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How good a host are you?

Pip said:
I don't mean to sound patronising :o but I suspect this is a generational thing. My flat's my sanctuary too, but unless I'm in a proper shit mood (in which case my intercom gets turned off), it can only be improved with the addition of chums, no matter what state of undress or intoxication I'm in.

in fact, the drunker and more naked the better!
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:confused:

So, which generation is it that doesn't mind people popping in?

Can't a home be a sanctuary, even if people come round unannounced?
 
nah, I dont like people just 'dropping in'. Once a mate buzzed on the intercom to come up to the apartment and I couldnt be arsed to entertain so I told him to wait in the bar across the street... we were meeting there in an hour or so anyway!

Plus, at the end of the day, I was doing him a favour: I live up 6 flights, no lift. :cool:
 
Pip said:
I don't mean to sound patronising :o but I suspect this is a generational thing. My flat's my sanctuary too, but unless I'm in a proper shit mood (in which case my intercom gets turned off), it can only be improved with the addition of chums, no matter what state of undress or intoxication I'm in.

in fact, the drunker and more naked the better!
Click to expand...

At the risk of sounding mushy/a wrong 'un, Alex B is always here and he's all the company I ever need. Not that I don't love seeing my friends, but it's rare that I'll crave any company other than his. If you want to see me, we can go down the pub.
 
Guineveretoo said:
Can't a home be a sanctuary, even if people come round unannounced?
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That's precisely my point.

Edit: I should make myself clearer - maybe whether you like people coming round unannounced isn't so generational, but friends of mine who tend to do that are mostly under 25.
 
Herbsman. said:
- Yes, I've had a few, but I would still have said the same

- I never said you were trying to enter a competition, I just didn;t want it to seem like I was trying to score points when I said my friends live further away than yours do

- Like I say, I don't want to argue with you because it's pointless, each to their own. I just find it sad that some people are too ashamed of themselves to have their friends come round unannounced and that they have something to hide from them.
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I assure you, I'm really not ashamed of myself :D

Guineveretoo said:
Can't a home be a sanctuary, even if people come round unannounced?
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Perhaps I just value my privacy a bit more than others. If I felt that anyone could pop round at any moment, I wouldn't feel that it was a sanctuary. I like knowing that I'm going to be undisturbed for the next few hours. Like I said, I wouldn't turn anyone away, I just appreciate a bit of notice so I can take the pants off my head and return the crack-filled dildos to their appropriate cupboards.
 
I think I'm a good host, I never have a lot of food or munchies in the house, but they always get offered a drink.

My husband says a good host makes ones guests feel at ease. We went to a jewellery party at an acquaintance's house and a smidgen of hair dye ended up on her leather sofa.

I was mortified, but her actions didn't help. Instead of waving it away, as I would, she made a huge fuss about it, and got out a variety of cleaning fluids and proceeded to rub away at it.

I ended up going home in tears.

I know he's my husband and therefore unflinchingly loyal, but my husband said that's why people buy leather sofas - because they are easy to keep clean. Furthermore, he went on to say his first wife (who was an excellent host) would not have dreamt of embarrassing a guest in her home like that.

I don't actively encourage a situation where I have to be hostess, but if someone knocked something over, or spilt wine on the sofa etc, I wouldn't be too fussed. Things do not stay clean forever, and people are far more important than possessions.
 
missfran said:
At the risk of sounding mushy/a wrong 'un, Alex B is always here and he's all the company I ever need. Not that I don't love seeing my friends, but it's rare that I'll crave any company other than his. If you want to see me, we can go down the pub.
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Awwwww!

Fair enough - I'd probably lock myself in if I had a dishy fella at home but I haven't so I'll take all the company I can get! :D

Pip said:
That's precisely my point.

Edit: I should make myself clearer - maybe whether you like people coming round unannounced isn't so generational, but friends of mine who tend to do that are mostly under 25.
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I'm a wee bit older than 25 Pip....... :hmm:
 
When I was at uni we lived in a huge house and people used to pop round all the time, we never used to lock the door, but there was normally someone in. Sometimes they didn't leave for days.

I really miss that now as I live in the middle of no where and any mates coming to stay has to be planned loads in advance.

Hurray for open houses!
 
Hardly anyone i know has ever visited me where i live now (in fact 2 have)......


i live over the other side of town and i spose they are just too lazy........


:(


used to have a house full a lot of the time before but have come to the conclusion it was obviously 'cupboard love' !

:rolleyes:
 
Madusa said:
Because you dont really get such high backed sofas these days ! :D
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Depends how long ago she bought them then!

What got me was that she had two sons AND two dogs. It's hard keeping things pristine with kids AND dogs in the house. Poor little buggers, she must have had them taking their shoes off the second they opened the front door, etc :D

<waits for everyone to say they like their guests to take their shoes off too>
 
butterfly child said:
<waits for everyone to say they like their guests to take their shoes off too>
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If i had any guest bc it wouldn't matter a jot as i don't have carpets !


And unless people have really dirty shoes i don't usually bother with that sorta thing anyhoo !
 
butterfly child said:
<waits for everyone to say they like their guests to take their shoes off too>
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In Canada, that's a given. It's not something you'd 'like' your guests to do, it's expected. :)

I don't know, I consider myself a decent host, but if people just drop by they're unlikely to get much more than a coffee and whatever pastry's on the go, or a beer. Maybe a shared spliff, depending on who and when; but generally, "dropping in" unannounced is discouraged among our social group.

I'd rather people call first, but, better yet, respond to a specific invitation if they intend to stay more than a half-hour or so. In the latter case, if it's for a meal, I'd expect them to bring something-- liquor or dessert, or both. Flowers at the very least. It wouldn't occur to me to go to someone's place for a meal empty-handed and yet it's often the case with people who visit, mostly younger folk.

There are very few people in my life who could blithely put the kettle on in my place or rummage around in my cupboards without me becoming twitchy. My kitchen is my sacred space and anyone likely to be invited into it would already now that.
 
We never had a 'guests helping themselves' culture in my house growing up, but that's cos guests would be utterly befuddled by the kosher milk/meat cutlery and crockery divide.
 
Like to think I was alright, but I'm casual about hosting. There'll be goodly sized bowls of food around, but I'll rarely plan any specific meal unless requested or there are special requirements - chances are I'll end up shopping and buying what looks good on the day.

There was a period when I was either unemployed or working from home, when our house became a bit of a drop in centre. People used to turn up suspiciously around dinner time regularly. It was rarely a problem tbh - it's almost rude not to have an excess of a portion or two - but it can get a little wearing. And although I'd expect to be able to pop round to any of my family unannouced and would almost certainly be fed, I'm not sure the same was true of some of the freeloader friends. Slightly glad we've broke the habit, but I do miss the spontaniety to a certain extent. It's more of a middle ground now - I'm still not a great one for planning, but we'll often cook at short notice for others.
 
I'm with missfran on this, I hate it when people just turn up. If someone is coming round I like to know in advance for lots of reasons. I've never got any milk or biscuits, my house is always a tip and if I'm at home I'm generally in my pjs or tracky bums. Much as most of my friends probably don't give a toss, I do and would rather my house was vaguely tidy and that I'd at least brushed my hair.

My mum has popped in on 2 occasions and I've turned her away. :o

The first time was because my brother was here and they don't speak so it would have been far too awkward. We had a chat on the phone after and I explained that I don't like people just turning up (cue massive row). About 3 months ago I told my mum that I wouldn't be around for a few days as I had an essay to do and would ring her when I had done it (I hate interruptions when I'm trying to work) so she phones me everyday which I ignore then she turns up. I didn't even open the door fully, just told her I was far too busy and I'd ring her later. :o

The only person who does turn up is my best mate and she has a key!!
It does annoy me a little bit but not because it's not lovely to see her but for the reasons above. 10 minutes notice would be fine.

As for the shoe thing-our guests generally take their shoes off because we do. The amount of shoes in the porch is kind of a hint. If they didn't get the hint I probably wouldn't ask them unless they were wearing muddy wellies or something.
 
One of my big handicaps as a host is that I don't drink tea or coffee, so I'm clueless about making multiple cuppas and generally have to have the whole deal re-explained to me every time.
 
tarannau said:
Like to think I was alright, but I'm casual about hosting.
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you're a good host i reckon, you and your good lady :)

i am a terrible host, i rearely remember to offer a drink and will simply direct people to the kitchen and fridge/kettle, will under-cook any food i may offer, and make guests sit on cushions on the floor, all in the hope that they don't ever want to return....but weirdly, some people seem to like it :confused:
 
I'm a bit :confused: about the dropping by on the offchance bit. I'd normally expect a phone call first because it's quite likely I won't be in! And as I sometimes work nights, I really wouldn't appreciate someone popping by whenever they feel like it.

I think I'm a good host, btw. I do it quite a lot, but rarely get the chance to be a guest. :(
 
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