long story about estate agents
I don't know why no-one's pointed out before but you really need to put some effort into this EG.
LOL!
Well I saw 6 houses on saturday and 3 different estate agents and the differnce between them was so amazing. The first one was an estate agent in New Cross and she was cockerny and talking about how she was really hungover from the night before and I loved her. And instead of driving us to the property she walked us there and when we got in there it was really messy and there were weird piles of rubbish everywhere and a cigarette in the fireplace and she was like 'erm yeah, sorry, i haven't actually seen this one I'll get him to tidy up' And then she drove us to the next one and her car was really messy and there were cigarette packets and mcdonalds wrappers everywhere and I had to climb over the back seat like an animal because one of the car doors wasn't working and when i eventually sat down there was no seatbelt so I just had to hold on for dear life while she veered down the road and pulled up to a house. This house had a lime green bathroom and a painting of a dog and a little girl over the fireplace. I liked this one.
The next estate agent was showing me and my friend and then another 2 boys around the same house in Brockley. Well why not? 2 birds one stone I guess. He was nice enough though and he gave us a lift to the next viewing.
THIS IS WHERE THE VILEST WOMAN I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE CAME ALONG. She was from Foxtons (before you say anything my friend organised these viewings not me) and she took us around this house that was going for 1450 a month, oh yeah, only 200 over our budget well done you prick.
And then she was going to drive us to the station and she mentioned a place in Tulse Hill she had and neither of us actually said we wanted to see it but somehow we started heading towards Brixton and I said 'erm, where are we going?' and she said 'Tulse Hill, that house!' and I said 'erm, we haven't really go time' and she said 'oh it won't take long' and then I said 'hang on, I think we've already seen it' adn she said 'have you?' I said 'yeah, massive living room' and she said 'yeah....how much was it on for?' I said '1300, we've already seen it, we didn't want it' and she said 'are you sure you've seen it? what was the layout like?.' I said 'it was whiite and there was a gate at the bottom and one of the rooms had cat litter in it AND WE'VE SEEN IT WE DON'T WANT CAT LITTER TRAY HOUSE!!'
And then she started driving us back to Dulwich and during this journey she proceeded to ask us what we did, whether we went to university? oh you dropped out? why was that? so does your job
pay well? So I'm older than you? Haha wow! I'm older than you that's weird! Yeah I went to uni and graduated and spent a year in france but then my mum and dad wanted me to do law conversion but I was like, omg mum and dad just let me have a break and so i got this job, and wow, i got a promotion after a week and then yesterday I got promoted again and I told my mum and she was like 'well of course you did Florence, you always excel in everything you do, remember when you got promoted to team leader after a week in that BT call centre?' and I was like, omg you're so right, i DO always do brilliantly in everything. So how about you girls, what are YOU going to do with your life? etc etc etc
And then she said 'oh you'll never guess who just moved in to dulwich using our agency?'
'no, who?'
'jenny eclair'
'OMG JENNY ECLAIR, omg you're KIDDING??! Star of loose women and doing jokes about periods?? That one who looks like Su Pollard and in fact in my head their faces are the same, their faces are the same face?..her?! WOW!'
Then she said ' I just rented out a property over there for 5000 a month'
I said '5000, that's ridiculous'
And she said 'well girls, this IS the village, this is THE village'
So after all these stories about how brilliant she was and accusing questions about our lives and how shit thery were she kept us in the car while she drove around and around trying to park and I was so angry by this point and needed to get out I said 'LOOK CAN YOU JUST DROP US OFF HERE' and I got out and slammed the door and turned to my friend and said 'she was a CUNT!' and my friend burst out laughing and said she was the funniest person she'd ever met and we were so angry and exhilerated but laughing so much about it we walked 10 minutes down the road the long way. We were high on anger.
SO yeah.
so did you like any of the 6 places you saw?
