I don't know how to wear clothes

[May Kasahara]

Don't forget, we need money as well! You've got Glasto, I've got Dour, moomoo's got three kids Maybe a little while to save might be good...

 

[bikergrrl]

I wouldn't mind a shopping trip in Brum (if I'm allowed to come). Obanite and I went last weekend, but didn't get chance to look in any of the clothes shops, he dragged me off ring shopping.

 

[May Kasahara]

The bastard!

Yes, come, we'll have fun

(You know we're just going to end up in the pub, don't you? )

 

[twisted_angel]

I know what you mean about the shops here May they are pretty lame, i think everyone has problems with certain parts of their bodies and although you think they look great they probably have the same misgivings as you do about how they look.

I tend to see something i really like then think " im too old for that" me and my daughter have the same taste in clothes whch is good in some ways but i get that mutton dressed as lamb feeling washing over me occasionally, but i try to just go for what i like, regardless of fashion, i think some of the looks are unflattering and frumpy at the moment to be honest and make you look bigger than you are.

The shopping trip sounds ideal, if you go shopping and see it as fun and not as a chore then you will enjoy the clothes more.

Experiment and remember belts, bags and jewellery to give clothes different looks.

 

[aqua]

(You know we're just going to end up in the pub, don't you? )

I know many clothes shops that have bars in in birmingham (well, enough anyway )

 

[ivebeenhigh]

*as a boy tiptoes into thread*

i work in a fashion comapny, and at my place, where EVERYONE tries really hard to look cool/fahionable/edgy/innovative whatever and theoretically as they work in fashion the SHOULD know how to dress yet most of them still spend so much time fretting over what to wear and looking for validation in the approval of others.

Um my point is you can always make yourslef feel bad if you compare yourself to others. So try not to do that.

 

[MsShirlLaverne]

May, I don't know the street names in Leiscester but there are some very good independent shops that run off High Street just opposite the entrance to the Shires that comes out opposite Habitat.
The fashions in the multiples are shit at the moment, imo, and it's hard to look good in anything.
If you go to the smaller shops you'll get better advice on what to buy.
Also agree with what others have said about body image and another thing to remember is don't go shopping for clothes if you don't feel good.

 

[aqua]

don't go shopping for clothes if you don't feel good.

holy moly ain't that the truth

 

[May Kasahara]

May, I don't know the street names in Leiscester but there are some very good independent shops that run off High Street just opposite the entrance to the Shires that comes out opposite Habitat.

Yeah, that is pretty much the best place to go and I do check them out regularly also, but have had mixed results - I think some of their staff could do with a few lessons in selling from that Mary Queen of Shops woman, if you know what I mean. Maybe it is (also) just that fashion atm is a bit rubbish.

 

[moomoo]

right, a date will be sorted and posted soon

*Squeals with excitement*

 

[LDR]

i know how you feel may. i know plenty of blokes with a sense of innate style, but whatever i do i look and feel like a lumpy tramp. it sucks, but i think if i was going to learn i would have done so by now

Bah! You think you have it bad. People keep mistaking me for you.

 

[longdog]

...I'm desparate for new clothes

<confiscates aqua's credit cards>

 

[pembrokestephen]

But now I am a flabby size 12, I have to think harder about how to wear clothes, and I'm finding it really difficult.

This is the sentence that jumped out at me.

This isn't about clothes, or how you wear them.

This is about self-esteem.

That is all.

 

[pembrokestephen]

Are you sure? Maybe you just *think* you don't look right.

Got it in one, I think. I bet if May posted photos, we'd struggle to see the problem.

 

[Greebo]

Even if your underwear is all in good conditon, treat yourself to some new stuff, which fits perfectly, and is in colours and styles that you love. Finding exactly what you're after might not be easy, but IMHO it's worth it.

Even if nobody else sees it, it can make you feel a lot better about yourself, this changes how you stand & move, and that will make you look a lot better, even to people who don't know you.

 

[pixie-iso]

If you're not girly, then this autumn the shops will have lots of stuff you'll like.
It's all going urban warrior (whatever that means) sportswear influenced. What this means is stuff like this:
Topshop Boutique

You can look for similar stuff in chazzas, it's basically a rehash or '90s minimalism. I can't underestimate the power of charity shops. You can also get a nice printed top/smock dep on your body shape and make it less girly by adding bold statement jewellery like chunky wood or perspex stuff. But if you find a certain cut of trouser that flatters, an era of fashion you like etc.. like everyone else has said, stick with it and buy things up when they're in fashion so if you love tunics for ex buy em now before they're soo passe and you can't find any.
Volume is big at the mo, so if you've got good legs try tight trousers and billowy top, or pouffy skirt and fitted shirt (realise pouffy skirt might be outside of most peoples' fashion comfort zone!)

If there's a pic of you anywhere on Urban that would make my job a bit easier.

 

[baldrick]

If you're not girly, then this autumn the shops will have lots of stuff you'll like.
It's all going urban warrior (whatever that means) sportswear influenced. What this means is stuff like this:
Topshop Boutique

Have been keeping an eye on this thread, lots of useful stuff to think about - but the above has totally dismayed me, it's horrible! the only stuff i like are the parkas

this is why i don't bother with fashion and feel dreadfully scruffy all the time. i find it difficult to "see" myself in stuff that i don't usually wear, don't take any risks and end up in casual clothes.

practicality ( ) is the biggest thing for me when it comes to clothes, something i want to try and move away from, but it never seems to happen.
i like shoes that i can wear all day and walk miles in and the same seems to happen with my clothes, boring i know but i dunno how to escape from the trauma of trainers and t-shirts

 

[moomoo]

boring i know but i dunno how to escape from the trauma of trainers and t-shirts

I think this is the problem. We get stuck into a rut of what we wear and, I don't know if this is true for you or not, but if I try something radically different to what I normally wear I always feel self conscious and would feel uncomfortable wearing it out

 

[SubZeroCat]

If there's a pic of you anywhere on Urban that would make my job a bit easier.

Look at the Ugly Mug Index thread in the community forum - there's an alphabetical list of posters, with links to their photos.

pixie-iso isn't a perv or a weirdo btw May just in case you were worried

 

[baldrick]

if I try something radically different to what I normally wear I always feel self conscious and would feel uncomfortable wearing it out

oh, absolutely right.

i think it must be a confidence issue somewhere

 

[aqua]

right then, lets arrange a date *toddles off to start a new thread*

 

[SubZeroCat]

oh, absolutely right.

i think it must be a confidence issue somewhere

Yeah, I do experiment more nowadays (which is probably a sign that I am more comfortable) but I get all squirmy and self concious if I experiment too much and then the baggy trousers come back on

 

[aqua]

I love experimenting with new clothes and shoes, but I'm lacking in the confidence to wear them with my mates for fear of them laughing at me

I wore a new pair of shoes today and all I've got all day from friends at work is "oooooo you have girly shoes on"

which isn't helping me at all

 

[SubZeroCat]

I love experimenting with new clothes and shoes, but I'm lacking in the confidence to wear them with my mates for fear of them laughing at me

I wore a new pair of shoes today and all I've got all day from friends at work is "oooooo you have girly shoes on"

which isn't helping me at all

Ask them to be more understanding? Do your mates know that you fear them laughing at you? I'm sure they'd be appalled at the thought of upsetting you.

I think partly you have to ignore them. Sometimes people can only communicate through banter - they see a change and rather than saying "Your shoes look nice" or "You look different " they take the piss (in a friendly way). I'm guilty of this sometimes Remember they aren't being mean, they're just commenting on change.

 

[aqua]

you know whats worse? I'm actually quite scared of wearing something different even in front of baldrick

I *know* she wouldn't be horrid, I *know* that, but it doesn't make a difference I even didn't buy something cos I thought people would laugh

I've beenstuck in combats and tshirts for so long now I've forgotten the things I used to wear

fucks sake

*waits for baldrick to shout at her *

 

[SubZeroCat]

Is it a reaction, whatever reaction, that scares you most?

Wearing something new or different will draw attention to you and that makes us feel self conscious. The only thing to do is practice it, get used to it. It's scary but you have to get used to feeling that you now stand out a bit more, that you're not hiding in combats in t-shirts anymore.

 

[aqua]

nah, its people saying "what you wearing that for, thats girly"

or laugh at me for not fitting into their perception of me

when it never EVER used to bother me, I used to adore clothes, and have a fab collection at home

 

[moomoo]

I love experimenting with new clothes and shoes, but I'm lacking in the confidence to wear them with my mates for fear of them laughing at me

I wore a new pair of shoes today and all I've got all day from friends at work is "oooooo you have girly shoes on"

which isn't helping me at all

That's exactly the reaction I get

 

[Pieface]

It makes me squirmy if I get that - but if they say "why are you wearing that?" you just have to go "because they are fab" or "because it's my birthday" or "because I'm tired of my other shoes" with a big smile and wander off.

 

[aqua]

yeah I know the theory, but it doesn't work

it makes me want to go and hide under my table and hide who I am