worship of one god. Worship him with love and love will be reflected back to you.

2. All people are the chil...

Stop that now.

Crucifiction for you...line on the left ...one cross each.

 

[frogwoman]

i'm really not sure but whatever it was the jews didn't care for it

lol dc, why do you have such an obsession with jews?

 

[gorski]

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household"

He was a revolutionary, indeed...

Oh, hang on: but then the interpreters came on-board... and whomever they addressed they altered the "message" accordingly... to get them on-board... guess why...

 

[camouflage]

lol dc, why do you have such an obsession with jews?

Struck by your talent an good looks probably.

 

[frogwoman]

Struck by your talent an good looks probably.

 

[Fruitloop]

He was a revolutionary, indeed...

Oh, hang on: but then the interpreters came on-board... and whomever they addressed they altered the "message" accordingly... to get them on-board... guess why...

The rot started with John in my opinion.

Interestingly he was the one that first placed the emphasis on the Jews in the crucifixion story, although he was likely referring to the Sanhedrin.

 

[isitme]

my guess re: the emphasis on the jewish thing is probably as much down to the agenda of the King James bible as it is to do with any of the books in their original language

 

[EddyBlack]

The rot started with John in my opinion.

Interestingly he was the one that first placed the emphasis on the Jews in the crucifixion story, although he was likely referring to the Sanhedrin.

At the end of John it says that it was all based on what Peter told him, there are also books by Peter under his name in the New Testament.

I don't get the idea that it is anti-semitic though, oh right it says that Jewish people had Jesus killed, that must just be anti-semitism then.

 

[purplex]

At the end of John it says that it was all based on what Peter told him, there are also books by Peter under his name in the New Testament.

I don't get the idea that it is anti-semitic though, oh right it says that Jewish people had Jesus killed, that must just be anti-semitism then.

There is a series currently running on channel 4 called the history of christianity. The first episode ran last week it, should be on the channel 4 iplayer. It touched on some of the anti-semitism thats followed in the wake of christianity. Shocking stuff.

 

[Jonti]

my guess re: the emphasis on the jewish thing is probably as much down to the agenda of the King James bible as it is to do with any of the books in their original language

This is something I could never work out, it just doesn't make sense. As any fool knows, the stories all say Roman soldiers killed Jesus; they literally nailed him for saying it would be to be nice to each other for a change.

That sort of thing would annoy a proper Roman, I can see that

 

[gentlegreen]

I thought the idea was he'd pissed off the pharisees.