I have been disappointed by a Battenburg cake

[innit]

to say that i have always been disappointed in battenburg cakes because they don't have chocolate in them

can't you read?

Well you've said it.

NOW LEAVE

 

[Annierak]

But aren't they biscuits?

I was just expressing my love for them and thats my chosen treat . I don't care for cake really.

 

[sojourner]

Well you've said it.

NOW LEAVE

*kicks cat on way out*


*mumble*fuckingshitfuckingcakeanyway*mumble*

 

[Popsicle]

If they can find a way to make blue Smarties again, surely they can find a way to make the pink in the Battenburg?


The cake itself tastes like plastic, but that's not the point.

*oops, I just realised that the rubbish taste was in fact the point*

 

[Rollem]

you should have bought a madiera (sp) cake instead


nothing disapointing about mediera cake

 

[RubyToogood]

Only because if you'd bought a madeira cake you wouldn't have any expectations in the first place.

 

[Rollem]

yes, well, can't go wrong with a bit of madeira (spelt it right that time )

 

[Tank Girl]

I don't care for cake really.

you've gone wrong

 

[Onket]

I didn't know they were being banned. But it just so happens that I've got one in the freezer anyway, I'll keep it for the grandchildren.

 

[Tank Girl]

sell it on the black market.

 

[Annierak]

This thread is rubbish compared to my jaffa cake one

*runs*

 

[pogofish]

Remember that many cheap battenburgs use that cheap waxy pseudo-marzipan that is made from flavoured apricot kernels instead of almonds.

 

[pogofish]

Also, the Battenburg was inspired by a marble floor so it could be expected to be a bit bland.

 

[RubyToogood]

Remember that many cheap battenburgs use that cheap waxy pseudo-marzipan that is made from flavoured apricot kernels instead of almonds.

I'd never thought of apricot kernels as being cheap, that's what they make amaretti biscuits and amaretto liqueur from, and I don't see why they'd need to flavour them as they have a much stronger flavour than almonds.

I dispute what you say, sir.

 

[Onket]

Remember that many cheap battenburgs use that cheap waxy pseudo-marzipan that is made from flavoured apricot kernels instead of almonds.

How does this effect the price I can charge on the black market for the one in my freezer?

 

[Wilson]

It's about to vanish too: new EU rules on food colourings mean the end of the Battenburg, there's no workable colouring replacement apparently

its not the EU banning the colourings, its the UK food safety people doing so, the EU still support the use of said colourings, so now food produced in the UK will be forbidden from having this stuff in it but food produced in other parts of europe will not be and it will be quite acceptable for those countries to export said foodstuffs to the UK, furthermore not all battenburg cake contains these colourings anyway so Battenburg cake will not be banned at all

 

[mentalchik]

so Battenburg cake will not be banned at all

Hurrah !



(mmmmm battenburg)

 

[han]

It's about to vanish too: new EU rules on food colourings mean the end of the Battenburg, there's no workable colouring replacement apparently

x 100000

I used to have a battenburg every year for my birthday when I was little! My first one had one candle on it.

I feel sad now.

 

[han]

its not the EU banning the colourings, its the UK food safety people doing so, the EU still support the use of said colourings, so now food produced in the UK will be forbidden from having this stuff in it but food produced in other parts of europe will not be and it will be quite acceptable for those countries to export said foodstuffs to the UK, furthermore not all battenburg cake contains these colourings anyway so Battenburg cake will not be banned at all

oh hurrah! All is well with the world again

 

[Jorum]

Just to advise the ruling is the UK food standard agency, NOT the EU.

No excuse to blame them this time (although there rarely is - most of the EU regs are based on British regs anyway, such as the famous bendy banana)

 

[sonik]

It's about to vanish too: new EU rules on food colourings mean the end of the Battenburg, there's no workable colouring replacement apparently

WHAT!!!! Is this for real? I love Battenburg, if this is the case i am going to have to stock pile a load of them...

 

[pogofish]

Ruby - Apricot kernels may well have good uses all their own but when they start immitating other perfectly good foods at lower quality, just for the sake of production capacity, little good is liable to emerge.

Ditto Bulgarian plums, they make loadsa unplummy things out of them, incl jams of all sorts & a passsble bottle of immitation Johnnie Walker!

 

[innit]

WHAT!!!! Is this for real? I love Battenburg, if this is the case i am going to have to stock pile a load of them...

Just don't buy them from Sainsburys

 

[sonik]

Just don't buy them from Sainsburys

You bought a Sainsburys own? No wonder it was shit!!

 

[innit]

You bought a Sainsburys own? No wonder it was shit!!

What kind would you buy then, smartarse?!

 

[sonik]

What kind would you buy then, smartarse?!

Lyons of course!

 

[spanglechick]

In my last year at uni, i lived in 'Battenburg Road' in leicester. truth.

 

[trashpony]

its not the EU banning the colourings, its the UK food safety people doing so, the EU still support the use of said colourings, so now food produced in the UK will be forbidden from having this stuff in it but food produced in other parts of europe will not be and it will be quite acceptable for those countries to export said foodstuffs to the UK, furthermore not all battenburg cake contains these colourings anyway so Battenburg cake will not be banned at all

kin ell, that sentence makes my brain ache.

Anyway, all you battenburg lovers will be pleased to hear that my nan has survived for years on nothing but battenburg cake and nimble bread sandwiches filled with heinz sandwich spread. She is 98 in a couple of months and still lives in her own house with no help.

So battenburg preserves you

 

[innit]

Lyons of course!

Bah, I bought the Sainsbury's own one cos it was the only sort they had