Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
55% iirc
Huge problem with my sons career advice
- Thread starter Cloud
- Start date
Cloud
Omar Commin!
I have all those revision books and as he struggles in geography, I decided to not only take him all over google explaining lots of examples of erosion (the subject) but also to go around showing him examples. I would talk about it and remind him at every meal but still... nothing. I tried like hell to make it intresting, we even went to the east coast to see examples. I talked about it for hours. His mind was still on warcraft and farmville.
Jackobi
swallows anything
Can you sprint 100 metres? Yes. You are in.
subversplat
writer of wrongs
Just let him try to keep that Warcraft subscription going while on the dole!
Jackobi
swallows anything
Excellent starting salary and one of the best pensions in the country, no qualifications needed, only basic common sense and fitness levels, sounds perfect.
subversplat
writer of wrongs
Best give him a copy of Filth by Irvine Welsh for Christmas just so he knows how to make the most of his new position in society.
Corax
Luke 5:16
Doing his homework for him is really fucking unhelpful imo.
That aside, I had no idea what I wanted to be at 15, 20, 25 or even 30. Hopefully I've figured it out now as I'm starting that job in a few weeks.
A bit of time in the working world, standing on his own two feet will doubtless sharpen his aspirations. When you're working long hours for minimum wage one of the first questions you ask yourself is 'there must be something better than this?'
A Levels, when I did them anyway, were the most demanding qualifications of my life. As and Bs at GCSE with no effort. 2:1 degree with no effort. A levels - complete fucking failure. If he's not able to cope with GCSEs then I'd suggest that A levels would be a total waste of time.
So, you're right in looking towards more vocational stuff. Why don't you get a prospectus from your local 6th form college (or whoever runs that stuff) and sitting down with him to have a look. I'm sure he's interested in something, he just may not realise it. Games design or something, who knows.
That aside, I had no idea what I wanted to be at 15, 20, 25 or even 30. Hopefully I've figured it out now as I'm starting that job in a few weeks.
A bit of time in the working world, standing on his own two feet will doubtless sharpen his aspirations. When you're working long hours for minimum wage one of the first questions you ask yourself is 'there must be something better than this?'
A Levels, when I did them anyway, were the most demanding qualifications of my life. As and Bs at GCSE with no effort. 2:1 degree with no effort. A levels - complete fucking failure. If he's not able to cope with GCSEs then I'd suggest that A levels would be a total waste of time.
So, you're right in looking towards more vocational stuff. Why don't you get a prospectus from your local 6th form college (or whoever runs that stuff) and sitting down with him to have a look. I'm sure he's interested in something, he just may not realise it. Games design or something, who knows.
Callie
Pivoting
I think he could easily take a year out and work - shelf stacking or whatever until he has a better idea of what he might like to do. What does he think about that option?
I'm not overly convinced that you are right about him not being capable of doing a-levels, I was predicted shite GCSE results but I pulled my finger out for the exams and got more passes than I thought. Originally I was going to do an NVQ at college but when I went to enrol they suggested that could do A levels, I did, I go passes, went to uni and now work in a job relevant to my degree. Does he want to do A-levels? Maybe you should let him try?
I think it's a big mistake that youre doing his homework - that doesn't teach him anything. Bad move! Let him get into shit for not doing it.
I'm not overly convinced that you are right about him not being capable of doing a-levels, I was predicted shite GCSE results but I pulled my finger out for the exams and got more passes than I thought. Originally I was going to do an NVQ at college but when I went to enrol they suggested that could do A levels, I did, I go passes, went to uni and now work in a job relevant to my degree. Does he want to do A-levels? Maybe you should let him try?
I think it's a big mistake that youre doing his homework - that doesn't teach him anything. Bad move! Let him get into shit for not doing it.
Corax
Luke 5:16
So what? That's no justification at all for the freud. All you're teaching him is that his disinterest/laziness won't have any consequences because someone else will sort it out for him.
girasol
Addicted to handstands!
I think it's unfair to expect someone so young to know what they want to do 
If he's good at maths can't he keep doing that and some other subjects he likes?
Not many people are lucky enough to know what they want at that age. I know I kept changing my mind all the time, so much choice!
If he's good at maths can't he keep doing that and some other subjects he likes?
Not many people are lucky enough to know what they want at that age. I know I kept changing my mind all the time, so much choice!
Jackobi
swallows anything
Agreed, he should do his own homework, with a bit of help and encouragement maybe, but let him do most of it.
Cloud
Omar Commin!
I'm feeling stressed because tbh I still dont know what I want to do apart from go somewhere, do something and get money. I think I am right in there with him on the immaturity side of things. I could blame it on the fact all of my family in generations went to work at the same place untill it just stopped. Now there seems to be this myriad of training with no actual work at the end of it.
heinous seamus
Perfect in an empty room
Why not encourage him to go into plumbing if he likes the sound of that? I wouldn't worry about him never having done anything practical, he is only 15 afterall. I'm sure they would expect him to be a bit wet behind the ears. 
Pickman's model
sunset spires and twilight woods
he could train to be a trainer and when the recession ends he'll be old enough to coin it in.
kalidarkone
Bringing YOU round.....
Surely he only needs 5 C's ?
My son is also 15 and is mostly predicted to get b's and c's- he needs 5 c's minimum to get into 6th form.
I uninstalled and broke his world of warcraft disc when he was 13- he was upset and then thanked me and said he felt relived that he could get 'back to his life'. I'm really glad I did that, he is simply not bright enough to cope with homework and the responsibility of his future and world of war craft!!
I echo others when they say stop doing his homework for him-you are setting him up to fail, he needs to take responsibility. If he decides not to bother fair enough he has made a choice and will have to deal with the consequences, which is all part of growing up-so let him!
I do understand your concern- I feel it my self but know I have to let go. My son has a few incentives to keep him going -some of which are studying what he wants to study and starting again at a new school with the promise of a more exciting social life
My son is also 15 and is mostly predicted to get b's and c's- he needs 5 c's minimum to get into 6th form.
I uninstalled and broke his world of warcraft disc when he was 13- he was upset and then thanked me and said he felt relived that he could get 'back to his life'. I'm really glad I did that, he is simply not bright enough to cope with homework and the responsibility of his future and world of war craft!!
I echo others when they say stop doing his homework for him-you are setting him up to fail, he needs to take responsibility. If he decides not to bother fair enough he has made a choice and will have to deal with the consequences, which is all part of growing up-so let him!
I do understand your concern- I feel it my self but know I have to let go. My son has a few incentives to keep him going -some of which are studying what he wants to study and starting again at a new school with the promise of a more exciting social life
Cloud
Omar Commin!
I think the internet has fucked his head up, especially world of warcraft but i cancelled for 6 months and he started playing farmville. He blames not being to do his homework on having to use open office and apparently he has to have ms works. I dunno why the fuck there is so much emphasis on homework being done on a computer and IT. I guess we are lucky we have it, apparently you can't get on the schools facility because of the queue.
I dunno why he just cant google all his homework like I do, it's so easy now but to be fair on him the teachers are absolutely shit. The absolute babbled crap they put on assignments sometimes literally makes no sense. I sometimes have to look up the actual question as I can't work out wtf his teacher is on about.
I dunno why he just cant google all his homework like I do, it's so easy now but to be fair on him the teachers are absolutely shit. The absolute babbled crap they put on assignments sometimes literally makes no sense. I sometimes have to look up the actual question as I can't work out wtf his teacher is on about.
subversplat
writer of wrongs
He's just making excuses. The school uses MS products and he doesn't want to have to figure out two ways of doing the same thing I guess that's IT Bod out the window then, otherwise he'd be going crazy trying to find other ways of doing the same thing.
I guess that's IT Bod out the window then, otherwise he'd be going crazy trying to find other ways of doing the same thing.
Callie
Pivoting
Cloud
Omar Commin!
Is a joke, right?!
I mean research it not buy the degree sites. LoL in the early days of the internet (newsgroups) I know a guy who did that and did no homework just filthed it all.
Sounds like my 15 year old a bit.
Great at making money, no need for work a paper round or anything, just buying and selling his mates things. No idea what he wants to do, I've even offered to buy some ladders and rent them to him until they're paid off to start doing the neighbours windows. I've suggested trades, fucking hell everything, everywhere we go I point out the kinds of careers there are.
Last week we went looking at colleges where he might do A levels. I feel like you, the workload will surprise him but I'm prepared to let him have the opportunity I was denied (I felt quite jealous looking round the places tbh). I think he fancies the idea of going to uni and going out every night and I see it as the thing that'll make him leave home. He won't get EMA at college but I'm happy to pay him the same amount. If you're on low wages your lad would get it, £30 a week if the household income is less than £30k.
Worth mentioning A levels aren't the only way into Uni and he can do something else after the first year, or sooner if things don't work out.
I work with 16-21 year olds and see the kind of shit you end up on if you get lumped in the 'needs confidence building' category. It's like going from school to The League of Gentlemen jobclub. If you really think he confidence boosting though, how about Prince's Trust? They do 13 week courses with a residential. I've known some kids do really well on them.
I think the important thing is to let him make the choice and support him in that, even if something you feel won't work, just be there to pick up the pieces.
Oh and he won't get dole until he's 18, unless he's estranged.
And please stop doing his homework.
Great at making money, no need for work a paper round or anything, just buying and selling his mates things. No idea what he wants to do, I've even offered to buy some ladders and rent them to him until they're paid off to start doing the neighbours windows. I've suggested trades, fucking hell everything, everywhere we go I point out the kinds of careers there are.
Last week we went looking at colleges where he might do A levels. I feel like you, the workload will surprise him but I'm prepared to let him have the opportunity I was denied (I felt quite jealous looking round the places tbh). I think he fancies the idea of going to uni and going out every night and I see it as the thing that'll make him leave home. He won't get EMA at college but I'm happy to pay him the same amount. If you're on low wages your lad would get it, £30 a week if the household income is less than £30k.
Worth mentioning A levels aren't the only way into Uni and he can do something else after the first year, or sooner if things don't work out.
I work with 16-21 year olds and see the kind of shit you end up on if you get lumped in the 'needs confidence building' category. It's like going from school to The League of Gentlemen jobclub. If you really think he confidence boosting though, how about Prince's Trust? They do 13 week courses with a residential. I've known some kids do really well on them.
I think the important thing is to let him make the choice and support him in that, even if something you feel won't work, just be there to pick up the pieces.
Oh and he won't get dole until he's 18, unless he's estranged.
And please stop doing his homework.
Corax
Luke 5:16
I think that's a poor excuse tbh. There are always distractions/temptations/whatever, and there always have been. Before the internet it may have been comics, films, role-playing games and so on. What's your approach to individual responsibility and so on been like? I hope the fact that you do his homework isn't symptomatic of a bigger problem.
I'm not having a go. I just don't think blaming WoW is a good way of thinking, and combined with the homework thing it jumps out as a cause for concern.
You'll probably hate me for this, but fuck it, I'm not entering any popularity contests. Have you seriously, objectively and honestly appraised the way you've been treating him this 15 years? Only you know the full details, but maybe it's time for a change? What does he need, and what does he need to learn (personally, not academically)? How can you achieve that?
His attitudes are influenced (in part) by your behaviour. Is there anything about this that you can change to help him better in the long term?
I know people in their forties who are still like that, there are general courses for 16 year olds in colleges where you try bits of many things, maybe something like that will help.
Cloud
Omar Commin!
I dont think its me
DownwardDog
Well-Known Member
This is what's fucking him up. Doing nothing but pwning The Horde in WoW has become very easy and comfortable for him so why should he think about what he should do with his life?
Corax
Luke 5:16
Okay. I hope you can see my reasoning though, and have considered it.
I'm not blaming you at all. I'm just suggesting that a different tack might bear more fruit.
But if you've honestly and objectively thought about it, and decided it really isn't a factor, then fair enough.
All intended constructively.
likesfish
You can't park here sir
Cloo
Banana for scale
Is he good with people? Or even like 'em much?
I'm always recommending occupational therapy as a career choice - OTs are always in demand, so there's a lot of work about, you don't have to be academic to study and do it and it's a really interesting job. Needs good people skills and a caring personality above all.
