Inexplicable Film Cliches

[poului]

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I really don't understand this extreme hatred of Andie Macdowell.

Has she done anything particularly distasteful, other than not act agreeably?

 

[Looby]

I really don't understand this extreme hatred of Andie Macdowell.

Has she done anything particularly distasteful, other than not act agreeably?

I absolutely hate everything about her from her simpering fucking voice, her facial expressions right down to the fact that she breathes.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

It doesn't play. No one wants to watch it.

i do.

 

[teuchter]

no one in films ever has to go to the launderette.

 

[kained&able]

Lots of people meet thier love intrests at laundrettes. surely.

Cue hilarity of finding the girls red thong while sorting out your tighty whiteys.

dave

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

damn, forgot that!

 

[teuchter]

Ah yes, computers.

I like the one where the expert can make any computer do anything by merely typing briskly for 10 minutes.

Also, if you look up someone's details on any kind of database, the information provided will always include a rotating 3-D wireframe model of the person, in green lines on a black background.

And, it is always possible to zoom right into an image of a crime scene until you can see the pixels, press a button and the resolution will be magically increased a hundredfold.

 

[QueenOfGoths]

Me and my good lady wife were only just last night commenting on the utter lack of talent and beauty that was Andi McDowell and she said exactly the same thing as sparklefish

Didn't she have all her lines overdubbed in Greystoke?

Yeah - by Glenn Close I think

People arriving home and the lights of their house already being on annoys me for some indefinable and possibly rather pathetic reason.

I know I sometimes leave the hall or stair light on when I go out but never the kitchen or lamps in the living room !

 

[8den]

If the characters in a movie go to New Orleans it will be Marti Gra no matter what time of year it is.

The fastest way to travel is via montage.

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Everything that Tom Hanks has ever done has been a cliche.

 

[Iam]

i do.

Ok, well you're an Arsenal fan aren'tcha, so I guess that's understandable...

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Why do cops in action movies always have to be ex-drunks, with a dark past, who still love their wives, save the world through a series of death defying film cliches and then find that their wives want them back because now he's just engaged in the mass killing of international terrorists he has shown that he's the loving, caring, sharing soul she was always looking for....

....until the sequal, when they're split up again?

 

[kained&able]

gawd bless die hard.


dave

 

[SpookyFrank]

The bad guy's final monologue before failing to kill the hero. Pretty much the only actor to ever do this well was Brando in Apocalypse Now. And Rutger Hauer in Blade Runner. And probably some others. But mostly this device is incredibly shit.

 

[D'wards]

A cop, on the edge, an ex-wife and a drink problem, he doesn't play by the rules but gets results. (said in my head in that deep film voice over)

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Kids shouting 'hey mister' really gets my goat.

The 'dead' baddie getting back up for one last attempt to kill the goodie.

 

[Hocus Eye.]

America action movies involving a group of men, perhaps army types always keep saying "Lets go, let's go" over and over again during the action

Let's go

 

[Idaho]

Also, if you look up someone's details on any kind of database, the information provided will always include a rotating 3-D wireframe model of the person, in green lines on a black background.

And, it is always possible to zoom right into an image of a crime scene until you can see the pixels, press a button and the resolution will be magically increased a hundredfold.

With a photo of them too and some kind of scrolling details with salient points flashing up.

 

[Hocus Eye.]

The episode of Spooks I saw the other day had someone sit on a computer in an office in London and hack into an enemy submarine's computer via the airwaves and disable the submarine's systems so that it couldn't do some dastardly deed that was planned to threaten the UK.

I would like to see a spoof film made where the computer expert forgets his password and is locked out while he swears at himself. Or perhaps he gets a blue screen and some time wasting computer fault causes the whole mission to be ruined.

 

[Paulie Tandoori]

The episode of Spooks I saw the other day had someone sit on a computer in an office in London and hack into an enemy submarine's computer via the airwaves and disable the submarine's systems so that it couldn't do some dastardly deed that was planned to threaten the UK.

I would like to see a spoof film made where the computer expert forgets his password and is locked out while he swears at himself. Or perhaps he gets a blue screen and some time wasting computer fault causes the whole mission to be ruined.

And he's on the phone to the IT guy, who's going "Have you tried switching it on and off yet?"

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

The fact that film-makers think you can hear explosions in space.

My dad always moans about this. He loved Moonraker purely because it shows the explosions as silent. He was going on about that for about half an hour after the film finished.

 

[Cid]

I think the gun-sideways thing is about the recoil...it's easier to shoot again as the recoil is easier to control OR SOMETHING.

I READ THIS somewhere on thr INTERNETS.

Opposite, it makes recoil worse. It also means aiming through the sights is less effective.

 

[exleper]

The fact that film-makers think you can hear explosions in space.

My dad always moans about this. He loved Moonraker purely because it shows the explosions as science. He was going on about that for about half an hour after the film finished.

2001 also got it right.

 

[dylanredefined]

if you turn your arm sideways, your elbow locks into place in a way it doesn't if you hold it straight out, i guess.

and when people do the 'sideways gun' thing, they're rarely shooting at range, so i guess accuracy isn't an issue

Its all do to people not being strong enough to hold pistols properly .If it was a good idea people who get paid to shoot guns would do it but they don't .

 

[Balbi]

2001 also got it right.

But that was a prophetic vision, albeit a dyslexically titled. 2100 ftw

 

[isitme]

at the beginning of the film the heroes will fight one ninja/dinosaur/robot and it is an absolute brick shithouse and probably kills half of the squad or is definetely not to be fucked with

at the end of the film, one or two heroes will be killing dozens of the same bad guys without any hassle at all

 

[Santino]

When someone doesn't have a criminal record, they also have never received a speeding ticket.

 

[kained&able]

only parking tickets.


dave

 

[El Jefe]

Opposite, it makes recoil worse. It also means aiming through the sights is less effective.

but people use their guns like this at close range, so you don't need the sights

 

[Idaho]

And he's on the phone to the IT guy, who's going "Have you tried switching it on and off yet?"

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