Is Jeremy Kyle human?

[wishface]

The latter. You have to chill.

Ironically those guests who, perhaps wrongly, 'protest' their innocence after Bishop Kyle has pronounced the verdict of his inquisition may well be just that having deceived the test by virtue of their own conviction. It's a stupid system that makes for 'great' tv. But what's more worrying is the acceptance of this method, among those who think airing their problems on national tv, to the point where they offer themselves up as sacrifical lambs to the polygraphic altar.

 

[snouty warthog]

So what's the best way to beat a lie detector then? Work yourself up onto panic-attack levels of frenzy so that even the "Is this your real name?" questions send the wibbler off the graph, or take it so chilled out the Fonz would feel out of his depth (possibly aided with a cheeky benzo?) and give zero readings for all your answers?

see my above post for technique, but- you artificially increase the baseline readings for neutral questions. you can chill yourself out, but you can't control such things as perspiration, which is affected by the stress of lying and is controlled by the central nervous system... but you can artificially increase your response to neutral stimulus.

I have never had a lie-detector test by the way.... did anyone else hear about a criminal who the police caught by wiring him up to a photocopier, from a colander placed on his head? inside the copier was a sheet of paper that said 'he's lying'... every time the crim said something where they didn't believe him, the policeman got up and pressed 'copy' and, out came the lie-detector's verdict...! he eventually 'coughed', as they say... possibly urban myth...

 

[nino_savatte]

see my above post for technique, but- you artificially increase the baseline readings for neutral questions. you can chill yourself out, but you can't control such things as perspiration, which is affected by the stress of lying and is controlled by the central nervous system... but you can artificially increase your response to neutral stimulus.

I have never had a lie-detector test by the way.... did anyone else hear about a criminal who the police caught by wiring him up to a photocopier, from a colander placed on his head? inside the copier was a sheet of paper that said 'he's lying'... every time the crim said something where they didn't believe him, the policeman got up and pressed 'copy' and, out came the lie-detector's verdict...! he eventually 'coughed', as they say... possibly urban myth...

Of course people who suffer from hyperhydrosis are automatically pronounced guilty.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Of course people who suffer from hyperhydrosis are automatically pronounced guilty.

Yeah, burn the guilty sweaty bastards!!

 

[zenie]

Just getting my daily kyle fix right now

 

[KeyboardJockey]

The lie detector phenomena is the worst example of this culture: the reliance on technology that isn't perfect (in fact if you notice it's succes rate has dropped over the years) and isn't legally admissible (IIRC) creates a kind of Dear Deidre McCarthyism in front of a baying audience who presume guilt over innocence based on this stupid device. Truly frightening!

Well said.

And while I'm about it why oh why does Deirdre have such a downer on group sex?? I've been reading her piss poor column for years and every fucking one that mentions group sex or anything like that is met with the phrase 'it won't work. Your place is with your husband/wife'

You are right there is a touch of the McCarthy's about Deirdre.