How much cash to give as wedding gift?

[ChrisFilter]

i hate this. the whole point of giving gifts, for christmas birthdays and every other special event is about the thought behind the gift. call me old fashioned but i really believe its the thought that counts.
ive had stupid gifts that i would never use or buy or look at twice and and ive also had humble thoughtful gifts that have really touched me. i think its plain rude and even vulgar when people (especially children or their parents -what kind of lesson is that for the children.) ask for money instead of a personally chosen and thoughtful gift

Load of bollocks.. why let people waste their money on things that aren't needed? We aren't furnishing a house, and I don't think a wedding list is any less crass - "this a list of what we want".

 

[ShiftyBagLady]

well thats exactly why i dont like wedding lists either, or birthday lists or indeed christams lists.
as somebody else said it used to be that the people were helping the couple to set up home, and broadly speaking thats not the case anymore so im veering towards the view that it's superflous and it's presumptious to expect wedding gifts.

 

[zoooo]

We've recieved an invitation to other half's cousin's wedding and it states in poem form to not give a gift but cash instead!
Part of me thinks it is a rather rude thing to request but heard it's quite common-I'm not going to do it when I get married though!
So how much is considered a reasonable amount? Never met cousin before and rather broke but don't want to appear stingy

My best friend did that.
I thought they'd written the poem themselves, but now I bet it's the same bloody one! Cheek.

 

[northernhord]

A fiver, a teenth of Hash and a bottle of cheap red wine

£35-50 Range?

 

[moose]

Turning the gesture into a monetary one seems sensible, but there is something more than a little crass about a couple who have everything, spending oodles of cash on a party, at which guests will give them cash back.

I wonder how taking your own butties but not bothering with a wedding present would go down? Amounts to the same thing

 

[lemontop]

My best friend did that.
I thought they'd written the poem themselves, but now I bet it's the same bloody one! Cheek.

The one I got recently didn't even bother with a poem, it just said we would like cash!

 

[cyberfairy]

I wonder how taking your own butties but not bothering with a wedding present would go down? Amounts to the same thing

I would be more than happy with that-Gonna be miffed anyway with my only veggie option of veggie lasagne whilst everyone else is eating their pan fried seared jus filled marinaded onion marmalade basted bits of flesh Rather go to Greggs or stay at home-never even met them and they are all posh sounding

 

[cyberfairy]

My best friend did that.
I thought they'd written the poem themselves, but now I bet it's the same bloody one! Cheek.

Did 'nest' rhyme with 'cheque'?

 

[Melinda]

Friends of mine opened up an account at a travel agency and we all chipped in some cash. They raised a good few thousand for the honeymoon and trips.

 

[zoooo]

Nope. T'was:

We've lived together for a while now,
and we've got all that we need,
So we do not want a toaster,
a kettle or cutlery,
We do not wish to be rude,
and we hope that you understand,
That we would like to ask for money,
towards the honeymoon we've planned.

On second thoughts, it was quite sweet actually.

 

[cyberfairy]

Nope. T'was:

We've lived together for a while now,
and we've got all that we need,
So we do not want a toaster,
a kettle or cutlery,
We do not wish to be rude,
and we hope that you understand,
That we would like to ask for money,
towards the honeymoon we've planned.

On second thoughts, it was quite sweet actually.

Now thats a lot more polite than 'we have scrimped and saved to feather our nest
So cheques would be best'

 

[May Kasahara]

Please tell me it doesn't really say that

 

[cyberfairy]

Please tell me it doesn't really say that

It does

 

[May Kasahara]

Jesus Give them a rubber dog turd and a big, shiny grin - they don't deserve your money.

 

[moomoo]

Now thats a lot more polite than 'we have scrimped and saved to feather our nest
So cheques would be best'

That's terrible!

I was going to suggest you only gave what you could comfortably afford but I'm with May now.

A rubber dog turd sounds like the perfect gift.

 

[butterfly child]

I can't see what all the fuss is about.

If you don't mind giving them money, give them money.

If you do mind, don't give them money.

Blimey.

 

[cyberfairy]

I can't see what all the fuss is about.

If you don't mind giving them money, give them money.

If you do mind, don't give them money.

Blimey.

The thread was called 'How Much To Give?' not "Shall I Give?'
I was asking for opinions on best amount to give as stated do not want to offend and certainly intended to donate and at same time entering into discourse about how I personally would not feel comfortable doing such a thing myself. Not really fuss, more just chatting on a BB.

 

[ChrisFilter]

We've actually been asked by loads of people why we didn't just put acc number and sort code on our invites, and why seemed so shy about it.

Maybe it's an age thing.. I'm young to be getting married.

 

[Tank Girl]

A fiver, a teenth of Hash and a bottle of cheap red wine

£35-50 Range?

we got given an oz of weed as a wedding present - we had a few smokes off it, gave some to relatives that didn't have any. and then promptly lost the rest of it

 

[Greebo]

Even if I can't get to the wedding, I give what I can afford, and no more. At the moment, that's £10-15 plus the same from Him Indoors.

Having seen any shop gift lists (where the stuff already bought was torn off or crossed out), one shop gift lists, and money/voucher requests, the one I like least is the list held at one shop only.

IMHO most of the shop lists don't start with cheap enough items - one from M&S (in the early 90s) included a bread board for £20, a cup & saucer for £25 and they wanted 8 etc. At that time, the dole was approx £45 a week.

For people on low incomes this can be more difficult (or embarrassing) than being able to send a voucher for £5 upwards and knowing that (added in with the rest) it will get what the couple really want or need.

My husband and I paid for the entire wedding, didn't have a reception (for health reasons), and although we asked for money or vouchers towards doing up the flat (or plain tiles or grout), we also said that whatever people chose to give would be gratefully received.

We did this taking into account that some relatives were v hard up while others had already told me that when I got married, they'd got some money earmarked for it.

(edited because I can't spell when not fullly awake)

 

[maldwyn]

If I were to marry my partner I’d keep it to the bare minimum of a couple of witnesses. The idea I should gather a bunch of people together to ‘celebrate’ my relationship strikes me as odd in the extreme, let alone asking them for money/gifts.

Why not buy your friends a couple of scratch-cards or a lotto ticket.

 

[Rohen]

£101 or 121

or if youre feeling flush 221

 

[ChrisFilter]

We got quite a haul in the end. Purchasing some plush wardrobes, a freezer, some other kitchen stuff, some paint, paying off the immediate unmanagable debt the wedding caused and going on a two week holiday next year.

Old-fashioned sorts might find it a little crass, but surely that's putting people's money to better use than having multiple toasters and paper-weights?

 

[baldrick]

paying off the immediate unmanagable debt the wedding caused

this is what i object to about weddings. i find it sad that you and your wife felt you had to put yourself into debt to get married.

however, i am sure you had a brilliant day and i wish you both all the best

 

[ChrisFilter]

this is what i object to about weddings. i find it sad that you and your wife felt you had to put yourself into debt to get married.

however, i am sure you had a brilliant day and i wish you both all the best

We didn't feel we had to, we wanted to. Didn't have to spend as much as we did. Every penny worth it though, was an incredible day. Only wedding day I'm planning on having, so why not push the boat out a bit? Bit of a joyless existence if there's never a bit of ceremony, or indeed excess!

 

[cyberfairy]

We got quite a haul in the end. Purchasing some plush wardrobes, a freezer, some other kitchen stuff, some paint, paying off the immediate unmanagable debt the wedding caused and going on a two week holiday next year.

Old-fashioned sorts might find it a little crass, but surely that's putting people's money to better use than having multiple toasters and paper-weights?

I'm glad you had a lovely wedding And if people can afford it, then why not give you a fab pressie? Guess a little sensitive as for the first time in my adult life, utterly broke and jobless since moving up north and being unable to find work and all my mates are having wedings soon! I was hoping to buy them weird unusual yet cheap pressies and sure i still can without them hating me as they are aware of my circumstances but it was the blanket invite from relative of my partner which seemed to in my head demand cash, that terrrified me. If I give too much, then I am buggered and part of me is aware that I am on the dole and they are loaded but don't want to seem stingy but give too little, then feel mean especially knowing weddings and my meal costs a fortune!
I saw a gorgeous could be pressie at the Lowry Museum on Sunday for twenty quid, really unique and I was just a bit sad that I could not buy it for a wedding pressie as told not to but would save me feeling stingy for only giving a twenty quid note and hopefully they would have recieved something really nice and individual to remember me by
But with close family and mates, more than happy to ask for cash-just think other peoples situations need to be considered as well

 

[LDR]

We didn't request cash (had a gift list, but I didn't flag it to mates as I know they're mostly pretty skint), but of people who did choose to give it, peers gave us £20-50 and in some cases we knew that was very generous.

Speaking of your wedding gift. I just received the invoice for it with a note explaining that the gift itself was sent separately.

It still hasn't arrived.

 

[LDR]

We got very few wedding gifts for our wedding but considering most of the guests had to fork out a a couple of thousand on flights to get to it, I thought fair enough.

 

[moonsi til]

A few friends have had wedding list requests for cash or vouchers which I am cool with but mostly I have found my own gift . I bought one couple a heart shaped glass paperweight when they had requested Argos vouchers...paperweight was £10 and I would have prob given £20 vouchers so I saved . Next friend was looking for cash for fab honeymoon I happened to prefer giving a beautiful print from a local guy and had it framed which cost almost £80. I would have prob given friends about £30 if it was cash.

The gifts were my choice and well received...I have spoken with friends who have been anxious to request cash and have not known how to go about it. I think the suggestions of a wedding account are good idea...saves peeps from having to write a cheque. I am off to a wedding next month and the request is money toward photos. It will be my pleasure to give what I can afford. My friends will be putting on a lovely and posh looking day by lookimg at the venue...it seems the least I can do.

 

[twisted_angel]

Alot tend to ask for money or gift vouchers..most people who get married nowadays seem to have set up home and have everything already...my friends are getting married soon and have asked for donations towards their honeymoon...some think its cheeky but if its what they want i dont see a problem.