i'm going back to work tomorrow

[wiskey]

i walked in and the commander said "onto the central radio then" which was a bit of a shock as i'm somewhat out of practice.

but before i actually got to kill anybody i was rescued by my super who took me out for a meeting.

because my sick cert doesnt run out until tomorrow today i wasnt allowed to actually work. so i was on a 3hr 'reorientation' which basically ment chatting to people.

on the plus side i've finally had my leave granted for unsound in italy (i was cutting that a bit fine). on the minus side my feet hurt like hell and i've realised again that times does funny things in that room. those 3 hours felt like forever.

back on monday and thursday next week 18:30->00:30 then another week off.

so nice and gentle.

my radio op was obviously pleased to see me (which was nice) and i discovered my allocator moved watches yesterday (and frankly they are welcome to her). oh and i've moved from the south west of london to the north east. so now a whole new set of people have to be scared

wiskers

 

[frogwoman]

(((wiskers))) glad to hear today went reasonably ok ... good luck for tomorrow

 

[geminisnake]

Ditto to what froggy said

 

[wiskey]

 

[Derian]

all best wiskers

 

[zenie]

Sounds like it went 'ok' mate

Well done

 

[Derian]

Yep, hard to just walk straight back into it. Credit there as always

 

[rennie]

Glad the day went reasonably well wiskey.

 

[felixthecat]

So glad it went well - and credit to your employers for making it a nice easy return .

 

[etnea]

Really pleased that it went ok for you

 

[SubZeroCat]

Well done wiskey, glad it went well!

 

[rubbershoes]

glad it went well wiskey

 

[treefrog]

Glad it went OK wiskey, I remember when I started back at a job after two months off on sick leave, 'twas very scary but ultimately something you just gotta do!

Hope it's smoother sailing from here....

 

[wiskey]

well i truly screwed that up. god i'm such an unneccesary fuck up.

today was my first proper shift where i was expected to do work. and i just cried for the first hour. that wasnt quite how i intended it going.

(tonight i was supposed to be shadow/trainee loggist - there are two loggists north and south, they control fleet movements and ambulance down-time)

i arrived and i knew that the person i'll be shadowing wouldnt be there this this shift but when i asked his counterpart on the south how she wanted to work this eve she said "well you're north loggist", ok i said but i'll need some prompting and support, "i dont have time you'll have to get on with it". which made me feel shit and miserable because i've never really been trained fully as loggist, when i began my training i was riddled with pain and was on there because i couldnt do my normal job. i'm certainly not competant. however i went over to the desk and fiddled with bits of paper and stuff and got out my crib sheet from last time but none of it seemed to make sense and i couldnt find the papers i thought i needed. eventually i got noticed by my mate dave who said fairly amicably 'oh are you loggist' at which point i said i hated working there and i wished i'd never come back and walked off to snivvel to myself in the toilets.

eventually my super took me outside for a fag (my not smoking doesnt stand a chance in that place), she explained that she had come in late and hadnt had the oppotunity to tell pat (the other loggist) that i was coming back and to be gentle etc etc. so to be fair to pat she had no idea what was going on and presumed i could do the job. which would normally be a fair assumption.

so i managed to get myself into a proper tizzy. and they re-did the entire manning to free someone with loggist experience to come and sit with me. and the first thing she did was say 'oh we dont have bits of paper anymore its all computerised' which might have helped earlier when i was getting wound up not findin the papers i needed.

so i managed to embarrass myself totally. fortunately the watch are all lovely and it didnt matter to them. but it matters to me. i just got totally overwhelmed by people expecting things of me, and all those people milling. i realised how isolated i've been.

fukkit



and i ahve to go back on thursday. i just hope its better. it cant be worse.

wiskers

 

[boskysquelch]

you'll be okay darlin'...small steps to great strides...if you can at least recognise stuff without going off the deep end and jacking it in, you'll go from strength to strength...it's a fukker going back to work after such surgical delvage...for anyone...honestly!...plod on...onwards and upwards and you'll sooon forget all this eh?

 

[wiskey]

*wibble*

 

[spanglechick]

tisn't your fault, angel. the person you were supposed to be shadowing wasn't there - you couldn't magically bypass that stage.

but i bet you learnt loads yesterday, no?

 

[wiskey]

yeah once i got settled and worked out that its all on the bloody computer i sailed through it.

i just felt a bit stupid about it all.

 

[felixthecat]

yeah once i got settled and worked out that its all on the bloody computer i sailed through it.

i just felt a bit stupid about it all.

It won't happen again cos now everybody knows what the situation is. If there had been a communication breakdown between the supervisor and the rest of the watch it wasn't your fault!

You worried about it, it got a bit hairy, you got upset - but you stuck the shift out and by your own admission was fine by the end of it. Well done you!

You're a bright girlie - you KNOW you can do this job. You've done it before and you can do it again.

Go get 'em, tiger.

 

[Pieface]

Keep on at it - I guess you have to anyway, which I think is a good thing - as it forces you to make those steps back in and then if the things that originally concerned you about returning need changing you'll at least feel more "part" of the system again.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say - maybe that to be back in the world of work is an easier place to make changes from than at the entry point when your confidence is low. Clearly you are totally capable of the loggist role - good luck with it

 

[rennie]

yeah once i got settled and worked out that its all on the bloody computer i sailed through it.

i just felt a bit stupid about it all.

it will get better wiskey. and it wasn't your fault.