Is my TV fucked?!?

[Tank Girl]

 

[sheothebudworths]

Don't listen to her, she's most likely a spy, and spies have no place now, for it's war, it's WAR I SAY, and you should go outside right now and stab a man, stab him with a knife, it doesn't matter who he is, or what side he's on, there are no sides any more as sides are a fragile construct of a vain and conceited society, and so you should stab him right in the leg over and over again, and shout to him as you do so, 'CONGRATULATIONS SIR, IT'S WAR'.

Will do.












(That should also relieve the extreme boredom that comes from residing for almost one and a half hours in a war torn house that is almost completely uninhabitable what with it not having a working telly )

 

[Tank Girl]

quick! get under the table!

 

[Tank Girl]

*retires for the night*

no room for you I'm afraid sheo.

 

[sheothebudworths]

sheo and her bezzers down the allotment

That's me in the middle, laughing at our silly trousers, pulled up almost to our ears....'Oooh we look like Simon Cowell, we do ...' is what I'm saying.

 

[Tank Girl]

simon cowell invented war.

 

[sheothebudworths]

quick! get under the table!

You don't have a table!


Ha!



You'll be laughing on the other side of yer face come morning!





















(Will you watch Jeremy Kyle for me Tanky? )

 

[Tank Girl]

I've got a fucking nissan hut sheo

and I do have a table now

I can't watch jeremy kyle, I'm afraid, it makes me violent.

 

[mauvais]

The allotment is gone now, just a mess of mud and rickety buildings. It's much like it was before but with a nasty crop of tragedy growing right in the middle and noone's got any weedkiller to pour all over everything in the hope of maybe killing it off. I thought I'd seen a radish for a moment, a kind of pale red vegetably hope amongst the gloom, but it wasn't, it was a grenade, a live grenade, I threw it at an old man stood muttering about seeds, he got away from the blast but I blew up his shed, and in a strange way that shed was a metaphor for the past, a past which has exploded and come showering down on us with bits of rake falling everywhere, a past where the angry man is chasing me, chasing me like the terrible truth of what we've become.

 

[marty21]

i'll give you all my rations sheo

 

[sheothebudworths]

That was no old man mauvais....that was heo.









You scored something of an own goal there.







I'm going to have to retire to one of Brightons famous underground tube stations now, where I might grab a few hours sleep with all the other poor war torn folk who have no telly before rising in the morning to make my way down to Currys where I shall bathe in the warmth of the glow from the window display and hopefully catch Jeremy Kyle with no sound.

Which is not such a bad thing after all.

 

[sheothebudworths]

i'll give you all my rations sheo

I appreciate the gesture marty, although I'd simply fuckin take 'em from you if you didn't give 'em to me, to be fair.

 

[marty21]

I appreciate the gesture marty, although I'd simply fuckin take 'em from you if you didn't give 'em to me, to be fair.

i only have the spam rations left

tanky nicked all the picked eggs rations

 

[sheothebudworths]

Whatever you have, is mine marty.

 

[mauvais]

Heo and his shed are a lesson to us all, another brutal human toll, collateral damage in this awful conflict, another terrible act of destruction by the tyrants that crush the hope of millions here. You can't claim on the insurance and go to B&Q or Homebase and simply get a new shed and assemble it yourself where the old one was and buy a new rake from somewhere similar and carry on as if nothing has happened, because it has happened, and we can never forget, and of course you can forget and you can do exactly that but that's not war and I won't report it!

 

[sheothebudworths]

He made that shed with his own bare hands.










Goodnight.

 

[Tank Girl]

i only have the spam rations left

tanky nicked all the picked eggs rations

it's a bit fragrant in the shelter

that's the neighbours

 

[marty21]

all my rations gone

 

[Tank Girl]

I've got some powdered egg left, it's yours if you want it marty

 

[mauvais]

Goodnight Sheo and Heo and the burning bits of shed and all the tiny rake prongs everywhere and Spy Girl and whatever's left of marty21 I think just one mangled shoe and all the other victims of war

 

[Tank Girl]

g'night mauvais, musn't grumble hey

 

[marty21]

I've got some powdered egg left, it's yours if you want it marty

s'ok, gonna watch some war time telly to cheer meself up

 

[Pip]

I've got a TV you can have if you like, but it needs a new plug. I bought a new plug to put on it but couldn't bloody open it, you might need an electric screwdriver. I live in Streatham and I'd imagine you'd need a car as it's quite big.

 

[Tank Girl]

 

[sheothebudworths]

JUST STAB ME IN THE BACK WHY DON'T YOU MARTY?!?




<sobs uncontrollably>

 

[sheothebudworths]

(LOL @ Tanky's new tagline btw )

 

[sheothebudworths]

I've got a TV you can have if you like, but it needs a new plug. I bought a new plug to put on it but couldn't bloody open it, you might need an electric screwdriver. I live in Streatham and I'd imagine you'd need a car as it's quite big.

Aw thankyou Enid ....that's a really kind offer, but I live in Brighton and have no access to a car ....no worries, we'll sort something...could probably borrow one pretty easily for a bit even if we have to wait to buy one....and until then, well I dunno....we might just have to start having sex again or something.....

 

[sheothebudworths]

(me and heo obviously, not you and I, Enid! )

 

[sheothebudworths]

I really am going to bed now.



Night all xxxx

 

[Pip]

(me and heo obviously, not you and I, Enid! )

But I offered you my telly!