How to make your bike look shit (to deter thieves)

[Gnoxulf]

I concur this is excellent advice.

A mate of mine used to get his BMXes nicked or have attempts at breaking the locks all the time.

His latest one he's spray-painted bright neon pink. It's been completely left alone for months.

 

[Schnarf]

The only thing that's lame in this thread is narrow minded a-holes that just p#ss over people trying to make a contribution and don't give a sh#t about anyone else. You're a little young to own an expensive bike, you need a time out on the naughty step until you're old enough to ride the big boy bikes.

 

[Schnarf]

ISmokeHerbs: "would you pick my bike out from a load of other bikes?
My bike is all black, nothing shiny on it.
It only has one gear.
It's fixed wheel (although a 3-speed hub would be more useful for the average person).
It's only got one brake.
It's got scratches and chips all over it from where I've locked it up.
The seat is as high as some people's nipples.
It has Datatag stickers clearly displayed all over it.
There's no grip tape on the handlebars.
The seat is ripped from natural wear and tear.
There's dirt all over it as I'm too lazy to clean it.
See, it's not particularly attractive to thieves compared to say, a front or full suspension mountain bike, a hybrid or a shiny colourful racer...
And I didn't need to do any stupid destructive techniques to make it less attractive than the majority of bicycles out there... "


Un-f#cking-believable. You kick up a royal stink about uglification and your pride&joy; how you want it to look pretty, tie a pink bow around it, kiss it goodnight, read it a freakin' bedtime story- like a father doting over his precious little princess. You talk about taking a dump in your house and rape, yet your bike looks like a turd a fly wouldn't puke on. Play with yourself much? There's a whole big world out there beyond that thing called ego. You keep stroking it like that you're going to go blind.

 

[gentlegreen]

Er, hello ....

And goodbye..

A shame this thread's too good for a bin race ...

 

[jusali]

The only thing that's lame in this thread is narrow minded a-holes that just p#ss over people trying to make a contribution and don't give a sh#t about anyone else. You're a little young to own an expensive bike, you need a time out on the naughty step until you're old enough to ride the big boy bikes.

ISmokeHerbs: "would you pick my bike out from a load of other bikes?
My bike is all black, nothing shiny on it.
It only has one gear.
It's fixed wheel (although a 3-speed hub would be more useful for the average person).
It's only got one brake.
It's got scratches and chips all over it from where I've locked it up.
The seat is as high as some people's nipples.
It has Datatag stickers clearly displayed all over it.
There's no grip tape on the handlebars.
The seat is ripped from natural wear and tear.
There's dirt all over it as I'm too lazy to clean it.
See, it's not particularly attractive to thieves compared to say, a front or full suspension mountain bike, a hybrid or a shiny colourful racer...
And I didn't need to do any stupid destructive techniques to make it less attractive than the majority of bicycles out there... "


Un-f#cking-believable. You kick up a royal stink about uglification and your pride&joy; how you want it to look pretty, tie a pink bow around it, kiss it goodnight, read it a freakin' bedtime story- like a father doting over his precious little princess. You talk about taking a dump in your house and rape, yet your bike looks like a turd a fly wouldn't puke on. Play with yourself much? There's a whole big world out there beyond that thing called ego. You keep stroking it like that you're going to go blind.

Ah look at their 1st 2 posts
Ever heard the concept of.............. good first impressions?

 

[Herbsman.]

ISmokeHerbs: "would you pick my bike out from a load of other bikes?
My bike is all black, nothing shiny on it.
It only has one gear.
It's fixed wheel (although a 3-speed hub would be more useful for the average person).
It's only got one brake.
It's got scratches and chips all over it from where I've locked it up.
The seat is as high as some people's nipples.
It has Datatag stickers clearly displayed all over it.
There's no grip tape on the handlebars.
The seat is ripped from natural wear and tear.
There's dirt all over it as I'm too lazy to clean it.
See, it's not particularly attractive to thieves compared to say, a front or full suspension mountain bike, a hybrid or a shiny colourful racer...
And I didn't need to do any stupid destructive techniques to make it less attractive than the majority of bicycles out there... "


Un-f#cking-believable. You kick up a royal stink about uglification and your pride&joy; how you want it to look pretty, tie a pink bow around it, kiss it goodnight, read it a freakin' bedtime story- like a father doting over his precious little princess. You talk about taking a dump in your house and rape, yet your bike looks like a turd a fly wouldn't puke on. Play with yourself much? There's a whole big world out there beyond that thing called ego. You keep stroking it like that you're going to go blind.

lol

get a life

 

[Crispy]

yeah, but no.

 

[gavman]

Did I say that? No. So stop putting words into my mouth.

I clearly meant that the idea of making your bike look 'shit' is a lame idea.

Why waste money buying a bike that looks decent, then ruining it's appearance? Why not just buy a second hand bike that's unattractive in the first place?

I bet people who 'uglify' their bikes ride around with smug grins on their faces, thinking "Ha, up yours thieves, the joke's on you, I win"

this is a great idea for people who value performance over looks. it is a only a bad idea for show offs.
i've been doing the same with my cars for many years. i appreciate performance, but i don't need people to be coveting what i have in order to be happy
do you?

 

[Schnarf]

It's kinda odd to think we're so superficial it really matters what others think when we know it's a good bike, even when it could save it from being stolen, but then even the look alone contributes to the price you pay. It would be interesting to see if only gawd-ugly bikes had good performance, if people still bought bikes with crappy performance that looked amazing. Would you really care if a new model ferrari had the power of a skoda if you could own one for the same price as a skoda with a ferrari's power? My bike's fairly cheap relative to top models, it's a hybrid at £280 down from £350, but it still looks pretty good because it's a few days old. I wouldn't want to cover it in rust completely, but the concept makes sense logically especially as the reason it's so new is it's replacing one that was stolen about a week ago. I'm loathed to make it disgustingly ugly, but a halfway measure wouldn't go amiss.

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

For driving around London? LOL. And with all that pricey insurance, road tax, MOT, repairs, petrol and the cost of the car, you could get yourself a small fleet of decent pushbikes instead. And stay fitter and get around town much quicker too.

Your suggestion is 100% fail sir.

what's this mean? (as in we stopped using utf8 then on this board?)

and it's only quicker til you get knocked off by some arse not driving properly... then it's considerably larger inconvenience, what with hospitals etc...

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

It's kinda odd to think we're so superficial it really matters what others think when we know it's a good bike, even when it could save it from being stolen, but then even the look alone contributes to the price you pay. It would be interesting to see if only gawd-ugly bikes had good performance, if people still bought bikes with crappy performance that looked amazing. Would you really care if a new model ferrari had the power of a skoda if you could own one for the same price as a skoda with a ferrari's power? My bike's fairly cheap relative to top models, it's a hybrid at £280 down from £350, but it still looks pretty good because it's a few days old. I wouldn't want to cover it in rust completely, but the concept makes sense logically especially as the reason it's so new is it's replacing one that was stolen about a week ago. I'm loathed to make it disgustingly ugly, but a halfway measure wouldn't go amiss.

sorry but this concept is bollocks btw...

you don't buy a decent Telly and then make it look shitty to prevent theft and you don't buy a decent car and make it look shitty to prevent theft.

in fact the whole idea is kinda admitting defeat and saying I'm going to have my things nicked so why bother having anything nice.

Rather you take sensible precautions, to buy the best anti theft devices you can afford and you know there's always a chance that this will fail and some bugger with walk off with your shit.

if you live in a perpetual state of fear of loss of your possessions then they are controlling you, which isn't really what they are there for is it?

sure it's a mega pain when your plans are interrupted by inconvenience or the unexpected but this still doesn't mean you should reduce the quality of the life you have to minimise that, that's surely allowing the status quo to continue.

And no that doesn't mean you can ponce around, devil may care and abandon all sensible precautions either however this isn't a sensible precaution it's simply lowest common denominator shit...

that and I think that actually if the editor was a bit more honest about this he'd admit he's secretly got a hankering to be a courier in Rez, Proj on...

 

[Schnarf]

That's why I said a halfway measure. You don't even need to make it ugly to make it less attractive, simply making pretty bits less conspicuous is more reasonable.

I don't fully agree with this "they're winning sentiment", once you've been a victim of theft it's always on your mind no matter what measure you take. You have to get pretty much the most expensive D-locks and chains, none of that 10% of your bike's worth nonsense, because cheaper versions just don't work. These weigh a tonne. Lugging 2-3 heavy D locks and a tough cable/chain is not exactly screaming that you haven't been affected by thieving toe-rags. Of course, it's going to take some research and imagination to come up with ways of making pretty bits less conspicuous without going overboard and making it ugly, but when you've got it sorted you'll finally have peace of mind at the very least knowing you've done everything reasonably to protect it. That's the plan anyway.