I just drank a wine glass full of extra virgin olive oil :(

[Herbsman.]

I was reading a book about olive oil. The author compared the finesse and quality and depth of a fine extra virgin olive oil to that of a fine wine, so I thought why not drink it like a fine wine? So I did. What's gonna happen to me?

 

[Tank Girl]

you will have teh shitz

 

[joustmaster]

this is going to turn in to a thread about pooing isn't it.

 

[SubZeroCat]

Did you drink the whole glass?

If you're telling the truth then I suspect you'll just vomit it all up.

 

[Tank Girl]

already has

 

[joustmaster]

i was too late

 

[sojourner]

you will have teh shitz

yup!

 

[trashpony]

you will poo very smoooooooothly

 

[Madusa]

you will poo very smoooooooothly

i heard it works for inducing labour aswel

 

[marty21]

you will have teh shitz

absolutely

 

[felixthecat]

I wouldn't go far from the toilet if I were you.

Silly sod!

 

[dolly's gal]

wrong. very very wrong.

 

[Herbsman.]

I was going to wait til I go to the Italian restaurant around the corner later tonight, to ask for a glass of olive oil. I reckon the look on his face would have been hilarious. He would have repeatedly tried to advise me against it, while I would have flatly insisted. Finally, he would have reluctantly succumbed, and said, 'as you wish, sir'. Everyone in the restaurant would stare in horror, as I quaffed the fruity, tangy, oily wine substitute while delicately chomping on the fine asparagus risotto.

 

[JTG]

do that every day and you'll live forever like them wrinkly mediterranean types

 

[Badger Kitten]

''I tried a liver flush''

I drank the apple juice for two days, diligently maintaining the two hour schedule. The olive oil was much more difficult. I hesitated for about fifteen minutes before pinching my nose and gulping it down, the way I used to when my mother made me drink tomato juice. The sensation of such a large amount of pure oil in my mouth was so unpleasant, I nearly vomited. I thought that turning off the lights and lying down would make me feel better, but it only took away all distraction and forced me to focus on my nausea. Somehow, though, I managed to fall asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I had cramps in my abdomen, but I didn't have the urge to go to the bathroom. So I waited. And waited. Then suddenly I felt pressure building quickly in my intestines. The event was nothing short of explosive and peering into the toilet, satisfying. About 70 dark green balls, ranging in size from 1 mm to 1 cm were floating on the water. I picked one up and rinsed it off. It was gelatinous and felt soft and squishy.

But still I wondered how I could have had so many gallstones at my age and health. Their soft, translucent and gelatinous consistency also made question whether they were actually cholesterol stones.

I decided to do some research. The first thing I learned was that some people believe the gelatinous green balls are probably not gallstones. Several sources, including the naturopathic doctors Michael Murray and Joseph Pizzorno, said that "gallstones" typically passed during the liver flush are not really gallstones but simply soft complexes of mineral, olive oil and lemon juice produced within the digestive tract.

The liver flush is also theoretically unsafe for people who have gallstones. The large amount of oil causes the gallbladder to contract, making it possible for a gallstone to become lodged in the narrow opening of the gallbladder and necessitate emergency gallbladder surgery. Since gallstones are common in North America and many people with gallstones are asymptomatic, the absence of gallbladder-related symptoms does not mean an absence of risk. This procedure should only be done under the supervision of a trained health practitioner.

 

[Badger Kitten]

Stay in bed as long as possible once finishing the lemon juice and oil. Expect to make many trips to the powder room all day Saturday and to expel gooey looking marbles, mostly green, but some people have orange and/or black ones as well. Depending on whether or not you did the Stone Free first, these could be the size of grains of sand to ping pong balls (and no, for reasons not understood at all, they do not get stuck despite whatever people think they know about bile ducts and so forth.) Most people pass marbles, pea size to larger (like lima beans.) Moreover, most people pass a lot of these, 30-200. Ergo, before the flush, the gall bladder has to have been stretched a lot. Some people have to stay home for two days because more and more keeps coming out.

more

 

[Stanley Edwards]

It's very good for you. I take at least the equivalent to half a glass everyday. On toastadas, with tortilla, in my toasties.

I'd be well fit if I didn't down at least a bottle of red everyday also.

Your skin will be perfect, your hair will be shiny and you'll be shitting with ease.

 

[Crispy]

 

[Badger Kitten]

Then suddenly I felt pressure building quickly in my intestines. The event was nothing short of explosive and peering into the toilet, satisfying. About 70 dark green balls, ranging in size from 1 mm to 1 cm were floating on the water. I picked one up and rinsed it off. It was gelatinous and felt soft and squishy.

So have you explosively shat squishy green balls yet, or what?

I bet Herbsman isn't going to be able to get to this thread for a while...

 

[FridgeMagnet]

I was reading a book about olive oil. The author compared the finesse and quality and depth of a fine extra virgin olive oil to that of a fine wine, so I thought why not drink it like a fine wine? So I did. What's gonna happen to me?

Your arse will leak and you will be able to scoot around on it, like a snail, by rhymically clenching and releasing your buttocks. Soon you will grow to prefer this mode of locomotion and arrange to have your legs amputated so that they do not impede you. You will have all carpets removed in your home and replaced with smooth linoleum, and will start writing letters to your MP demanding that the same take place on all public rights of way.

 

[Herbsman.]

I think the key to superfoods like extra virgin olive oil, is to eat small amounts regularly with other healthy foods, rather than whopping great amounts alone in one go

 

[Spion]

No problem. I've probably consumed that much in a few Greek salads in my time

 

[Roadkill]

 

[Badger Kitten]

I think the key to superfoods like extra virgin olive oil, is to eat small amounts regularly with other healthy foods, rather than whopping great amounts alone in one go

Talk us through the poo, you know you want to...

 

[toggle]

i heard it works for inducing labour aswel

friend of mine says that giving yourself the shits can start labour, but waiting a bit longer and being big and uncomfortable is infinitely preferable than having the shits and contractions at the same time.

 

[Herbsman.]

Talk us through the poo, you know you want to...

No, thanks!

My gut feels well oily It's producing loads of bubbles and glugging sounds

 

[Bernie Gunther]

It could always be worse. You could have mistaken a glass of olive oil that some degenerate friends had been using as anal lubricant for gold tequila.

 

[Badger Kitten]

Looking forward to Herbsman's next thread...

I just brushed my teeth with bleach! I was reading a book about bleach. The author explained that it makes white things brighter so I thought why not brush my teeth with it? So I did. What's gonna happen to me?

 

[Badger Kitten]

or...

I just stuck my fingers in the power socket! I was reading a book about electricity. The author explained that it makes things light up if you plug them into the mains. So I did. What's gonna happen to me?

 

[trashpony]

friend of mine says that giving yourself the shits can start labour, but waiting a bit longer and being big and uncomfortable is infinitely preferable than having the shits and contractions at the same time.

I can imagine that. At an earlier stage in my pregnancy I drank more than the recommended dose of lactulose to get things moving. I was on the loo for nearly an hour.

It wasn't pleasant



it worked though