JOBS THAT NEVER PREVIOUSLY EXISTED #892: Set Designer For Grifty Arseholes Who Get Sacked & Become Self-Facilitating Media Nodes In Their Garden Shed

[DaveCinzano]

Is there an approved career path for this? Perhaps a specialised Free School is offering a bespoke vocational qualification?

Gakdad & Dobbin:


Catfish Wootton:


Am I too old to reskill? What are the entry requirements? Is there a decent remuneration package?

 

[JimW]

Do you have to supply the edgelord framed prints or is that on the client? Payment in advance only essential.

 

[Silas Loom]

If you get a job lot of those armchairs and sofas and can do them at wholesale prices, I’d be interested.

 

[brogdale]

Gakdad & Dobbin

Another Bishops spluttered over keyboard moment!

 

[cupid_stunt]

If you get a job lot of those armchairs and sofas and can do them at wholesale prices, I’d be interested.

I am sitting in an armchair like that, and now I feel dirty.

 

[DaveCinzano]

If you get a job lot of those armchairs and sofas and can do them at wholesale prices, I’d be interested.

Have a word with Tim Martin

 

[JimW]

I am sitting in an armchair like that, and now I feel dirty.

Turn your webcam on and there's a fair chance you'll have more viewers than them if you give it ten minutes.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Payment in advance only essential.

WhatsApp me your blockchain wallet and I'll sort that out straight away

 

[DaveCinzano]

Turn your webcam on and there's a fair chance you'll have more viewers than them if you give it ten minutes.

We'll have none of that metric nonsense here - it's twelve minutes or a bushel of seconds

 

[DaveCinzano]

WhatsApp me your blockchain wallet and I'll sort that out straight away

And I do mean STRAIGHT

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

As soon as someone invents bi lighting for gammons you could be lighting director too.

 

[Throbbing Angel]

"Yes, I'd like 5 yards of leatherbound books please."

 

[DaveCinzano]

"Yes, I'd like 5 yards of leatherbound books please."

I worked at a art gallery where the owner would buy vast quantities of tatty antiquarian books just so we could cut out all the lithographic illustrations to frame and sell on to pub furnishing companies and interior decorators

 

[JimW]

"Yes, I'd like 5 yards of leatherbound books please."

it's going to be the 1911 Empire Book for Boys, isn't it?

 

[DaveCinzano]

I worked at a art gallery where the owner would buy vast quantities of tatty antiquarian books just so we could cut out all the lithographic illustrations to frame and sell on to pub furnishing companies and interior decorators

He still owes me £20 for watering his weed plants and dusting his Dreadzone CDs (true story)

 

[DaveCinzano]

Turn your webcam on and there's a fair chance you'll have more viewers than them if you give it ten minutes.

What's a cupid_stunt OnlyFans sub cost these days anyway?

 

[hitmouse]

He still owes me £20 for watering his weed plants and dusting his Dreadzone CDs (true story)

Briefly misread this as being about the Fantastic Mister Fox.

 

[cupid_stunt]

What's a cupid_stunt OnlyFans sub cost these days anyway?

Just $50 per month, but if you PM your card details, I'll do you a half price deal.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Just $50 per month, but if you PM your card details, I'll do you a half price deal.

What's that - I only have to watch you for two weeks?

 

[marty21]

That Darren Grimes character went down that route , started a website when he was first sacked from GBNEWS, some sort of home for free speech then managed to get a gig back at GBNEWS so no idea if he is still protecting free speech or the website is still going. Maybe because he was sitting on his hands for the whole fake vicar , failed actor/singer , kiwi free speech warrior thing was going on , so couldn't do anything to protect free speech

 

[DaveCinzano]

That Darren Grimes character went down that route , started a website when he was first sacked from GBNEWS, some sort of home for free speech then managed to get a gig back at GBNEWS so no idea if he is still protecting free speech or the website is still going. Maybe because he was sitting on his hands for the whole fake vicar , failed actor/singer , kiwi free speech warrior thing was going on , so couldn't do anything to protect free speech

So many silenced free speechers, so many paid-for platforms - what's a grift-enabler to do?

 

[davesgcr]

Track Access Manager - on the railways - a lawyer rich feast of process and delays , ditto compliance manager and all that sort of regulatory nonesense that pretend commercialisation and the levels above it in the DfT and certain characters thrive on. About 99% redundant ........but "we are , where we are" - an example , the extension of one simple commuter train in the morning from Beckenham Junction to Bromley South - a simple shunt- required a 3 month consultation to the whole UK .......no wonder the railway costs twice what BR did. (sigh)

 

[Funky_monks]

I worked at a art gallery where the owner would buy vast quantities of tatty antiquarian books just so we could cut out all the lithographic illustrations to frame and sell on to pub furnishing companies and interior decorators

I bought a few books on the topic of my degree (aquatic biology) like that, with the intention of doing just that, but it felt sacrilegious somehow and so the books sit, unmolested on my bookshelf.

 

[wemakeyousoundb]

He still owes me £20 for watering his weed plants and dusting his Dreadzone CDs (true story)

what did you dust the CDs with?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

"self-facilitating media nodes" - is that a term from Nathan Barley?

 

[jontz01]

I am sitting in an armchair like that, and now I feel dirty.

Nowt wrong with a decent chesterfield mate.

 

[DaveCinzano]

"self-facilitating media nodes" - is that a term from Nathan Barley?

Absolute actionable calumny

But it is well weapon TBF

 

[Cid]

It's not a bad gig, but I'd avoid the production side if you don't already have experience. Entry level positions usually include tasks like fluffing the commentators' air quotes fingers, and massaging them afterwards.