Just 17 and homeless...advice please

[Ceej]

not remotely heroic, just majorly pissed off at his mum and at the system for youngsters in general....enough to galvanise my lazy arse into action. I'm trying not to project....but some people really don't deserve their children.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Quite apart from helping the kid find a place to stay, the very fact that there's someone in his family who hasn't fucked him off as a pointless inconvenience is going to mean the world I'm sure. This seems like the kind of tipping point where one decent person stepping in can change the whole direction of a person's life for the better.

As for the mother, there are no words really. I've seen a similar situation recently with a lad who has come out of hospital barely able to walk after a drug overdose and a severe kicking from the filth and has then been thrown out of his mum's house after 24 hours because the mum's partner (a proud racist and general-purpose horrid cunt) didn't want him there. So now he's back to sofa surfing, sleeping rough and hoovering up drugs

 

[Ceej]

........ because the mum's partner (a proud racist and general-purpose horrid cunt) didn't want him there.

See, this is the bit I don't get - if she'd binned him for being an addict, and she'd been driven to the edge, I'd like to think I wouldn't do it myself, but I'd be more understanding...but because her bloke 'didn't want him there' ?
I hope she's ready for the phone call that's heading her way.

 

[purenarcotic]

.

 

[weepiper]

See, this is the bit I don't get - if she'd binned him for being an addict, and she'd been driven to the edge, I'd like to think I wouldn't do it myself, but I'd be more understanding...but because her bloke 'didn't want him there' ?
I hope she's ready for the phone call that's heading her way.

her bloke sounds abusive. I'm glad A has you to stand up for him

 

[moomoo]

See, this is the bit I don't get - if she'd binned him for being an addict, and she'd been driven to the edge, I'd like to think I wouldn't do it myself, but I'd be more understanding...but because her bloke 'didn't want him there' ?
I hope she's ready for the phone call that's heading her way.

You'd think her kid would come before some bloke wouldn't you??!

I was on my own in London when I was 17 because my dad ran away to Morocco. I didn't even know how to use a washing machine, never mind how to pay a bill! I ended up going to live with a chap in Basildon. That's how bad it was.

He's very lucky to have you. Give his mum a slap for me.

 

[Greebo]

See, this is the bit I don't get - if she'd binned him for being an addict, and she'd been driven to the edge, I'd like to think I wouldn't do it myself, but I'd be more understanding...but because her bloke 'didn't want him there' ? <snip>

Just not on - IMHO the very least people owe to any offspring is that (where humanly possible) their welfare comes first while they're under the age of majority.

 

[Johnny Doe]

You'd think her kid would come before some bloke wouldn't you??!

I was on my own in London when I was 17 because my dad ran away to Morocco. I didn't even know how to use a washing machine, never mind how to pay a bill! I ended up going to live with a chap in Basildon. That's how bad it was.

He's very lucky to have you. Give his mum a slap for me.

Basildon! (((moomoo)))

 

[Quartz]

Ceej the world needs more people like you. Well done.

 

[Manter]

It's very difficult if not impossible not to judge people who abandon their children, imho. Glad he had you to help him out Ceej

 

[sovereignb]

Well, that was an education. I'm sure the Children's Social Care officer won't object if I refer to him as Mr. Cliche of Cliche Street, Clicheville - we could have played buzzword bingo.
There was lots of wriggling going on, and lots of obstacles thrown in the way - including him at one point refusing to speak to me as I wasn't a parent! I asked him how many parents personally bring their thrown-out kids to these kind of meetings to chuck them at the state, but unfortunately he did not have that information at his fingertips. I also asked how many parents provided a letter of estragement - he didn't have that figure either.

Thanks to all the info here, and particularly the steer from renegadechicken (I printed out the Southwark judgement and ostentatiously referred to it several times - to Mr Cliche's annoyance) he's been given temporary accommodation in a hostel for young people in Camden and is being 'assessed' - they were very fluffy about the timescales involved, but I had their assurance that A will be housed for at least the next 28 days. But I'm on the case now.

A says thank you too x

Not to try and defend Mr Cliché , but as someone who is in that field of work, there are many parents who try and palm off there kids because they think theyll "get a flat". Often parents do attend such meetings. Its Cliché's job to try get as much "evidence" as possible that that's not the case. I cant comment on how this character was and I guess it all depends on how the interaction is on the day.

Did everything go well in the end?

 

[treefrog]

You're a fucking star ceej.

 

[quimcunx]

Not to try and defend Mr Cliché , but as someone who is in that field of work, there are many parents who try and palm off there kids because they think theyll "get a flat". Often parents do attend such meetings. Its Cliché's job to try get as much "evidence" as possible that that's not the case. I cant comment on how this character was and I guess it all depends on how the interaction is on the day.

Did everything go well in the end?

If you're in the field do you think you might have some advice for this thread? http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...ome-urb-support-of-this.338667/#post-14137338

 

[Ceej]

Not to try and defend Mr Cliché , but as someone who is in that field of work, there are many parents who try and palm off there kids because they think theyll "get a flat". Often parents do attend such meetings. Its Cliché's job to try get as much "evidence" as possible that that's not the case. I cant comment on how this character was and I guess it all depends on how the interaction is on the day.
Did everything go well in the end?

Maybe I do him a disservice, but he did appear to have a list of very standard questions, and no answers and no empathy .... and he didn't make eye contact once. He also tried to send A away with an information sheet, and told him to 'find some help' despite our making his situation really clear. He is young, and looks much younger and was obviously distressed - I'm sure there are people who do try and play the system, but he wasn't acting. He's in a hostel for young people - originally for 30 days, it's been extended for a further 90 so he's ok till the end of the year.

 

[Chilli.s]

Well done and thanks for the update. Can you keep us posted with any further developments please?

 

[marty21]

good news - Ceej

I work in housing, so if you need any advice/assistance, pm me.

 

[Ceej]

Thanks, marty21 - will do. He's a sound lad - he's more cheerful now he has some stability (and a bed and a shower!) and looking for a job that'll pay enough for a room at least - he's got an interview with Sainsburys next week. Hold a good thought.

 

[sovereignb]

Maybe I do him a disservice, but he did appear to have a list of very standard questions, and no answers and no empathy .... and he didn't make eye contact once. He also tried to send A away with an information sheet, and told him to 'find some help' despite our making his situation really clear. He is young, and looks much younger and was obviously distressed - I'm sure there are people who do try and play the system, but he wasn't acting. He's in a hostel for young people - originally for 30 days, it's been extended for a further 90 so he's ok till the end of the year.

Cheers for the update

Ultimately he would not be in a position to offer a place immediately after the meeting...checks and management discussions etc. I stated before they would probably try mediation to see if the situation can be rectified, hence the info pack in case he is really stuck in the interim. And yes you know your young man wasn't acting, the social worker doesn't necessarily. Really not trying to discredit what your saying, just trying to give the other point of view. If his mother is really resistant to take him back, they will definitely continue to accommodate. If he's got his head screwed on and takes on the support around him hopefully he'll be fine. Maybe its a blessing in disguise that he's away from his excuse of a mother and her partner.

 

[sovereignb]

If you're in the field do you think you might have some advice for this thread? http://www.urban75.net/forums/threa...ome-urb-support-of-this.338667/#post-14137338

I just had a brief look, but I work with under 21s.

Is there no way this abuse can be reported to the Police? Does this young man have any learning difficulties?
If he is registered blind, do Barnet Council not have an Adults Disability team - they can maybe help with carers and again housing?
It would make sense to defer Uni for a bit if possible.

 

[quimcunx]

Cheers, he doesn't want to involve the police right now. Not apart from being blind, that I know of. He's contacted a lot of people but the controlling abuse makes contact difficult and various agencies who have been contacted have been of little help. You could well be right about uni.

 

[Ceej]

Just an update - A has been granted secure hostel accommodation for young people to 30 June 16 - just before his 18th. His grandad pressurised his mother into writing a letter of estrangement... 'I confirm my son A and I are permanently estranged' and a signature. Humph. He's shelf-stacking in sainsburys and much more settled. Thanks to everyone who gave us the ammunition, special mention to renegadechicken. Xx