Mrs Magpie
On a bit of break...
I'd have hidden all fossil fuels more effectively.
If you were God, how would you fix the human race?
- Thread starter Herbsman.
- Start date
merlin wood
mind traveller 3rd class
I'd give human beings a knowledge of themselves and the world that could replace all religion and ideology.
inflatable jesus
I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders
I'd replace all human monuments with gigantic cock and balls statues.
Imagine the faces on the Italians when they see the leaning tower of cock and balls in Pisa, The french when they see that the Eifel tower has been replace by a big cock and balls wearing a beret. No more big ben. Big cock and balls, right there in above parliament.
They'd spend centuries trying to work out what it means.
Are we supposed to worship the cock and balls? Is it a message about our own genetalia? Who knows? Tell us God! Why is your message so dificult to understand?
It would usher in the new era of confusion that this world so desperately needs.
Imagine the faces on the Italians when they see the leaning tower of cock and balls in Pisa, The french when they see that the Eifel tower has been replace by a big cock and balls wearing a beret. No more big ben. Big cock and balls, right there in above parliament.
They'd spend centuries trying to work out what it means.
Are we supposed to worship the cock and balls? Is it a message about our own genetalia? Who knows? Tell us God! Why is your message so dificult to understand?
It would usher in the new era of confusion that this world so desperately needs.
ZWord's christmas message.
Well I'd probably send a messenger, with the mentality to figure out the problems from a human point of view, the desire to change them, and some sort of ability to get people's attention. Then I'd provide some sort of magic that made it possible for people to experience God's way of seeing things, feeling things, some sort of experience of what life might be like, if it wasn't fucked up. And I'd make a few pointers to the messenger.
Then I'd leave it to the messenger, to see what he could do.
And in the response humanity make to the messenger, whether he's elated with success or in despair at his failure, humanity judge themselves, and decide whether we're headed for heaven, or destruction.
Well I'd probably send a messenger, with the mentality to figure out the problems from a human point of view, the desire to change them, and some sort of ability to get people's attention. Then I'd provide some sort of magic that made it possible for people to experience God's way of seeing things, feeling things, some sort of experience of what life might be like, if it wasn't fucked up. And I'd make a few pointers to the messenger.
Then I'd leave it to the messenger, to see what he could do.
And in the response humanity make to the messenger, whether he's elated with success or in despair at his failure, humanity judge themselves, and decide whether we're headed for heaven, or destruction.
DJ Triviality
Hello!
In I was Omniscient and Omnipresent I'd have a chat with all 6 billion people at the same time and ask them how I could help them out (even though I'd know what they were thinking). I'd make notes and start building a loft extention on Heaven.
A problem shared is a problem halved.
A problem shared is a problem halved.
solartrinity
New Member
I would take away mans intelligence at least that way he would just live like the rest of the animals manage to in harmony with the earth and enjoying its beauty without destroying it
thefishdead
I love cake. Somewhat.
Walk in, look around, scratch my arse say 'things seem ok here' and go for a fag.
solartrinity said:
Why do you think taking away our intelligence would make us live in harmony with the earth, - or was it just man's intelligence you were going to take away, leaving woman's as it is?
(was it something along the lines of "reject the brain"...happiness bubbles)
solartrinity
New Member
ZWord said:
It just seemed the world was happilly going along and then when humans appeared it has done so much damage in such a short time i thought through taking our intellegence away so we were like the other animals we could try and bring that harmony back
emma
xxxxx
Kid_Eternity
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I'd suppress the races religious instincts just for fun.
Shippou-Sensei
4:1:2.5
i still think my foxgirl maid army is the best idea
If you were God
First tell Jesus to get a DNA test to prove this sibling issue.
Tell everyone yes it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter heaven. Cue wealth distribution.
Claim royalties for all the God quotes in book, films etc. Give everyone the ability to time travel.
First tell Jesus to get a DNA test to prove this sibling issue.
Tell everyone yes it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter heaven. Cue wealth distribution.
Claim royalties for all the God quotes in book, films etc. Give everyone the ability to time travel.
New X Girl
New Member
I am god - and so are you - and we are all already perfect and the universe is in balance, so don't worry about it.
Zhelezniakov
Well-Known Member
Get rid of money 
Shippou-Sensei
4:1:2.5
i'm fairly certain i'm not perfect
and i'm fairly certain i'm not a god...
mind you it would be pritty cool... i could have a shrine and miko and everything...
and i'm fairly certain i'm not a god...
mind you it would be pritty cool... i could have a shrine and miko and everything...
clairefrilly
New Member
i'd give us all tails and the ability to turn ourselves inside out...just for then laugh.
Purdie
there are no stars, only suns
I'd give Thor a shout and ask him to bang his hammer on that lump of the Canaries. Knock it off and that will give the Atlantic side of the Americas something to worry about for a while. Hades can rise from the Grand Canyon and Styx will flow on earth.
Ra can park his solar barge on the Himalayas and that should stop the Chinese polluting for a while.
An oasis will appear on Uluru.
For 40 years there will be a poisonous mercury lake in St Peter's Square. In it will be vivid moving images of the atrocoties commited in my name over the last 2000 years.
The Sahara will be fertile.
I'd banish the ego, and those that are immume or resist beyond the period of 30 hours, dissipation will have their brains synchronized with microwave frequences.
Should greed manage to rear it's ugly head on any other level beyond self preservation of the immediate family unit that brain will be added to the microwave spectrum ...
Ra can park his solar barge on the Himalayas and that should stop the Chinese polluting for a while.
An oasis will appear on Uluru.
For 40 years there will be a poisonous mercury lake in St Peter's Square. In it will be vivid moving images of the atrocoties commited in my name over the last 2000 years.
The Sahara will be fertile.
I'd banish the ego, and those that are immume or resist beyond the period of 30 hours, dissipation will have their brains synchronized with microwave frequences.
Should greed manage to rear it's ugly head on any other level beyond self preservation of the immediate family unit that brain will be added to the microwave spectrum ...
I reckon what God wants is for humanity to take control of their political systems, and arrange a world where people cannot own places other than the ones they personally live and work in, and do not have the right to tax other people to live there, or work their so called "property" for them.
Obviously God can't actually do anything about this, except try and persuade humans to change their systems and laws. God can't change human laws for them, because, by their very nature, human laws can only be changed by humans. If we want to change our world, either we have to change our laws, or stop living by them. Which is easier?
That said, to sum up everything, - I think there's nothing more appropriate than to say along with Peter Cook:
"Well this is the tragedy about squatter..." which while it's a bit obscure, will hopefully make sense to someone other than me.
Obviously God can't actually do anything about this, except try and persuade humans to change their systems and laws. God can't change human laws for them, because, by their very nature, human laws can only be changed by humans. If we want to change our world, either we have to change our laws, or stop living by them. Which is easier?
That said, to sum up everything, - I think there's nothing more appropriate than to say along with Peter Cook:
"Well this is the tragedy about squatter..." which while it's a bit obscure, will hopefully make sense to someone other than me.
absinthe pirate
Well-Known Member
In the words of the bay city rollers
You've got to give a little love
Take a little love
Be prepared to forsake a little love
And when the sun comes shining through
We'll know what to do
Ha ha.
Of course if i was God i wouldn't be able to do anything due to the whole free will promise but i guess i'd give people a little more empathy, fix the holes in the ozone, plant a few more trees and give the world a good talking to...GO GREEN PEOPLE!
(Having a loud voice shout down would sure solve a few religious issues too)
You've got to give a little love
Take a little love
Be prepared to forsake a little love
And when the sun comes shining through
We'll know what to do
Ha ha.
Of course if i was God i wouldn't be able to do anything due to the whole free will promise but i guess i'd give people a little more empathy, fix the holes in the ozone, plant a few more trees and give the world a good talking to...GO GREEN PEOPLE!
(Having a loud voice shout down would sure solve a few religious issues too)
CharlieAddict
nekomimi rocks!!!
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