I just said "...make sure we are all singing from the same hymsheet"

[Roadkill]

When talking to the US office at work I like to use 'touching cloth' instead of 'touching base' - so now they just think it's a British variant of the saying

That is fucking priceless.

 

[sleaterkinney]

I used the 'low hanging fruit' one in a meeting the other day non-ironically. the whole room kinda flinched as one.

I used "quick win". They all stopped because it was me, if I was a manager I would have got away with it.

 

[pembrokestephen]

What else would it make you think of? I mean ... well, what's it supposed to mean?!

It's a good expression. It's about doing the easy stuff first. So, when the DSS wants to look like it's doing something, say, to cut benefit fraud, it'll go for the "low hanging fruit", viz. the woman doing a couple of hours' cleaning on the side who's made little attempt to cover her tracks, rather than the major organised housing-benefit-and-multiple-false-ID scam that's costing them tens of times the money.

I definitely never saw that expression as a particularly egregious bit of officespeak...

 

[equationgirl]

huh. At my place we 'add value', 'go for the low-hanging fruit' and 'think outside the box'.

Bloody business jargon just covers up people not doing any work.

 

[Gromit]

My boos keeps using the phrase "spinning plates" and the annoying thing is I've started to say it back.

 

[Gromit]

I used "quick win". They all stopped because it was me, if I was a manager I would have got away with it.

I see no problem with 'quick win'. Its simple and straight to the point. Does this make me a bad person?

 

[indigo4]

singing from the same hymn sheet

reminds me of a story about my junior school when all the best choir singers got invited to sing on songs of praise, obviously everyone was very very excited to the point of one of the kids wet themselves, a long stream of wee flowed out of the aisle and took with it a hymn sheet, just floated down the church...hahahaha i think they might have edited that bit out of the final version.

 

[pembrokestephen]

huh. At my place we 'add value', 'go for the low-hanging fruit' and 'think outside the box'.

Bloody business jargon just covers up people not doing any work.

Well, sometimes I think that bloody business jargon just grabs a perfectly good metaphor and tears the arse out of it.

My suspicion is that a lot of this stuff gets introduced subversively by people taking the piss, who then sit back appalled as Brainless Manager not only appropriates it and then uses it every 10 minutes, but claims the credit for inventing it.

I had a manager like that. I used to think up ever-more-ludicrous metaphors to see if he'd steal them and I might spot them in the directors' meeting minutes (look, I was the sysadmin on the WP system, OK? Sure, he thought he was, because he thought that "admin" was the root account on AIX...but I digress, muahahaha. He wasn't safe to give root access to: he trashed the first machine that was commissioned by inadvertently - and stupidly - doing rm -rf in the / directory. Cunt).

 

[BlackSpecs]

this thread is "pushing the envelope" !!!!

 

[pengaleng]

lol what a nob

 

[Gromit]

Reading threads like this make me wish i was the Chief Exec.

For a laught I'd make up some phrase like "Lets not hang the cat on the curtain" and wait to see how long it was before others started using it in meetings.

 

[bouncer_the_dog]

I think you'd probably end up being jabbed to death with biros.

 

[poster342002]

Reading threads like this make me wish i was the Chief Exec.

For a laught I'd make up some phrase like "Lets not hang the cat on the curtain" and wait to see how long it was before others started using it in meetings.

Corporate-arselicking ladderclimbers being what they are, it'd probably take all of five minutes at most.

 

[lego]

Well, at least everyone knew where they were by close of play.

(IT'S NOT FUCKING WIMBLEDON. )