I have just been kicked out of my childrens school

[pogofish]

ah, the police .. as there are not phycial marks on the children they will not take the issue seriously but they do have to log the issues,

My daughter said today that she is very worried about the safety of her little brother, how horrible is that that an 8 year old should ever these worries let alone a 6 year old be scared of going to school

The police don't need marks as abuse/assault/intimmidation is interpreted differently today. Even a situation where they just feel threatened is covered.

That your daughter is worried is evidence enough, especially if any of her friends/their parents will give statements.

Seriously, think about speaking to them or one of the anti-abuse organisations - Childline is the one that prps into my head but there are others. Don't let this continue another day but equally, keep the heid & don't give the school any further opportunity to screw things up by having you labeled as dangerous.

You have an absolute right to insist on a safe & non-threatening environment for your child & any school failing to provide that in completely negligent.

 

[pogofish]

Also remember that LEAs have to observe time limits over complaints otherwise they become negligent. I can't remember them all but IIRC, they have to arrange a meeting within 3 days of a complaint. Some of the parental websites may have up to date info. So keep all your communications on paper & use recorded delivery etc. Also remember the local Authority Ombudsman if they are failling their basic service.

 

[WouldBe]

good idea to go to the doctor toggle, and thanks to everyone else

cheers

Photograph any marks as well.

 

[madamv]

What an awful, negligent situation to be in Space Girl. You have my sympathy.

My bubs will start school next year, and think of that has been scary enough. Reading your thread has made my blood run cold and I feel really angry for your children.

Good luck with your efforts, dont let him/them get away with it. Can you keep your kids home?

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

You've got a right to be angry and raise stuff but if you'd been like that at my school I'd have removed you from the premises as well.

Depending on my previous relationship with you I'd then either call you or invite you in for a formal meeting later in the day or the next day. If you'd kicked off before, it'd have been the phone.

You are angry and you have a complaints procedure you can use. It doesn't help to create a scene at school.

 

[Space Girl]

the thing really is not about my kids being beaten on (well it is) but it's about the head not stopping it, he never tells any of the bullies off, he never contacts the parents of the bullies, he does fuck all

he has is own agenda, he never answers a question he just does not see that he is doing anything wrong, afterall, god thinks he's doing a good job and when you ask him about what he has done he says things about what jesus would do :

 

[RubberBuccaneer]

the thing really is not about my kids being beaten on (well it is) but it's about the head not stopping it, he never tells any of the bullies off, he never contacts the parents of the bullies, he does fuck all

he has is own agenda, he never answers a question he just does not see that he is doing anything wrong, afterall, god thinks he's doing a good job and when you ask him about what he has done he says things about what jesus would do :

Jesus was no mug - he kicked up holy shit in the temple, tell the cunt that

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

the thing really is not about my kids being beaten on (well it is) but it's about the head not stopping it, he never tells any of the bullies off, he never contacts the parents of the bullies, he does fuck all

How do you know that?
Whatever he does to the bullies - he can't tell you. Would you like him telling other parents what he does to your child?

 

[WouldBe]

when you ask him about what he has done he says things about what jesus would do

Ask him if he'd like to be nailed to a door frame.

 

[Space Girl]

You've got a right to be angry and raise stuff but if you'd been like that at my school I'd have removed you from the premises as well.

Depending on my previous relationship with you I'd then either call you or invite you in for a formal meeting later in the day or the next day. If you'd kicked off before, it'd have been the phone.

You are angry and you have a complaints procedure you can use. It doesn't help to create a scene at school.

like I said, I would kill for my children so when I find out that they have been attacked yet again how do you think I should react when I see the smug wanker who is supposed to protect my children, he has a fucking duty of care an I as a mother have a right to voice my horror of the continuing situation, I am not saying that I was right in raising my voice but has he got a right to fucking continue with ignoring the attacks on my children and others? no he fucking hasn;'t and no amount of meetings, letters, phone calls, formal complaints has worked, this guy would wind the most saintly of people, he is like the worst polition in the world, never answers your questions, never looks you in the eye, won't listen to you, denies all the claims and evidence, it's like talking to a brick wall and if that brick wall won't listen then I am going to have to fucking shout to get myself heard

and for your info, my partner who was there works in a special school for perminantly expelled primary school children, so he is well aware of bulllying and how things should be handled, he knows what a school should be doing and how to get things done, even he, who has the patients of a saint and is gentle as a lamb lost it today

and as for how you would have handled me, I do hope that you would not have ever allow these situations to get this far as if you do then you are no better than he is

oh and don't tell me about systems to use, I have tried them all and been stonewalled, the governors, the LEA - all fucking useless, so you tell me how I should protect my children

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

OK, I didn't mean to have a go at you.

It does get to that 'stage' in every school. Sometimes it's a mistaken perception. Sometimes it's real. Is there a police liaison officer?

 

[Space Girl]

How do you know that?
Whatever he does to the bullies - he can't tell you. Would you like him telling other parents what he does to your child?

because I know 11 of the parents who have taken their children out of the school and know their situations, that's how I fucking know, I know the parents of the bullies (it's the same group of children who have bullied all the children who have left by the way) and I know what they have been told, that that is jack fucking shit, don't start having a pop at me, I don't make statements like this unless I know the truth

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

because I know 11 of the parents who have taken their children out of the school and know their situations, that's how I fucking know, I know the parents of the bullies (it's the same group of children who have bullied all the children who have left by the way) and I know what they have been told, that that is jack fucking shit, don't start having a pop at me, I don't make statements like this unless I know the truth

"Don't discuss this unless you agree with me. Don't ask awkward questions."

Don't put it in public then. Sorry, but I've tried to ask those questions in case you haven't considered them. You're posting in exactly the style that probably got you kicked out.

I still can't see that you know the head, governors etc have done nothing.

 

[Space Girl]

OK, I didn't mean to have a go at you.

It does get to that 'stage' in every school. Sometimes it's a mistaken perception. Sometimes it's real. Is there a police liaison officer?

really, it came across that you were that savour of the head there, just because you work in a school doesn't mean that you should always side with other schools you know so just think about what we have been through and hope that you don't ever find yourselves in our shoes as I would like to see if you keep calm in the same situation

oh and it's real alright, there ain't no mountains out of molehills here but even if there were, they are my molehills and if I want to make mountains out of them who the fuck are you to judge me and how I feel towards the safety of my children?

 

[Space Girl]

I still can't see that you know the head, governors etc have done nothing.

hum... all the bullies still remain and still continue to bully... what more is there to say honey?

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

really, it came across that you were that savour of the head there, just because you work in a school doesn't mean that you should always side with other schools you know so just think about what we have been through and hope that you don't ever find yourselves in our shoes as I would like to see if you keep calm in the same situation

oh and it's real alright, there ain't no mountains out of molehills here but even if there were, they are my molehills and if I want to make mountains out of them who the fuck are you to judge me and how I feel towards the safety of my children?

I'm not saying it's not real.

 

[spanglechick]

hum... all the bullies still remain and still continue to bully... what more is there to say honey?

i do think this head sounds like an incompetant arsehole. I do understand your frustration.

It sounds to me as if nothing short of permenant exclusion would seem right - and I can see that that would be the obvious answer. I've no time for bullies who are resistant to sanctions.

as your partner must know - it's just about impossible for the head to do that based on the kinds of incidents you've mentioned. even effectual heads aren't allowed to exclude for this kind of thing - horrific as it is. i'd be amazed if other sanctions haven't been applied though - but i wouldn't expect the bullies' parents to be honest about them - the parents who have left wouldn't have that knowledge offically - so any info they might have might not be accurate.

it sounds as if lunchtime supervision needs to be more effectual. staff should not be supervising (teachers are entitled to, and need lunch breaks) - but the head - who presumably doesn't teach all day, could do so. or he could train his lunchtime supervisors. maybe suggest this in a letter, copied to the LEA and you MP.

to help themselves, in the meantime (and you may already have done this), tell your kids they must, must, must report any violence, as soon as possible to their class teacher as well as the l-time supervisor.

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

Spanglechick put it far far better than me.

 

[Space Girl]

i do think this head sounds like an incompetant arsehole. I do understand your frustration.

It sounds to me as if nothing short of permenant exclusion would seem right - and I can see that that would be the obvious answer. I've no time for bullies who are resistant to sanctions.

as your partner must know - it's just about impossible for the head to do that based on the kinds of incidents you've mentioned. even effectual heads aren't allowed to exclude for this kind of thing - horrific as it is. i'd be amazed if other sanctions haven't been applied though - but i wouldn't expect the bullies' parents to be honest about them - the parents who have left wouldn't have that knowledge offically - so any info they might have might not be accurate.

it sounds as if lunchtime supervision needs to be more effectual. staff should not be supervising (teachers are entitled to, and need lunch breaks) - but the head - who presumably doesn't teach all day, could do so. or he could train his lunchtime supervisors. maybe suggest this in a letter, copied to the LEA and you MP.

to help themselves, in the meantime (and you may already have done this), tell your kids they must, must, must report any violence, as soon as possible to their class teacher as well as the l-time supervisor.

the head does not teach at all, it's a tiny school and he just does not have any control or even seems to what to control the bullies, I understand the issues of exclussion and the complications involved but there is no repremanding at all going, my daughter even told him that my son was bullying the younger kids and he said nothing to my boy, he just told the younger children to leave ...that's so wrong

 

[Space Girl]

Spanglechick put it far far better than me.

ain;t that the truth and if that's what you were trying to say I do hope that you are not a teacher, would hate for the kids not to know what you are trying to say

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

ain;t that the truth and if that's what you were trying to say I do hope that you are not a teacher, would hate for the kids not to know what you are trying to say

Just a stressed manager who can't communicate any more.

 

[spanglechick]

the head does not teach at all, it's a tiny school and he just does not have any control or even seems to what to control the bullies, I understand the issues of exclussion and the complications involved but there is no repremanding at all going, my daughter even told him that my son was bullying the younger kids and he said nothing to my boy, he just told the younger children to leave ...that's so wrong

what an arse.

what about your children's class teachers? do either of them seem competant? i think they must be really worried too - their school seems to be collapsing. could they come onside?

i suppose you have to work, yes?

you'd be justified, i think, in keeping them home until the LEA takes steps to ensure their safety - but i understand that may be impossible.

 

[nonamenopackdrill]

you'd be justified, i think, in keeping them home until the LEA takes steps to ensure their safety - but i understand that may be impossible.

That's also really really bad for them!

 

[Strumpet]

you'd be justified, i think, in keeping them home until the LEA takes steps to ensure their safety - but i understand that may be impossible.

That's an option I might seriously consider if it was happening to my daughter tbh. Nothing wrong with homeschooling if done well. Many homeschooled groups about nowadays so socializing and spending plenty of time with peers is not a problem. As Spanglechick said...impossible if you work though.

I understand your anger completely SpaceGirl. I'd be fiercely protective too (although I don't do shouting that well...I'd have prob. sat there and made it clear I was not going til something was decided...might not have worked either but lol). I wouldn't be prepared to just let my child keep going to a place that wasn't safe for her, sod that. Bullying is a serious business....not something to be put up with til someone gets their ass in gear and sorts something out. They may be just another kid to the headmaster, but, it's your 'baby/ies'.

Go girl as someone else said up there ^

 

[blues]

what do you thinks?

Been there. Lucky for me, I was on good terms with my daughters' teachers so I could trust them to form a barrier between the head I reported (to LEA) and repurcussions. They also agreed with my complaint and were glad someone had it in them to take it over the Head's head.

I would say go for it. Even though you might feel your kid is embarrassed at you creating a fuss, at least they'll know when everything else let's them down, you're still there and will come out fighting on their behalf. AndHead's have a tendency to think there's no authority better than theirs so a complaint to the dioces andLEA makes them realise they are actually answerable for their (in)actions.

Then again, when my eldest was being bullied at middle school (later and I didnt know the staff), I told her if she'd done all the regular stuff reporting to playground staff, then form tutor etc and nothing happened, then sock the bully one and even if school gave her a hard time I wouldnt - so you might not want to listen to my opinion!

 

[Space Girl]

If I have to take them out I will, my partner works in a school and he will quit to educate them at home but it's not what we want to do, I want them to have the social interaction that they get in school (not that it's social at present)

Naturally, like all parents our children are our world, my partner was a stay at home dad until they went to school, he then got a job in a school so no-one had to look after them other than us and if he had to give up work to teach them then he would 9I can't as I am the main wage earner and I ain't no teacher ), but it still goes back to why should I have to take that route? the head is at fault not my kids

as for the other teachers, 3 of them are wonderful and hate the head, I went straight to one of them today after the banchie incident, she calmed me down and promised to look after my children and said that I was not to worry, that there were things happening that she could not talk about
she also spoke to my children today and said that if anything happened to them they were to go straight to her . when we previously bought up the subject of the lack of supervision the head agreed with us and told us there would be better staffing of playtimes, we asked for his stratagies in writting but never got them, the staffing at playtimes has not increased and the communication between the head and his staff is abismal, the teacher that I spoke to tday, who is my son's teacher had no idea of the incidences in the past that had taken place, if the head doesn't tell her how is she to know what goes on in the playground when it is the head that the children have reported the incidences to?

Both my children do jujitsu, they know how to wack a punch but they have been told that it's not something you tell others about and that they should not hit anyone but today we told them that they must never hit first but if they can not run away after someone has hit them that they are to kick the shite out of anyone who is attacking them, we will face the issues of this if it happens which I hope but as no-one is defending them then they have to do it, stark reality and not a nice thing to say to children of 6 and 8 but what else should they do, take the repeated beatings and strangling?

 

[Space Girl]

Been there. Lucky for me, I was on good terms with my daughters' teachers so I could trust them to form a barrier between the head I reported (to LEA) and repurcussions. They also agreed with my complaint and were glad someone had it in them to take it over the Head's head.

QUOTE]

what was the outcome?

 

[q_w_e_r_t_y]

Sounds like you're on the right path, ...eventually one of the folk you have contacted will get back to you, but I suspect it may take a while. In the meantime tho, there is the immediate issue of the bullying that the school arent addressing.

If you know the parents of the children who are bullying might it be possible to speak to them directly at the school gates?

I would be horrified if I thought that my children were bullying others, might a (gentle) discussion with the parents looking at how you can tackle the situation between your children help?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

...I have also been given a number for the specialist education law centre in essex uni if I really do want to take it legally further knowing that it will cost me...

I've vaguely heard of them, it's supposed to be good.

But will it cost you? If the action is taken on behalf of your children, who are minors, and who don't have an income of their own, then shouldn't it be legally aided?

NB: I don't know, I'm just wondering.

Anyway, I don't really have any specific experience, so I'm afraid I can't be more helpful, but having experienced some bullying and harrassment in the workplace I know how traumatic stuff like this can be, and I wish you and your children the very best in resolving this problem.

Maybe try your local MP as well? And surely there should be some kind of Department of Education guidelines about dealing with bullying in schools? Shouldn't there? Does the school/LEA have a policy about bullying? Have they followed the policy?

Remember, there was that legal case a while ago where a girl from Wales (I think) took her former school to court because they didn't deal with bullying when she was young. It's an issue that's being taken much more seriously nowadays when it gets to becoming a legal matter, there are precedents/case law now to be taken into account, which mean that schools/education authorities can be found legally liable for not dealing with bullying.

 

[winterinmoscow]

I'm so sorry to read this, sounds horrible.

can't say much really not being a parent or any way connected with schools or kids but I hope it gets sorted out, awful awful situation

good luck