Is Jeremy Kyle human?

[subversplat]

I like Jeremy Kyle!

Thank you! I thought I was going to be the first person to come on here and go "I quite like it actually "

I especially like how he tries to be good cop/bad cop in one person. In onemoment he's all "You want to work this out, we'll help you, just tell the truth, etc." and then five minutes later he's screaming at them about being lying, cheating, cannabis fiends! It's hilarious.

 

[BadlyDrawnGirl]

Jeremy Kyle is a noxious little shit; the attention-seeking spod at school with the Napoleonic complex who wanted to join the police force just so he could fit people up. In other words, the new Kilroy-Silk.

 

[Yetman]

cos he doesnt give a shit.

He's totally fuckin out of order to his guests sometimes but that can be good and it's very entertaining!

I only realised he was the same guy that did jezzas confessions on capital late nights a few months ago - and I love him on that too

He doesnt give a shit? Too right, when he's got some woman who's been the victim of serious long term physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her psycho ex-partner, and he's basically telling her its her fault because she didnt do certain things at the time, or didnt handle things a certain way then yeah, its obvious he doesnt give a shit - pity someone in his position should know when and when not to give a shit eh.

I assume you didnt see that show mate

 

[dolly's gal]

Bring back Victorian repression and a sense of SHAME about how your 85 yr old father is chasing the 16 yr old next door neighbour and they are noisy in their passion FFS!

the one's i watch only ever seem to be about paternity and lie detector tests. i've been missin oot!

 

[Yetman]

Thank you! I thought I was going to be the first person to come on here and go "I quite like it actually "

I especially like how he tries to be good cop/bad cop in one person. In onemoment he's all "You want to work this out, we'll help you, just tell the truth, etc." and then five minutes later he's screaming at them about being lying, cheating, cannabis fiends! It's hilarious.

Yeah the show can be hilarious but he's still no better than a rotten shit filled dead hyenas arsehole in my book.

 

[nino_savatte]

Kyle is no altruist; he doesn't do this show to help folk. On the contrary, it's a piece of entertainment and he is the ringmaster.

The only person Kyle is helping is himself. Has he got a regular column in the Daily Mail yet? If not, it will happen, mark my words.

 

[KeyboardJockey]

He certainly doesn't does he. I never thought i'd see anybody less sympathetic than good old kilroy but Kyle puts him in the shade.

Oh yes. On the Kilroy show at least you can get a point over sort of but with Kyle that would be a no no.

 

[kyser_soze]

He doesnt give a shit? Too right, when he's got some woman who's been the victim of serious long term physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her psycho ex-partner, and he's basically telling her its her fault because she didnt do certain things at the time, or didnt handle things a certain way then yeah, its obvious he doesnt give a shit - pity someone in his position should know when and when not to give a shit eh.

I assume you didnt see that show mate

Sorry - I sympathise for her in that situation, but deciding that it would be a good idea to deal with it on national TV? Fucking stupid decision.

 

[Yetman]

Yep, on the face of it I agree with that Kyz, you never know though, she might have thought it was the best way to help others learn from her story, she might have wanted to tell all those who've questioned her in her town the truth.....Either way that cunt should have dealt with it compassionately, not like some 70's chauvinist copper.

 

[Neva]

He posts on here you know.

 

[Yetman]

So why isnt he here defending his smug silver haired boat?

And how do you know?

Either way, Kyle you cunt, there's a milkshake heading your way.

 

[snouty warthog]

I only realised he was the same guy that did jezzas confessions on capital late nights a few months ago - and I love him on that too

oh right, that's him! the penny drops.... I hated 'jezza's confessions' when it was on virgin radio. we used to have virgin on in the kitchen where I worked, cos you could only get MW... as soon as jezza came on we'd put on capital gold, cos anything's better than listening to that guy spinning out his foul stories... like pornography for people who liked 'our tune' with simon bates... or whatever it was called...

I think he's the worst kind of agony uncle- one with an agenda, and with no worries about stabbing a person in the back to make his show more horribly watchable to the people who enjoy that kind of thing... l

(no offence intended to those who do- it's purely an opinion on the man himself...)

lie detector, schmie detector... I've got a kyle detector- I switch off as soon as I see his smug gurning face...

which in a sense means he is doin' his job very well...!?!

 

[LilMissHissyFit]

The only time the daily mail hasevery spoken the truth, its right here folks... all about the jeremy kyle show

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=398160&in_page_id=1879

 

[i_hate_beckham]

I only realised he was the same guy that did jezzas confessions on capital late nights a few months ago - and I love him on that too

He is Jezza?? I used to listen to his program religiously when i was at uni.

Always wondered what happened to him and now finally i know so can sleep easy.

 

[k_s]

The best one I saw was some fat girl being bawled at by her mother that she was too fat, was endangering her life etc. She was laying on the guilt with a fucking shovel and talking as if it was a cast iron fact her daughter would be dead inside five years unless she were to leave off the pies. Jeremy Kyle was of course doing the same thing, laying into this girl something fierce, but completely ignoring the fact that the mother was equally fat, at a pinch she was only half a stone lighter than her daughter. I couldn't fucking believe what i was seeing, even kilroy had enough sense to point out the clear-cut case of very fat pot calling very fat kettle black.

 

[zenie]

He doesnt give a shit? Too right, when he's got some woman who's been the victim of serious long term physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her psycho ex-partner, and he's basically telling her its her fault because she didnt do certain things at the time, or didnt handle things a certain way then yeah, its obvious he doesnt give a shit - pity someone in his position should know when and when not to give a shit eh.

I assume you didnt see that show mate

Indded, I must have missed that one!

I still say he rocks

 

[Masseuse]

I wouldn't mind being chastised by Jeremy.

It would be good.

 

[wishface]

http://www.myspace.com/be_a_man the song on this page

Oh that does make me smile; you can almost hear the stone crack!

 

[wishface]

He doesnt give a shit? Too right, when he's got some woman who's been the victim of serious long term physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her psycho ex-partner, and he's basically telling her its her fault because she didnt do certain things at the time, or didnt handle things a certain way then yeah, its obvious he doesnt give a shit - pity someone in his position should know when and when not to give a shit eh.

I assume you didnt see that show mate

I get the distinct impression his attitude is born of guilt.

I also think he's about as qualified to dish out advice as a tea towel.

I also notice that his on hand counsellor staff are all the same people from all the other shows like the (almost equally dreadful) Trisha.

I bet they are no help to these fucked up people at all.

 

[wishface]

He posts on here you know.

Dear Mr Kyle: please fuck off. You aren't helping people you fucking parasite.

 

[wishface]

oh right, that's him! the penny drops.... I hated 'jezza's confessions' when it was on virgin radio. we used to have virgin on in the kitchen where I worked, cos you could only get MW... as soon as jezza came on we'd put on capital gold, cos anything's better than listening to that guy spinning out his foul stories... like pornography for people who liked 'our tune' with simon bates... or whatever it was called...

I think he's the worst kind of agony uncle- one with an agenda, and with no worries about stabbing a person in the back to make his show more horribly watchable to the people who enjoy that kind of thing... l

(no offence intended to those who do- it's purely an opinion on the man himself...)

lie detector, schmie detector... I've got a kyle detector- I switch off as soon as I see his smug gurning face...

which in a sense means he is doin' his job very well...!?!

The lie detector phenomena is the worst example of this culture: the reliance on technology that isn't perfect (in fact if you notice it's succes rate has dropped over the years) and isn't legally admissible (IIRC) creates a kind of Dear Deidre McCarthyism in front of a baying audience who presume guilt over innocence based on this stupid device. Truly frightening!

 

[snouty warthog]

The lie detector phenomena is the worst example of this culture: the reliance on technology that isn't perfect (in fact if you notice it's succes rate has dropped over the years) and isn't legally admissible (IIRC) creates a kind of Dear Deidre McCarthyism in front of a baying audience who presume guilt over innocence based on this stupid device. Truly frightening!

well put, wishface.

I can tell you how to fake a lie-detector test, by the way. the results of a test are based on a comparison between baseline response rates to neutral questions 'what is your name?' etc, with your responses to non-neutral questions 'are you having an affair?'

what you do, is you increase your response rates to the baseline questions. how? you have a drawing-pin in your shoe, right under your big toe. when you are asked 'what is your name?', you push your toe down on the pin. it hurts- it hurts a lot! and that pushes your response rates through the roof. you do that for all your baseline questions.

when you get to a question where you do have to lie, of course, you don't push your toe onto the pin. and so your raised response rates just look like your normal reaction to any other question...

 

[nino_savatte]

The lie detector phenomena is the worst example of this culture: the reliance on technology that isn't perfect (in fact if you notice it's succes rate has dropped over the years) and isn't legally admissible (IIRC) creates a kind of Dear Deidre McCarthyism in front of a baying audience who presume guilt over innocence based on this stupid device. Truly frightening!

Quite right, the lie detector is about as effective as phrenology is in determining the character of an individual. Kyle (and Trashi's*) reliance on this bit of kit is nothing but a trick to create tension and excitement.



* Misspelling deliberate

 

[subversplat]

How can you lot badmouth a science that has such a rock solid history as this?:

Similar techniques were used in the ancient times. For instance, in West Africa persons suspected of a crime were made to pass a bird's egg to one another. If a person broke the egg, then he or she was considered guilty. In Ancient China, during a prosecutor's speech the suspect held a handful of rice in his or her mouth. Since salivation was believed to cease at times of emotional anxiety, the person was considered guilty if by the end of that speech the rice remained dry

 

[wishface]

Quite right, the lie detector is about as effective as phrenology is in determining the character of an individual. Kyle (and Trashi's*) reliance on this bit of kit is nothing but a trick to create tension and excitement.



* Misspelling deliberate

If anything it should be banned on live tv: it's irresponsible and misldeading. The fact it's not admissible in court as evidence should tell the mob something - you would hope!

I wonder how many lie detector 'cheats' are actually innocent in truth; but of course the court of public opinion overrules and the disapproval of Mr Kyle and his army of bored, prejudiced, housewives is more important.

Disgraceful.

 

[electrogirl]

I've always wondered about the lie detector thing! I always trusted that hairy bloke when he said it was 98% effective or something.

I thought the only reason they couldn't use it in the police force is that it is not able to be used on violent people.

 

[nino_savatte]

I've always wondered about the lie detector thing! I always trusted that hairy bloke when he said it was 98% effective or something.

I thought the only reason they couldn't use it in the police force is that it is not able to be used on violent people.

With an hour or so of training, anyone could be taught how to deceive a lie-detector. Furthermore, the lie detector relies on such physiological determinants as heart rate, breathing and perspiration to 'prove' the subject is guilty. Anyone who has suffered a horrible tube journey will also have raised levels of perspiration and a higher heart rate....it means nothing.

Tbh, it's all based on a medieval way of determining guilt: looking for clues in the 'signs' that are present in the subject. I mean, look at the ducking stool...if you drowned, you were innocent and if you survived, you were guilty.

 

[nino_savatte]

If anything it should be banned on live tv: it's irresponsible and misldeading. The fact it's not admissible in court as evidence should tell the mob something - you would hope!

I wonder how many lie detector 'cheats' are actually innocent in truth; but of course the court of public opinion overrules and the disapproval of Mr Kyle and his army of bored, prejudiced, housewives is more important.

Disgraceful.

Tbh, I even suspect that most of the participants are frauds. The people who take part may be real people themselves but the situations, I am not always so sure about. This is television, after all.

 

[subversplat]

So what's the best way to beat a lie detector then? Work yourself up onto panic-attack levels of frenzy so that even the "Is this your real name?" questions send the wibbler off the graph, or take it so chilled out the Fonz would feel out of his depth (possibly aided with a cheeky benzo?) and give zero readings for all your answers?

 

[nino_savatte]

So what's the best way to beat a lie detector then? Work yourself up onto panic-attack levels of frenzy so that even the "Is this your real name?" questions send the wibbler off the graph, or take it so chilled out the Fonz would feel out of his depth (possibly aided with a cheeky benzo?) and give zero readings for all your answers?

The latter. You have to chill.