I don't exactly *feel* harrassed but...

[sleaterkinney]

Frankly, I can't quite believe he could possibly mean it, or even mean it as a joke and risk me taking him seriously.

<-- self-esteem 'issue' cuz carrying teh xtra poundage

Unless he was on a windup he meant it. Either way he's a twat.

 

[SubZeroCat]

Frankly, I can't quite believe he could possibly mean it, or even mean it as a joke and risk me taking him seriously.

<-- self-esteem 'issue' cuz carrying teh xtra poundage

I'm sorry you have self-esteem issues - they suck

But it's hardly a compliment is it? It's not a very respectful way to romance teh lady? The words and innuendos he used are inappropriate, whatever his intention.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Yes. I sent the loon line in reply to the cheeks and BBW one.

I suppoose they don't go together, no but I suppsoe that's the point - if I replied in kind I'd be making it worse innit

Nah, I was talking about his success email. Which seems to be utterly unrelated to yours! But maybe that's a "him" thing.

 

[Brainaddict]

Frankly, I can't quite believe he could possibly mean it, or even mean it as a joke and risk me taking him seriously.

THe way I see it, I'm not sure it makes that much difference whether he's joking or not. He's still engaging with you as a potential sex object rather than as a colleague with whom he should be professional

Some people have said this kind of banter between people can be normal - but then it should be two-way surely?

 

[goldenecitrone]

It does sound like he's trying it on with you. Why else would he indulge in sexual banter unless he fancied you. Or maybe he's gay. Does he look like Kenneth Williams?

 

[ymu]

Hope that did the trick.

I had a similar situation a few years ago. I just ignored the e-mails but when they didn't stop told him to quit it. I think if I'd been as jokey as you in your e-mails he'd have just seen it as a green light.

After that he messed with my computer (porn and shit) - IT had enough evidence that it was him and offered to act on it. I opted to have it put on record in case it got worse or someone else complained and needed back up, but asked for it not to be raised formally.

Hope it doesn't turn out that creepy for you.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Reporting sexual harassment (or any kind of sexual crime) is a bugger really. One one hand, it's important to deal with it because you don't want people thinking they can get away with that behaviour. On the other hand, it can often really difficult and intimidating for the person on the receiving end to report it, and I certainly don't think they should be made to feel worse through being pressurised.

I once reported a case of sexual harassment - it felt very official and dramatic, but the people taking my statement were really supportive and understanding.

 

[5t3IIa]

Nah, I was talking about his success email. Which seems to be utterly unrelated to yours! But maybe that's a "him" thing.

I took it to mean 'Success breeds lunacy!', which is actually meaningless, but in the context of our bizarre exchange seemed to make some sense, and have a teeny tiny acknowlegement that he'd heard what I said.


I'm happy with it anyway. He just sent me a pic of that albino gorilla off the Basement Jaxx cover and wished me a good afternoon

 

[SubZeroCat]

I once reported a case of sexual harassment - it felt very official and dramatic, but the people taking my statement were really supportive and understanding.

Eek what happened? Unless you'd rather not say on here of course..

 

[sleaterkinney]

edit - ignore me I'm a twat.

 

[gabi]

I'm happy with it anyway. He just sent me a pic of that albino gorilla off the Basement Jaxx cover and wished me a good afternoon

Um, do u know what that gorilla's name is perchance?

 

[5t3IIa]

Some people have said this kind of banter between people can be normal - but then it should be two-way surely?

Exactly. If I fancied him I'd be posting about whether it's advisable to shag someone in your office innit

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Eek what happened? Unless you'd rather not say on here of course..

Tbh in the grand scheme of things, this wasn't too much of a big deal either. It was more surreal than anything else.

I got sexually harassed on two occasions via intercom (so I couldn't see who was doing it). The first time it was "hey baby, hey sexy baby", the second time it was more of the same with "I can see your knickers" and "yeah, you, the one smoking a cigarette".

Actually, I'd be lying if I said it didn't upset me, and it was a bit freaky because I couldn't see who was doing it. It stopped the minute after I reported it though - as I said, I think the place I was working for dealt with it excellently.

 

[5t3IIa]

Um, do u know what that gorilla's name is perchance?

My name is Snowflake. Wanna make somethng out of it?
\

 

[Agent Sparrow]

edit - ignore me I'm a twat.

I saw what you posted there and thought it was dead funny actually!

 

[gabi]

My name is Snowflake. Wanna make somethng of it?
\

Doh, i always thought he was called Rooty.. guess its just the name of the album..

e2a: Is he a kiwi/aussie btw?

 

[5t3IIa]

e2a: Is he a kiwi/aussie btw?

J the Loon or Snowflake?

J is Islington born and bred and I think Snowflake has Spanish citizenship.

 

[SubZeroCat]

Tbh in the grand scheme of things, this wasn't too much of a big deal either. It was more surreal than anything else.

I got sexually harassed on two occasions via intercom (so I couldn't see who was doing it). The first time it was "hey baby, hey sexy baby", the second time it was more of the same with "I can see your knickers" and "yeah, you, the one smoking a cigarette".

Actually, I'd be lying if I said it didn't upset me, and it was a bit freaky because I couldn't see who was doing it. It stopped the minute after I reported it though - as I said, I think the place I was working for dealt with it excellently.

Yeah that's creepy. I'd imagine that you reporting is likely to have stopped them from doing it again, or at least in a hurry. They prob thought they could get away with it via intercom

 

[ymu]

Doh, i always thought he was called Rooty.. guess its just the name of the album..

Well - unless Stella has indicated an interest in large albino primates, I'm guessing the reference was intended.

 

[gabi]

Ah ok.. Rooting is slang for shagging downunder ya see.. doesnt seem to be in use over here..

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=root

maybe im now reading too much into this filthbags emails i think.. im going home..

 

[ymu]

It is in use here - not common, but widely understood AFAIK.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

maybe im now reading too much into this filthbags emails i think..

Maybe they should be studied in English literature?

 

[5t3IIa]

Ooops. The Snowflake pic was in response to a fat cat in a shoebox pic that I sent him in response to an earlier email that I honestly had no other reply to.

I'll find it and you can all go EW! brblolz

e2a:

I bring word of the success of your plot to overthrow the duke mistress; your tactycks have frustrated the barbarian hordes and the King is preparing a hero's welcome for you!

Excuse my folly, for it is but the afternoon and my stomach is troubled by an undigested carrot.

Not sleazey, that one. Just mad.

 

[sleaterkinney]

I saw what you posted there and thought it was dead funny actually!

I just thought in hindsight - maybe I shouldn't be joking about that.

Reporting sexual harassment (or any kind of sexual crime) is a bugger really.

*snigger*.

 

[rutabowa]

er it sounds to meet like you are both email flirting!

 

[5t3IIa]

er it sounds to meet like you are both email flirting!

Me?

 

[rutabowa]

Me?

well yes a little bit! just going on what emails you've posted. they're not very discouraging anyway.

 

[5t3IIa]

well yes a little bit! just going on what emails you've posted. they're not very discouraging anyway.

I thought he was merely being friendly and silly and I do like him, he's cool. But the cheeks one was a sleaze too far.

 

[ChrisFilter]

Not sleazey, that one. Just mad.

Oh. My. God. That has to be the saddest thing I've ever read. He HAS to live with his parents.

Actually, based on that, he probably posts here

 

[Guineveretoo]

I haven't read this whole thread, but I do think people should stop sniggering about this, and the OP should simply send a clear, firm but polite email NOW to this person, indicating that they are not happy with the tone of them, and requesting that he stops sending them.

Not doing so immediately is cruel on many levels, and could lead him to think that you welcome such approaches which a) makes it difficult for you to complain about them later and b) damages your chance of salvaging a friendship from this, which I assume you want to do.

I also think you should not post any more of his emails on here!