Johnny Canuck2 said:
It is prima facie an inequity. The question is whether or not there are circumstances that would tend to excuse the inequity.
You approach is the typical non-Muslim, by which I mean that you have no insight in the core reasons behind it.
What you see as inequity was in my reading of it meant as protection and help for women. Widows (and their children) but also considering that before Islam women were in the tribal structured society part of a man's heritage. (not everywhere the case, there are records that pre-islamic women had multiple spouses too, but not in Mecca or that part of the Arabian peninsula.)
I agree that, considering human nature and especially in patriarchal societies, abuse of these Quranic instructions was/is almost inevitable. Yet if you look closely to those verses you see that following those commands strictly is humanly impossible. Hence contemporan interpretations proposing the view that it was in fact meant to prevent men, who before could marry, divorce, take as much women as they liked, from doing so. I find it an acceptable interpretation but don't agree completely with it although there is much to say for it too.
I tend to endorse the view that it was meant as protective measure and that the restrictions and commands imposed on the man who wants to opt for polygamy are meant to make him think not twice, but very long before engaging himself in it.
These days there are several Islamic nations where polygamy is forbidden, or discouraged or otherwise restricted. In my view every woman should be able to demand immediate divorce if her husband decides to engage himself in a second marriage withouth her conscent. Such right is endorsed by Al Qur'an when you read the commands concerning marriage, adressed to the man.
salaam.