kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
It's the manager from Dilbet when Wally gives him an etch-a-sketch and shakes it up and down saying 'This is how you reboot your laptop'...
I have no drive or ambition
- Thread starter SubZeroCat
- Start date
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
still my favourite dilbert EVA... 
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
I'm putting in a request to IT for this model...
for some reason (derail, sorry) this reminds me of a conversation yesterday - my friend had a job interview for a school administrator position and the office manager type woman who interviewed her was grilling her about her "computer skills".
"Do you know Word"?
uh, yes,
"How well?"
um, yes, very well...
"You need to have a very thorough knowledge of Word..."
(starting to get worried that there is something in Word that she hasn't previously used or something)....
"Can you "bold"?"
(she didn't take the job. Just a tad bit over-qualified.)
"Do you know Word"?
uh, yes,
"How well?"
um, yes, very well...
"You need to have a very thorough knowledge of Word..."
(starting to get worried that there is something in Word that she hasn't previously used or something)....
"Can you "bold"?"
(she didn't take the job. Just a tad bit over-qualified.)
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
:d :d :d
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
:d :d :d
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
feckin etch a sketch's on the blink again 
kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
Beyond priceless...the other day I had to send out an IT skills questionnaire for the big new NHS pooter system, here reproduced in full:
1. Do you use Microsoft Windows?
(If you use Word or Excel tick yes)
2. Are you confident using a mouse?
(This means controlling the cursor, left and right clicking, & double clicking)
3. Can you open, save and print a document?
4. Can you maximise, minimise and move a window?
5. Can you copy, cut and paste?
6. Can you undo your last action?
7. Can you create, rename, delete and copy folders?
8a. Do you use email regularly?
8b. If yes, can you send attachments?
1. Do you use Microsoft Windows?
(If you use Word or Excel tick yes)
2. Are you confident using a mouse?
(This means controlling the cursor, left and right clicking, & double clicking)
3. Can you open, save and print a document?
4. Can you maximise, minimise and move a window?
5. Can you copy, cut and paste?
6. Can you undo your last action?
7. Can you create, rename, delete and copy folders?
8a. Do you use email regularly?
8b. If yes, can you send attachments?
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
kyser_soze said:
*pins note to etch a sketch and passes to carrier pigeon*
*proud*
Crispy
The following psytrance is baṉned: All
Our old office admin only found out about moving windows by dragging the titlebar a month before she was fired. She also liked to talk about "pages in my excel" to talk about actual files. She also had a rather peculiar folder and file naming system. And she wouldn't use the network drives.
All this talk of morons....I am better than them! I can do all that kyser posted up and more! And when there's a problem I use my initiative and try to work it out myself
szc - getting there in the scary world of compooters
szc - getting there in the scary world of compooters
kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
I had the same problems when I started in my current role - tons of shared documents on the C: drive which she'd been emailing to all and sundry...grrrrrrrrr...
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
Ah. Initiative. Now it all becomes so obvious. You actually used initiative
*fondly remembers having a probationary period extended due to applying problem solving skills, initative and going straight to the source to get stuff done rather than through the proper channels*
Ah. Happy days.
*fondly remembers having a probationary period extended due to applying problem solving skills, initative and going straight to the source to get stuff done rather than through the proper channels*
Ah. Happy days.
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
and yet people like these get jobs everywhere whereas someone like myself has regularly spent 3-6 months a year unemployed or underemployed.
it's insane, it really is.
it's insane, it really is.
kyser_soze
Hawking's Angry Eyebrow
SubZeroCat said:All this talk of morons....I am better than them! I can do all that kyser posted up and more! And when there's a problem I use my initiative and try to work it out myself
szc - getting there in the scary world of compooters
Here's a tip for the world of printers & photocopiers...
If something goes wrong, there's an error code comes up on the little screen; this will correspond to a specific, user-serviceable bit of said hardware; open the cover indicated on the little screen and yank the paper out/replace the toner cartridge. Most, if not all modern printers and copiers will have this, and there will be pictograms inside demonstrating what to do. If it's not one of those errors it's not a user-fixable problem and you'll need to call an engineer out to fix it.
secretsquirrel
Respectable married lady
Oh God the time I've spent trying to locate the MICROSCOPIC piece of paper n'er bigger than a knat's arsehole that has somehow managed to bring a £10,000 piece of machinery to a holt!
LDR
kiwitanga
Yep. That's because "attitude" and "appearance" are considered by some employers more important than actually whether or not you have the skills.bluestreak said:
It's madness but if you learn how to play the game and don't mind compromising your principles, it's relatively straightforward to get ahead really IMHO.
I've no doubt if you threw on a suit and tie, cut your hair, removed all piercings, etc. and came across as a "yes" man, finding work would be a whole lot easier.
Hey, it worked for me.
LD Rudeboy said:
Hahahaha!
spanglechick
High Empress of Dressing Up
i actually find fixing photocopiers quite satifying. never had a job where i didn't have to do it myself. but then, nobody ever shouted at me while i was trying to do it either (((((szc)))))kyser_soze said:
spanglechick said:
I wasn't shouted at. It was just his stupid incredulous face that almost said "Why didn't you get up at 6am this morning and have it done before we got here??"
He actually said to me "Ok, fine, bit of a telling off now though - etc etc" What am I 5 years old?
He's patronising, expecting me to fuck up at every hurdle, but then so expectant, like I've done these things a million times before in my sleep and it will be a doddle.
Rubbish management!
edit: oh and btw, I was relunctant to "fix" the photocopy machine for fear of damaging it and then getting a bollocking. Ours is one those multi huuuuge monster things as well and to be fair, it's not like it's the easiest thing in the world. I don't take stuff apart at home, I'm not the IT fiddle and geek around type, please do excuse me.....
SubZeroCat said:
I usually follow the instructions on the screen and clear the jams, but the feeling I hate is the one I get when, having cleared the jam in Area 1, the screen then says, "clear the jam in Area 2" and then 3 and then 4... I just get this nagging feeling that I'm making things worse - even if I'm not
spanglechick
High Empress of Dressing Up
sweetie, i wasn't having a dig - he's been so shit to you that you have no confidence to try and do stuff because you're worried about him going nuts. he's a total arse and it's horrible that you still have to go in until the end of your notice period.SubZeroCat said:I wasn't shouted at. It was just his stupid incredulous face that almost said "Why didn't you get up at 6am this morning and have it done before we got here??"
He actually said to me "Ok, fine, bit of a telling off now though - etc etc" What am I 5 years old?
He's patronising, expecting me to fuck up at every hurdle, but then so expectant, like I've done these things a million times before in my sleep and it will be a doddle.
Rubbish management!
edit: oh and btw, I was relunctant to "fix" the photocopy machine for fear of damaging it and then getting a bollocking. Ours is one those multi huuuuge monster things as well and to be fair, it's not like it's the easiest thing in the world. I don't take stuff apart at home, I'm not the IT fiddle and geek around type, please do excuse me.....
i'm sorry if i made you feel like you should have done any diffrerent.
spanglechick said:sweetie, i wasn't having a dig - he's been so shit to you that you have no confidence to try and do stuff because you're worried about him going nuts. he's a total arse and it's horrible that you still have to go in until the end of your notice period.
i'm sorry if i made you feel like you should have done any diffrerent.
Oh no no no, I wasn't having a go at you! Sorry!
I was just venting as I typed and got a bit ggrrrr
spanglechick
High Empress of Dressing Up
cool - hey maybe you could write a story in which he comes to a horrid end? and then make your fortune as a prize-winning novelist / screenwriter?SubZeroCat said:Oh no no no, I wasn't having a go at you! Sorry!
I was just venting as I typed and got a bit ggrrrr
spanglechick said:
I'm crap at writing but otherwise, sounds good
edit: actually, I could do a Ricky Gervais and make a comedy show out of it, except it won't be anywhere near as funny and.....yeah actually that idea sucks.
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