Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
Millwall
How can I get interested in Association Soccerball?
- Thread starter Orang Utan
- Start date
Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
Well quite - that's why I am attracted to the idea!
RubberBuccaneer
Hedd Wyn
Bet on each match you watch 
simple
simple
Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
RubberBuccaneer said:Bet on each match you watch
Yeah, I'd thought of that - might cost me a bit though
Termite Man
zombie flesh eater
and if you win you could have paella every day !CyberRose said:
sleaterkinney
Well-Known Member
Well, different teams and different countries have different ways of playing - different personalities if you like, some teams will be cynical, some artistic, some doomed to failure, some win-at-all-costs. You choose a team based on what you like really.
Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
Well I have been 'training' for the World Cup by trying to get myself interested in other matches, so I watched the UEFA Cup Final.
I managed to watch some of it, but I kept getting distracted by the wood pigeons in the field behind my house. They'd had a tiff and had their backs to each other.
I realised that this attempt to watch a football match wasn't going very well so far, so I renewed my endeavour and focussed on the match. I got absorbed in watching the ref and the linesman running around looking silly. Then somebody scored.
Boro down 1-0 and I still hadn't seen much football. I decided that I would have to get behind Boro and show my support by impotently shouting at the screen. I worked myself up and shouted things like 'score a goal' and 'kick the ball….in the right direction!' I was by now ever so pleased with myself as I now felt like a proper Soccer fan.
The second half came and a man call Macaroni came on. I giggled every time I heard his name, but by now, Boro were two goals down and I needed my dinner.
A couple more goals got scored and it was over, but I was too busy with my stir fry to notice.
So, I'm afraid my first attempt to enjoy a game of football wasn't quite a success, but I have come up with the following suggestions to improve the entertainment value of the game:
1. Don't waste money on expensive kit - Skins & Shirts is a much better and more entertaining alternative.
2. If more than 5 minutes go without a goal, it's a penalty for whoever has control of the ball (or more radically, do away with 90 minutes shillyshallying and just have loads of penalties instead)
3. The ref is way too uptight. Big crunching tackles are the way forward for football. I want to see people hurt and bleeding on the pitch. They should earn their money.
Oh, and what was the deal with the goalie with the transparent Phantom Of The Opera mask?
I managed to watch some of it, but I kept getting distracted by the wood pigeons in the field behind my house. They'd had a tiff and had their backs to each other.
I realised that this attempt to watch a football match wasn't going very well so far, so I renewed my endeavour and focussed on the match. I got absorbed in watching the ref and the linesman running around looking silly. Then somebody scored.
Boro down 1-0 and I still hadn't seen much football. I decided that I would have to get behind Boro and show my support by impotently shouting at the screen. I worked myself up and shouted things like 'score a goal' and 'kick the ball….in the right direction!' I was by now ever so pleased with myself as I now felt like a proper Soccer fan.
The second half came and a man call Macaroni came on. I giggled every time I heard his name, but by now, Boro were two goals down and I needed my dinner.
A couple more goals got scored and it was over, but I was too busy with my stir fry to notice.
So, I'm afraid my first attempt to enjoy a game of football wasn't quite a success, but I have come up with the following suggestions to improve the entertainment value of the game:
1. Don't waste money on expensive kit - Skins & Shirts is a much better and more entertaining alternative.
2. If more than 5 minutes go without a goal, it's a penalty for whoever has control of the ball (or more radically, do away with 90 minutes shillyshallying and just have loads of penalties instead)
3. The ref is way too uptight. Big crunching tackles are the way forward for football. I want to see people hurt and bleeding on the pitch. They should earn their money.
Oh, and what was the deal with the goalie with the transparent Phantom Of The Opera mask?
sleaterkinney
Well-Known Member
That was your first mistake, Boro are such a dull, hopeless side that their manager has been selected to be the new England manager, you want to watch teams that play attractive football.
You're getting there.
Just pretend, OU - it doesn't matter if you know what you're talking about or not. It's the World Cup - gets promoted somewhat so any superior stat obsessed footie spod who claims you haven't the right to comment on a bit of popular culture is a gimp and deserves a flicked nose.
I only bother with the finals really. The rest is all chaff
I only bother with the finals really. The rest is all chaff
Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
Yeah, I've learnt that in the past few weeks - all you need to do is say stuff like '4-4-2 was a big mistake' and 'they might have come out on top if they'd played a bit wider' and 'Cole was back on form. A bit shakey at first but he soon found his game'PieEye said:
Dirty Martini
gets what he cant want
Orang Utan said:
There was a pretty comprehensive football cliches tread about 18 months ago but it seems to have fallen of the site. Maybe we should start a World Cup one ...
Orang Utan
Maybe I like the misery
Ha! I've just drawn Brazil and Iran in the sweepstake at work!
