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I need a man!

_pH_ said:
sexual equality innit? political correctness gone mad! :mad:
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Ah man, he had his feet drawn up off the ground "rerleyes". Mind you I made a man check my boots in case funnel webs were lurking there when I went to Oz :D
 
I don't especially like them but I don't see why they should get killed just because someone is scared of them, it's easy enough to catch them in a glass with a card and drop them out the window. I don't mind little ones at all but if they're bigger than an inch or so I get a wee bit cautious around them :eek:
 
DotCommunist said:
Urgh, earwigs. I can trace my revulsion down to the day I picked up a branch and started playing Sword with it. I stabbed a tree and the branch broke, out came a swarm of the evil fuckers and some of them ran up my hand:(
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Eurgh, that gave me shivers.
I think my mam passed her fear onto me. She lived in a caravan as a kid for a while and one time my nan turned over her mattress to air it and the back of it was covered in the evil fuckers. How horrible to know that as she slept, hundreds of earwigs were nestling underneath her :(
They just look mean too.
 
_pH_ said:
what's that behind you? :hmm:

:eek::eek::eek:
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*Looks behind himself*

'AAAAAAAAAGH!'

giant-spider.jpg


*Heads hurriedly in the opposite direction*
 
Bakunin said:
I like spiders, personally, so I encourage the ones that live in my flat as they keep away flies and bugs and so on, especially in summer.

Obviously I'm not as partial to critters like redbacks, funnel-webs and black widows, but I've never seen any of those outside a zoo so they're not a problem.
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How many flies and bugs do you have in your flat? :eek: :confused:

I don't have anywhere near enough to justify tolerating a spider.
 
cesare said:
Mind you I made a man check my boots in case funnel webs were lurking there when I went to Oz :D
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That's one of the things my grandfather taught me when I was a nipper. When he was doing jungle and desert training in the Royal marines he always shook out his boots every morning and found things like spiders, scorpions and even small (highly venomous) snakes lurking therein.

This was in the days before antivenom, as well.
 
AnnO'Neemus said:
How many flies and bugs do you have in your flat? :eek: :confused:

I don't have anywhere near enough to justify tolerating a spider.
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Not many, but I like spiders and as long as they don't annoy me then I leave them to their own devices, especially as I had a swarm of flying ants try and set up home a couple of weeks ago.
 
Bakunin said:
That's one of the things my grandfather taught me when I was a nipper. When he was doing jungle and desert training in the Royal marines he always shook out his boots every morning and found things like spiders, scorpions and even small (highly venomous) snakes lurking therein.

This was in the days before antivenom, as well.
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Yeah my Dad did national service out in the Far East and scorpion checking was something he used to tell me about, so that was why I was a bit para about my boots whilst staying in an old creepy crawly infested flat in Sydney. The man that I asked to check my boots had nastily broken up with the friend that I was staying with but trying to worm his way back into her affections, so it was quite a good test of how hard he was prepared to try :D

Mind you he was a seppoe and ashram-botherer so he may not have realised why I was asking him to stick his hand down my boots.
 
Clair De Lune said:
My ex would scream like a girl when he saw a spider. They don't bother me.
I hate earwigs though, they disgust me. Had one on my leg the other night, flicked if off before I knew what is was and then had to catch it and chuck it outside. I hated having to touch it, felt real revulsion. Have more sympathy for peoples arachnophobia now.
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If I sit on your leg will you flick me off?

We had loads of earwigs in the tent at womad. I took my hat off and handed it to mr madz and he turned it upside down and said, 'Errrrrrrr......' and handed it back to me. There were at least 30 earwigs in it that had been sleeping in the hat band :(
 
As the midnight moon, was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes, lookin' into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin' don't say a word, cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
I'm tired of fast moves
I've got a slow groove...
On my mind

I want a man with a slow hand
I want a lover with an easy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand

On shadowed ground, with no one around
And a blanket of stars in our eyes
We are drifting free, like two lost leaves
On the crazy wind of the night
Darlin', don't say a word, 'cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
If I want it all night
You say it's alright
We got the time

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand

If I want it all night
Please say it's alright
It's not a fast move
But a slow groove
On my mind

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand
"Slow Hand"
[ Pointer Sisters Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
by the Pointer Sisters.

As the midnight moon, was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes, lookin' into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin' don't say a word, cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
I'm tired of fast moves
I've got a slow groove...
On my mind

I want a man with a slow hand
I want a lover with an easy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand

On shadowed ground, with no one around
And a blanket of stars in our eyes
We are drifting free, like two lost leaves
On the crazy wind of the night
Darlin', don't say a word, 'cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
If I want it all night
You say it's alright
We got the time

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand

If I want it all night
Please say it's alright
It's not a fast move
But a slow groove
On my mind

'Cause I got a man with a slow hand
I got a lover with an easy touch
I found somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I found somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand
 
They can't hurt you, they're tiny. If you can't face picking them up get a glass and a bit of paper. Or a mug, of you are unable to face seeing it through the glass
 
Badger Kitten said:
They can't hurt you, they're tiny. If you can't face picking them up get a glass and a bit of paper. Or a mug, of you are unable to face seeing it through the glass
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Badger Kitten, I know that makes sense, really, I do.

But all logic flies out of the window when there is a spider in the bath. :(
 
Spinders are cool. My boat is full of em.

Try chatting to it for a while and getting it to walk onto a bit of card instead.
 
Sing this at it.
Flanders & Swann said:
I have fought a Grizzly Bear,

Tracked a Cobra to its lair,

Killed a Crocodile who dared to cross my path,

But the thing I really dread

When I've just got out of bed

Is to find that there's a Spider in the bath.



I've no fear of Wasps or Bees,

Mosquitoes only tease,

I rather like a Cricket on the hearth,

But my blood runs cold to meet

In pyjamas and bare feet,

With a great big hairy spider in the bath.



I have faced a charging Bull in Barcelona,

I have dragged a mountain Lioness from her cubs,

I've restored a mad Gorilla to it's owner,

But I don't dare face that tub ...



What a frightful looking beast -

Half an inch across at least -

It would frighten even Superman or Garth!

There's contempt it can't disguise,

In the little beady eyes,

Of the Spider sitting glowering in the bath.



It ignores my every lunge

With the backbrush and the sponge;

I have bombed it with 'A present from Penarth'.

It just rolls into a ball,

Doesn't seem to mind at all,

And simply goes on squatting in the bath.



For hours we have been locked in endless struggle,

I have lured it to the deep end by the drain.

At last I think I've washed it down the plughole,

Here it comes a-crawling up the chain!



Now it's time for me to shave,

Though my nerves will not behave,

And there's bound to be a fearful aftermath.

So before I cut my throat,

I shall leave this final note;

Driven to it - by the Spider in the bath!
Click to expand...
 
Bakunin said:
I like spiders, personally, so I encourage the ones that live in my flat as they keep away flies and bugs and so on, especially in summer.
.
Click to expand...

How do you encourage them? Is it a verbal thing? "C'mon Spidey, you can do it!" That sort of thing?
 
madzone said:
If I sit on your leg will you flick me off?

We had loads of earwigs in the tent at womad. I took my hat off and handed it to mr madz and he turned it upside down and said, 'Errrrrrrr......' and handed it back to me. There were at least 30 earwigs in it that had been sleeping in the hat band :(
Click to expand...

:D;)
Maybe.

Eurgh! another great reason not to wear hats.
 
I am a man and I am terrified of spiders.

I usually play up the size of spiders for the other half to get rid of them, but there was literally the world's biggest spider in the bathroom on Saturday.

I think it was some tropical bugger as it had stripey legs and really was the size of a pigeon.

I ran downstairs and refused to come up and wash until it was disptached.

Even my other half who thinks nothing of spiders, squeeled when he saw it and he said it jumped at him while trying to get rid of it.

I still feel nevrvous going into the bathroom - how the hell did something that big get in there?
 
fractionMan said:
Spinders are cool. My boat is full of em.

Try chatting to it for a while and getting it to walk onto a bit of card instead.
Click to expand...

that's pretty much what i do- most of the time :o

when staying with cousins in brisbane they found a spider in the house and started shreiking to "kill it! where's the spray! KILL KILL KILL!", i said i'd put it outside for them... then i saw it :eek: same span as my hand, fast as fuck and when i cornered it... it fucking jumped at me :eek:

my cousins merked it with spray in the end while i was white as sheet in the corner :o
 
<--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

that big! and it jumped!
 
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