How to make your bike look shit (to deter thieves)

[lenny101]

My bike frame is covered with old inner tubes and masking tape. It makes the bike look shit and protets the frame. Double winner.

 

[ymu]

Unfortunately not if you a) need to take a fair bit of stuff with you, and b) need to tramp up and down stairs with it all day. My backpack did take a bit of getting used to, but as long as the straps are tight, I've got used to the drag. I do worry a bit about my back on days where I do lots of cycling though.

Try a front basket - it makes the ride a LOT easier compared to a rear basket (see below) and it's easy to wedge a rucksack in if you get the right-sized one with plenty of depth. Loose straps tie to the handlebars if needed to keep it stable.

I don't do a weekly supermarket shop any more, but I used to find it easier coming back with a full (very large, very heavy, travelling for several weeks-type) rucksack than going to it with a few empties for recycling. I think it's down to better weight distribution (same principle as Y-frames, IIRC).

 

[gentlegreen]

I have to confess to not having a front basket because it's a bit "girly".

I never carry more than can be crammed into my day pack - which is bungeed into the basket, but if I didn't live near the shops, I might well consider a detachable front basket - though my first thought is soft panniers ....

 

[ymu]

I have to confess to not having a front basket because it's a bit "girly".

Oddly enough, that was my objection (as a girly), until I found how how ridiculously easy it made the ride. It makes no sense to put all that extra weight on the wheel you're trying to pedal, when the bike frame already puts most of your weight on that wheel anyway (unless you like leaning forwards at an extreme angle, which I don't and can't due to a back injury). It even makes cornering smoother (compared to rear luggage, not an unladen bike obv).

 

[gentlegreen]

Yep, my bike gets a bit wobbly if I put something bulky / heavy in the basket.

 

[muckypup]

I get very worried about losing my bianchi racer. I have a new york kryptonie D lock which I'm told needs an angle grinder. I've also got locking skewers on my wheels and seat post. I might get a second mini D lock as well.

I love the look of my bike and just cannot bring meself to make it look shite Vanity

 

[ymu]

I get very worried about losing my bianchi racer. I have a new york kryptonie D lock which I'm told needs an angle grinder. I've also got locking skewers on my wheels and seat post. I might get a second mini D lock as well.

I love the look of my bike and just cannot bring meself to make it look shite Vanity

Vanity can be tackled very easily by looking at it in a different way. As a somewhat chubby and not-so-young girly, I used to love sailing past the boys in lycra, going uphill on my shitty-looking bike with a front basket. Car drivers tended to find it quite amusing also.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

Good luck selling it on when you want something different. I learnt the hard way that gaffer tape gum and stickers are a bugger to remove from matt paintjobs without completely ruining it.

WD40 works a treat for dissolving tape residue. Shouldn't mess up the paint job, I'd have thought, but obviously test it somewhere out of sight first.

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Ymu and gentlegreen - well I guess a front basket would also make it less likely that someone would steal my bike!

On my last placement I did some work in schools. Crispy assured me my bike would be somewhat theft proof against opportunistic school kids cos it had mud guards and therefore was decidedly uncool.

 

[Orang Utan]

Weigh it and you'll see

I reckon it's an illusion of the mind, something to do with size and density. I know my bike is 9 kilos yet it feels much lighter than a 9 kilo box of paper.

well, you can't lift a 9 kilo box of paper with your little finger!

 

[friedaweed]

Can i just say "Bike insurance"

I'm with Herbs on this. When i wheeled my new MBK out of the shop and rode it home i thought "Shit this looks as good a it rides". I clean it almost as much as i fall off it and I'd rather someone stole it than put a sticker on it

I can see the point though even taking it to such an extreme that it looked so tacky that it becomes ultra desirable. At this point a teef might think "how the fuck could i sell that on unnoticed". It does smell of modding your pc/nova1.1 with neons and skinning your ipod leopard print

I have a shit looking old giant which i'll lock up in town but it usually escapes the attention of wronguns cos it has one of these attached to it.

You can carry all the locks you like in one of these.

 

[geoff64]

not had my bike very long. It looks old and fucked, cos it's made from recycled other bikes, but rides lovely.

today i bought a bell and stuck on some reflective tape.

and the day before i got a couple of those keyring lights you can keep in your pocket.

that's enough accessorizing ... or d'you think someone would still want to nick it?

 

[ben foggle2]

I stuck Philip Scholfield stickers over my bike years ago-for that reason i still own my bike 10 years on.

 

[Geri]

Ymu and gentlegreen - well I guess a front basket would also make it less likely that someone would steal my bike!

Wouldn't they just steal it and take it off?

 

[gentlegreen]

Ymu and gentlegreen - well I guess a front basket would also make it less likely that someone would steal my bike!

If I was doing what you were doing, I wouldn't hesitate .. except maybe if you have to squeeze your bike into a communal hallway.... doubtless couriers would avoid that option because of the way they need to squeeze through gaps, but I bet it's compuslory for postpersons due to health and safety.

 

[snowy_again]

That still looks to me like a sweet ride.

I could barely reach the pedals when I tried riding that. Its made for a giraffe.

 

[pinkmonkey]

I can't believe posters on this thread who think it's a daft idea! I've still got my £800 bike thanks to spray paint,tape and barbie stickers. I really don't give a flying fuck what it looks like, or feel the need for it to be admired. It was bought for it's funcionality. Alot of boaters I know do the same thing with their boats - shithole outside, palace inside. That way you don't get your windows smashed or broken into.

 

[pk]

*yawn* I'm off to bed, my opinion hasn't changed, and my bike is still beautiful. And no-one's attempted to steal it, probably because no-one wants to contend with a kryptonite new york shackle.i.e. a proper deterrent. Which also, erm, actually stops people from taking the bike. Because, it's, like, a lock.

Night night!

Bet I could crack it in 4 seconds with a decent club hammer and a can of freezing spray...

 

[fractionMan]

spokie dokies would probably do the trick.

 

[ben foggle2]

spokie dokies would probably do the trick.

I am literally just about to attach some nice pink spokies to my "Tornado grand(canyon)".

 

[ymu]

Wouldn't they just steal it and take it off?

Yeah - but front baskets are so universally associated with crap bikes that it might stop someone looking twice. The main benefit is the weight distro and an easier ride (IMO).

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

I could barely reach the pedals when I tried riding that. Its made for a giraffe.

Famed for their long necks.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Bet I could crack it in 4 seconds with a decent club hammer and a can of freezing spray...

Indeed. We did a little test for a TV show we made about bike theft here. We got though all the kryptonite shit in no time. We even tied up bike outside scotland yard and robbed them with massive red bolt cutters in full view of everyone.

 

[Structaural]

Famed for their long necks.

and short legs

 

[Agent Sparrow]

Wouldn't they just steal it and take it off?

Yeah - but front baskets are so universally associated with crap bikes that it might stop someone looking twice.

Yup, I'd be banking on it not being as immediately of interest, particularly if it's chained up with other bikes.

However, I'm a lazy sod who can't even be bothered to pump my tires regularly enough, so it probably aint going to happen anyway!

 

[snowy_again]

and short legs

Ok! Some sort of long limbed animal then, an orang utan?

 

[Structaural]

Ok! Some sort of long limbed animal then, an orang utan?

sorry, I was being sarky - the giraffe has pretty long legs.

But an ostrich would be your best bet orang-utans have quite short legs and massive arms.

 

[Herbsman.]

Bet I could crack it in 4 seconds with a decent club hammer and a can of freezing spray...

Good for you.

But would you pick my bike out from a load of other bikes?

My bike is all black, nothing shiny on it.

It only has one gear.

It's fixed wheel (although a 3-speed hub would be more useful for the average person).

It's only got one brake.

It's got scratches and chips all over it from where I've locked it up.

The seat is as high as some people's nipples.

It has Datatag stickers clearly displayed all over it.

There's no grip tape on the handlebars.

The seat is ripped from natural wear and tear.

There's dirt all over it as I'm too lazy to clean it.

See, it's not particularly attractive to thieves compared to say, a front or full suspension mountain bike, a hybrid or a shiny colourful racer...

And I didn't need to do any stupid destructive techniques to make it less attractive than the majority of bicycles out there...

 

[internetstalker]

i've got a chunky but cheap £25.00 lock. I don't think i could carry anything heavier around in my back-pack without putting it in the boot of a car.

How much does a £100 lock weigh ?

And how do you carry around a large, heavy fuck-off lock while perched on top of a bike?

genuine Q ....

MOST LOCKS COME WITH A BRACKET

 

[snowy_again]

But an ostrich would be your best bet orang-utans have quite short legs and massive arms.

true, but it would have to ride no handed all the time, what with the little wings and that.