i-am-your-idea
pretty vacant
..a heavy burden lifted from my soul- i learnt that love was out of my control
Is happiness a choice?
- Thread starter NoEgo
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You can decide the actions you take, the thoughts you have, the moods you accept. If various things make you happy, do them and hey presto you will be happy. If you think nothing makes you happy then you need to get a life, either through direct action or therapy
Yes happiness is a choice.
1. You have no control on outside factors and it is humanly impossible to totally control your emotions, to the extend they no longer exist.
2. In my view "therapy" by strangers is utterly nonsense. A typical product of societies where strangers make money by filling the gaps caused by the destruction of family bonds & values and other aspects of the social network, by what such societies label "progress".
salaam.
weltweit
Well-Known Member
Life can throw things at you, but we are totally in control of what we think about it, how we react and what actions we take as a response to what life throws at us. Better even is to be proactive and throw things at life yourself!
It is possible that we are NOT able to prevent ourselves ever from feeling anger but it is quite reasonable to arrange that we NEVER get angry enough to throw plates! Someone who resorts regularly to throwing plates is not taking any responsibility for their moods and the resulting actions.
Thus it may be human to feel the range of emotions but it can also be human to be to a large extent in control of them or the magnitude of them.
I came across a woman who had everything, a family that loved her, great children, a good husband, no money worries, but she was suicidal with depression and had been for a number of years. She was ill, (she was unable to control her emotions), perhaps she had a chemical imbalance in her brain, she was receiving treatment (some very serious) and there was no other option for her. She was simply ill, as much as if she had diabetes.
I rather agree.
The 3 basics
If you want to have a reasonable degree of happiness then you need to have 2 out of 3 basics working for you.
1. Social life = Friends and acquaintances
2. Working environment. = Job, studies, etc.
3. Personal life. = Partner, sex, children, family.
If only one aspect is going right in your life, then = feelings of unhappiness
A simple formula but it works for me.
If you want to have a reasonable degree of happiness then you need to have 2 out of 3 basics working for you.
1. Social life = Friends and acquaintances
2. Working environment. = Job, studies, etc.
3. Personal life. = Partner, sex, children, family.
If only one aspect is going right in your life, then = feelings of unhappiness
A simple formula but it works for me.
Blagsta
Minimum cage, maximum cage
There's a reason why psychotherapy is done by strangers. People we know are too close to be able to be completely honest with. A stranger is a "blank screen" onto which we can project our unconscious stuff on to, to bring it to conscious awareness.
If you want to have a reasonable degree of happiness then you need to have 2 out of 3 basics working for you.
1. Social life = Friends and acquaintances
2. Working environment. = Job, studies, etc.
3. Personal life. = Partner, sex, children, family.
If only one aspect is going right in your life, then = feelings of unhappiness
A simple formula but it works for me.
well that explains a lot
No, it's not impossible. Maybe you're speaking for yourself, fine. We are not emotional beings. We react to external things with emotions.
We don't need to. Always.
When we don't, when we just watch the external event, and just retain observer status, we can negate any emotional reaction. I say 'we', as in humans.
It is an easy skill to pick up to react to external events with no reaction.
revol68
what, fucking what?
For sociopaths,
Not true mate.
Whether you can control your emotions, i don't know. But there's no necessity to even and try and control your emotions. What is possible, for sure, is that one need not react emotionally to an outside factor.
For anybody.
i don't really like the idea of not having emotionial reactions to things that I ought to have emotional reactions to.
Ought to according to what or who?
If you were able to avoid reacting to negative events or states, you would be in a good frame of mind for life.
Ok, three points: 1) I have sympathy with the idea that therapy does fill a gap causes by the dissolution of certain social bonds, cohesiveness, and community. But given the unravelling of social bonds etc. therapy can provide a particularly useful space in which to voice, relfect and explore these issues. 2) the fetishization of 'the bond' necessarily leads to the nililation of subjectivity, thus ignoring the fact that these 'gaps' - between satisfaction and desire - are in fact central to the emmergence of the subject 3) Even in a 'perfect' society there will always be a certain tension or conflict between the biological basis of our being and the world in which one inhabits - living with others implies a certain limitation to our satisfaction, enjoyment or happiness - this is inherit to being human. Given this external limitation on fulfilment (ignoring of course the internal limit of the satisfaction of the drive) certain forms of therapy, particularly those where the other is a 'stranger', constructed in the process of therapy, will remain as being uniquely helpful to people in distress. This is because there is something unique to this form of therapy that allows one to (slipping into jargon) explore ones own constitution as a subject in dialectical tension with the Other, and separating and teasing out ones points of identifications, repressions and defences. Or something
...I've had a few guiness like.According to me, I suppose. I'm probably misinterpreting you, but the way I see things, to lose your passion is kind of like soul-death. And actaully, I find it quite bothersome, because I have to some extent lost my passion. Lots of things these days leave me cold, and I recognise that I don't think they should, like I've become less of a person than I used to be. maybe.
Blagsta
Minimum cage, maximum cage
This is just not true. Read up on the work that Antonio Damasio has been doing. Our rational brains rely on our emotions, this is biological fact and unless you're a Vulcan it applies to you too.
Blagsta
Minimum cage, maximum cage
Not possible.
Blagsta
Minimum cage, maximum cage
This just isn't true. It's not how we are.
max_freakout
Nothing matters
what is a 'rational brain'?
how can a lump of organic matter possess rationality?
what has rationality got to do with biology?
max_freakout
Nothing matters
If you want to have a reasonable degree of happiness then you need to have 2 out of 3 basics working for you.
1. Social life = Friends and acquaintances
2. Working environment. = Job, studies, etc.
3. Personal life. = Partner, sex, children, family.
If only one aspect is going right in your life, then = feelings of unhappiness
A simple formula but it works for me.
I think Maslow's version is better:
True. I've personally found counselling to be one of the most significant things I've done in my life. I believe it is leading me towards a greater understanding of myself and therefore of other people. Painful at times, but utterly rewarding and not at all self-indulgent as some appear think. Quite the opposite in fact.
max_freakout
Nothing matters
did you have one particular counselor who was important?
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
is happiness a choice?
yes and no. i never chose to be unhappy, having spent years of my life depressed, i'd just never been taught the mental tools for happiness. once i'd had the right therapy, i could choose happiness quite easily, and it's great (provided i keep taking the pills)...
yes and no. i never chose to be unhappy, having spent years of my life depressed, i'd just never been taught the mental tools for happiness. once i'd had the right therapy, i could choose happiness quite easily, and it's great (provided i keep taking the pills)...
max_freakout
Nothing matters
are the pills the mental tools for happiness?
I've had two, both of whom I've got on with. I only changed counsellor because of waiting lists and availability.
I don't know, I suppose I'm kind of in two minds about what fela says.
On the one hand, certainly I wouldn't want to have no emotional reactions at all. That would be terrible.
On the other hand, maybe there are such things as negative emotions, anger, bitterness, and the like, and I'd be better off without them.
But on the other hand to that, maybe when someone wrongs you should be angry with them and acknowledge and express it, and it's just false to yourself and them to try to rise above it. ? ?
On the one hand, certainly I wouldn't want to have no emotional reactions at all. That would be terrible.
On the other hand, maybe there are such things as negative emotions, anger, bitterness, and the like, and I'd be better off without them.
But on the other hand to that, maybe when someone wrongs you should be angry with them and acknowledge and express it, and it's just false to yourself and them to try to rise above it. ? ?
I think it's worth bearing in mind that Fela is utterly wrong on this.
Utterly?
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