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I have no drive or ambition

Iemanja said:
I live in hope that one day SZC will have her own nutrition program on BBC 3 ;)
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Shall I go around screeching at people, tell them they are killing themselves/their children and smell their poo? ;)

Ms T - I agree with you and I did try it but it didn't work. I'm not gonna waste time and money doing courses or whatever that I'm just gonna drop out of or fail....

I know it sounds pathetic and it is but there's not much I can do about it. Maybe in 5 years or summat things will be different....

I'd like to point out as well that for years I have felt immense pressure (not just from family) to make something of my life now now now....
 
LD Rudeboy said:
Don’t be afraid to ask your boss for support if you’re struggling. It’s in their interests for you to do well. I suspect with time and over the comedown, you’ll feel better. Everyone has off days too. Best of luck :cool:
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This is another part of the problem -

manager - he has said this but he is completely two faced, insensitive and patronising. If I do ask him something he looks at me like I'm stupid and laughs in a kind of "duh" way :(

boss - he is hardly here and when he is here is often shouting on the phone in French or just on the phone so I feel a bit alienated from him...

I keep forgetting stuff and being told off :o I can't do anything about it though, I've had bad memory for years :(

Anyway, thanks for your advice LDR. I guess I have no choice but to stick with it and see how I feel later (providing I don't get sacked).
 
Hey SZC, sorry you're having a bit of a rough time of it. I agree with what LDR says, especially as you and I work in the same field and I think the learning curve is a particularly steep one. My advice would be to stick with it, accept that it's going to be tough for a while but use the time while you're there to save as much as you can, explore what you do like about it and whether you can take that further, and just do your best. In a few months you may well have a different take on the whole situation, but even if not, you should have a nice financial cushion saved up, as well as an idea of what you dao and don't like doing. And in the meantime you can PM me whenever if you want any specific advice about stuff cos I've been doing this for years and am happy to help or just listen or whatever :)
Fwiw, I'm now nearly 31 and have only just decided what I want to do with my life. You've got a lot of time to play with still so try not to feel too pressured at the moment - and another thing, drive and ambition really aren't all that!
 
bluestreak said:
heh, that sounds like me during my early working days. without the people sleazing on me.

there's no answer. i've still got no drive or direction really. i channelled myself into the areas that i'm less miserable working in. you just got to put in the hours and keep on moving up the line until you find somewhere that doesnt make you want to poke your own eyes out.
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Hello me :)

I temped for 7 years - changed jobs every few weeks or months. All the jobs were dull, but I was in charge of my time and could get £11ph usually. However I got caught. A higher paying temp job came along and they kept giving me little pay rises. Then contracts, then permanent. And here I remain. It's alright. The money is alright. The job has a few moments of vague interest each week. I am never going to impress anyone with how cool my existence is, but it suits me well enough, and the eye poking sticks are gathering dust.
 
I'm in a similar position, as it seems many have been. For me resignation is not an option. I'll starve within 6 months and don't hold out much hope of finding a job I can do before that. On the other hand I've never been sacked, so am not sure how detromental long term it is. I was unemployed for 2 years after leaving uni, though for specific reasons. FWIW I do barely any work as it sends me into a coma and I think they're talking about this behind me right now.

:o
Sorry for hijack.


Anyway sso I'd say this.
Maybe just get another shitty job in a totally different area. Change as good as a rest. Might fire you up by way of showing you what you definitley do not want to do at the very least.

What you're going through is clearly a very common phenomanem.
 
i guess the best advice really is stick with it until you're pushed out or sick to depression with it. save some money though, so you can survive if you need a break. don't crucify yourself for not being any good, remember if the job was worth doing they wouldn't have to pay you to do it.


but seriously, don't piss the wages away, save it then when you know what you want to do you can afford to do it.*



*e2a: especially if you want to spend it all on buying me a canal boat to live in ;)
 
bluestreak said:
but seriously, don't piss the wages away, save it then when you know what you want to do you can afford to do it.*



*e2a: especially if you want to spend it all on buying me a canal boat to live in ;)
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You're right (but not about the canal boat :p )

I should really make an effort to save up starting from....now! I wish everything wasn't so expensive though!
 
Sounds like you're being given what I'm led to believe is the standard treatment for the youngest, newest female staff members in offices: The 'Could you just do this/see to this when you've got a moment? Cheers' ad infinitum tedium.

I think because of the people you're working with there aren't any people you really connect with or feel like are your friends: I've had jobs like that and there's no denying they suck. But all is not lost:

1. Are you still smoking? You should be- if you can't find any decent mates in your own office smoking outside increases your chances of meeting other people from the other floors of your building or adjacent buildings who act as receptacles for all the bullshit you've wanted to get off your chest from work, they'll feel the same about you and it's harmonious. Tab buddies.

2. What are your main modes of escapism out of worktime? Don't get too hung up on ambitions of the past, they don't matter anymore- save up and buy yourself an acoustic guitar or some sort of interesting musical instrument and start learning to play it...

3. Endeavour to extract as much satisfaction as possible from the little things which take your mind and time off doing shitty admin tasks for some slimeweasel in Lens
 
bluestreak said:
remember if the job was worth doing they wouldn't have to pay you to do it.
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I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here.

Are you saying only jobs you don't get paid for are worth doing? :confused: That makes no sense whatsoever.
 
Of course a load of people go through life hating their jobs but stick a photo of their dog/cat/partner/kids on the desk.

I believe management theory calls this extrinsic motivation. :cool:
 
Hollis said:
Of course a load of people go through life hating their jobs but stick a photo of their dog/cat/partner/kids on the desk.

I believe management theory calls this extrinsic motivation. :cool:
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That's a start....:)

Flavour - you're completely right. However.....there's no one else in our building! I work with 7 males all over 38....my manager is 29 and can be cool and chatty but then he becomes anal, insensitive and unhelpful. It's a bit of a headfuck actually so I've decided to stop the small talk with him....

Maybe I can get through another 3-6 months by having pictures of loved ones on my desk, eating lunch in the park/out of the office, saving money and doing interesting relaxing things in my spare time*.....


*this would be great if I weren't chronically lazy :o
 
xenon_2 said:
you could post on Urban all day
:)
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I do........

I find it really really hard to do something I have no interest in :o Sometimes I have to force myself to work. Also - a lot of the time my manager has criticisms to make, which is fine, except he gets all superior/confident/patronising and makes me feel like shit.

Oh well, if I go nuts and run away and live in a tree at least it will be exciting :)
 
I guess have a look round for something else. My job is mind numbing but at least I don't have managers giving me grief.

OK health warning on this because it's a bit contrary to what others have said. IMO and all that. But I reckon don't worry too much about saving money, if you reckon you can stick it out for a few months. Just go out and enjoy your free time, weather etc. To me that's a far too grim a prospect to for go doing social things due to saving money, whilst sticking at a loathsome job. If worst comes to worst and you're sacked, the dynamic will change, if that doesn't sound too wank. you'll find yourself applying for things you didn't think you would and your hand will be forced. but at least that breaks the inertia.

Or something.
 
SubZeroCat said:
I'd like to point out as well that for years I have felt immense pressure (not just from family) to make something of my life now now now....
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I tried several different career directions until I ended up in I.T....

One thing I learned is that you will only make something of your life when you want to. If you try doing this at others insistence, it won't be fun, just more pressure

It's your life remember

:)
 
I agree with LDR, and I also think that 19 is very young to be criticizing yourself for having no direction in life. Don't be so hard on yourself!

If you're really a manager (and the job sounded very administrative to me, from what you've said of your duties, with you reporting to your own managers), then ask yourself what kind of company would hire a 19-year-old manager with no experience? Possibly so that they can have someone in place that they can push around a bit? What I'm trying to say is that a lot of companies will give you a title, but then not give you any resources to do that title justice, and you end up not really having a clue where your responsibilities start and end. If you're the office administrator, then you know where you are. If you're a manager, then others should be doing the basic admin and you should be supervising them....

I dunno what to suggest, I stayed in a job I hated for MANY years because I had a mortgage from the age of 19 and it had to be paid, but miraculously through working my way up a bit things became much more interesting and I actually ended up in a pretty interesting job, but that took several years, not sure if that's what you want.

If I could do the time machine thing, at your age I would certainly get back into education. You CAN stick with education if you choose to, the majority of people are no better motivated than you, they just force themselves to get on with it.
 
pete_w_one said:
I tried several different career directions until I ended up in I.T....

One thing I learned is that you will only make something of your life when you want to. If you try doing this at others insistence, it won't be fun, just more pressure

It's your life remember

:)
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How very true. :cool:

When I finally got into uni I was so keen, and I really enjoyed it. You just need to be ready for it.

e2a: I was 23 when I went to uni, by the way.
 
This is it.. If I was 19 again, I like to think I'd fuck off and enjoy myself for afew years.. Probably wouldn't happen, but we can but dream, can we not.
 
Thanks for the good advice guys... :)

I need help with one more thing -

I need to address my manager about an email he sent me saying that his flight times were wrong and that he couldn't believe this and he'd talk to me about it on Wednesday. I know I booked that flight properly and was not surprised when I called the travel company and they said that strangely Air France amended at 9am yesterday morning and they didn't know why. They also assured me that his flight is still booked and ok and he can even take the one 1hr later if he wishes.

I'm angry that he assumed I fucked it up just like that and that he's spent all weekend in the belief that I was in the wrong and planning what to say to me tomorrow.

I want to say summat like "I don't think it is beneficial to our working relationship if you assume I am at fault" ?......LDR you're good at this, help me out! He did it again with something else too so this is important.

Thanks :)
 
sleaterkinney said:
Actually, you posted up a thread about cooking before, why don't you become a chef?
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I'd stab someone :D

Nah, not my thing. Couldn't cook under pressure and I might turn into a knob.

Hollis - I'm all grown up too quick :(
 
Just jokingly say "next time check it's not someone else before you go blaming me" - jokingly is the key word, if you're too serious he'll think "bloody hell what a sour face! cares too much" but if you show that you know he's a dick but also that it doesn't really matter to you then he'll feel like a complete arse (hopefully)
 
Flavour said:
Just jokingly say "next time check it's not someone else before you go blaming me" - jokingly is the key word, if you're too serious he'll think "bloody hell what a sour face! cares too much" but if you show that you know he's a dick but also that it doesn't really matter to you then he'll feel like a complete arse (hopefully)
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Hmm I dunno. I get your point but this isn't a joke. I'm really pissed off about this because yes I make mistakes and I'm more than happy to be made aware of them but there's no need to make things harder by blaming me for things that aren't my fault.

Worst is, he just blamed me immediately. Didn't find out what is was all about, just thought "Oh well it had to be stupid subzerocat"
 
Iemanja said:
How very true. :cool:

When I finally got into uni I was so keen, and I really enjoyed it. You just need to be ready for it.

e2a: I was 23 when I went to uni, by the way.
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Yep... I was told at school that I had no ambition and my teacher actually said to my parents that I would probably not achieve much. I left school with two GCE's & then I sodded about at Tech & then left with no quals after a year

Various jobss some years & then ended up in the NHS.... (management accounts) studied while working ... then got involved with computers and then left the Health Service... freelanced in programming for a while & then went perm again .... now enjoying what I'm doing very much (Proj Manager)

IMO the main thing is to not worry too much about what everyone else thinks or says... you make your own choices & have to live with them.. no-one else does
 
SubZeroCat said:
I'm angry that he assumed I fucked it up just like that and that he's spent all weekend in the belief that I was in the wrong and planning what to say to me tomorrow.
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Stand up for yourself now - or it will get worse.

Don't be afraid to be the moody cow. In fact it is all the better at work to cultivate a persona that people don't trifle with. Ask to discuss it and set out what they have said and when.

And don't be afraid to threaten to leave. And then don't be afraid to leave :)
 
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