Is this the cheekiest work colleague ever?

[Treacle Toes]

actually, they said 'it's my lunch'

Okay which obviously meant no....

 

[Yetman]

bone her..

With an actual bone. Hers. Removed from her forearm with a cold spanner

 

[Spymaster]

People who help themselves to your food are a pet hate of mine, the fuckers drive me insane.

I had a colleague like this a few years ago, you could guarantee that if you had any snacky stuff lying around he'd walk up and grab one of something .

So, I bought 6 nuggets from McDonalds and filled the space between the chicken and the coating with chilly sauce. Not any chilly sauce mind, this stuff was brought back from the West Indies and was so fierce that it had to be dispensed via an eye-dropper. I made the doctored nugget an obvious one to pick and pretty soon matey boy came along and scoffed it.

Shortly afterwards he started screaming and spent most of the afternoon in the bogs with his mouth under the tap. Didn't do it again.

At school many years ago a kid tried to help himself to a chip off my plate and I stuck a fork through the back of his hand.

 

[strung out]

Okay which obviously meant no....

if you mean no, then say no. obviously.

 

[Treacle Toes]

if you mean no, then say no. obviously.

....they didn't want her to eat their crisps, made it clear but the cheeky cow did it anyway. It was cheeky even if she did it in jest.

I love the bit: 'when I see crisps I have to have one'...when it fact need and want are two different things.

 

[Onket]

Should have said no instead of being all British about it. Stella got it right on the other page.

 

[strung out]

....they didn't want her to eat their crisps, made it clear but the cheeky cow did it anyway.

in what way did they 'make it clear'?

 

[holteman]

id wait till i see her next then bend her over and fuck her in the poop shoot....

when she cries rape just say "sorry but when i see a women i just have to have one"


i am fairly certain this will stand up in court*


* you will face 8=10 years

 

[Treacle Toes]

in what way did they 'make it clear'?

In the same way that you are clearly being deliberately obtuse now.

HTH!!!!

 

[strung out]

if you don't want someone to eat your crisps, say no when they ask, and move them out of reach if necessary. if someone's precious enough to not let a collague have one of their crisps though, they probably deserve to have one nicked anyway.

 

[Badgers]

Flavour?

 

[Onket]

Spatchcock somethingorother.

 

[5t3IIa]

My colleague gave me a clementine and a banana today

 

[kyser_soze]

My colleague gave me a clementine and a banana today

Obviously your colleague is a nicer, more generous and kind-hearted person than Me76. It must be nice being in an office where people give.

 

[DotCommunist]

if you don't want someone to eat your crisps, say no when they ask, and move them out of reach if necessary. if someone's precious enough to not let a collague have one of their crisps though, they probably deserve to have one nicked anyway.

/thread

Who could be such a miser to deny someone a single crisp? It's not like someones leant in and cut your fillet mignon in half and nicked the half. Come on. A crisp. It's like begrudging a single rizla.

 

[kyser_soze]

Who could be such a miser to deny someone a single crisp?

Me76, Spymaster and possibly Rutita.

 

[boing!]

I think it all comes down to whether you like the person. If someone you like asks you for a crisp you probably wouldn't think twice about letting them have a crisp, but if its a particularly annoying colleague who's every movement and utterence annoys you, then it will be another reason to resent them even more.

Also, depends on the flavour of crisps.

 

[Treacle Toes]

Me76, Spymaster and possibly Rutita.

I don't eat crisps much and would gladly give someone a crisp BUT I do think this colleague was cheeky for just taking one....It was clear enough imo that Me76 didn't want them to have one, regardless of whether folk think that's misery they were Me76's and they have every right not to share them.

 

[sojourner]

Also depends on the size of the bag of crisps

those supermarket own brand jobbies only have about 5 measly crisps in them, whereas a Walkers GrabBag is massive

 

[sojourner]

Funnily enough I am currently eating a butty and a bag of crisps, and if someone walked up to me now and asked for a crisp, I'd probably say 'yeh, just the one mind, that's my fucking tea'

 

[Griff]

Much worse than stealing crisps, we used to have a fag-ponce in our office.

What he cunt he was.

 

[Me76]

I think the OP is a woman.

This is correct

I think the flavour of the crisps is a big deal.

They were Thai Chilli Kettle Chips

Okay which obviously meant no....

It did

Should have said no instead of being all British about it.

I understand this is true - and in any other environment apart from this work one where I still have three months to go until I pass my probation, I would have

....they didn't want her to eat their crisps, made it clear but the cheeky cow did it anyway. It was cheeky even if she did it in jest.

I love the bit: 'when I see crisps I have to have one'...when it fact need and want are two different things.

This....have some self control!! How the hell does she walk into a newsagent??

/thread

Who could be such a miser to deny someone a single crisp? It's not like someones leant in and cut your fillet mignon in half and nicked the half. Come on. A crisp. It's like begrudging a single rizla.

I am quite mizerly, although I do understand your point. It was more the vulture like hanging around and then the principal of taking it anyway!

I think it all comes down to whether you like the person. If someone you like asks you for a crisp you probably wouldn't think twice about letting them have a crisp, but if its a particularly annoying colleague who's every movement and utterence annoys you, then it will be another reason to resent them even more.

Also, depends on the flavour of crisps.

This is true, she is a generally annoying cow who obviously doesn't like me either as she seems to cut me dead every time I speak to her about something that isn't work related. Although my Thai Chilli crisps are obviously perfectly acceptable!

 

[crustychick]

I might be annoyed if it was my last crisp and i was really looking forward to it, but a single crisp from a whole new bag? Grow up.

 

[crustychick]

Also, it should be noted that you would probably have gotten rid of said annoying colleague quicker if you had offered her a crisp in the first place. that was probably the true reason she was actually hanging around for so long!

 

[strung out]

I understand this is true - and in any other environment apart from this work one where I still have three months to go until I pass my probation, I would have

if you're still on probation, i'd take it on the chin. the odd crisp isn't worth losing your job over.

 

[quimcunx]

Always, always keep crisps, nuts and other office snack food in a closed drawer and open and close as required, and only once you've checked the area for errant colleagues.

When on the move keep them in a pocket only removing one at a time, preferably concealed in your hand until the last moment.

 

[sojourner]

I've just thought of a better response

Should have said 'yes sure, you can have ONE', and then smashed them up with your fists, so they're teeny tiny ickle crisps

 

[Clair De Lune]

I'd have a word with your boss if I were you, get the bitch fired.

 

[Treacle Toes]

I'd have a word with your boss if I were you, get the bitch fired.

 

[Treacle Toes]

I've just thought of a better response

Should have said 'yes sure, you can have ONE', and then smashed them up with your fists, so they're teeny tiny ickle crisps